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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog jumped all over my back stole my jumper and owner told me it was my fault WTAF?

118 replies

Reversetail · 20/09/2024 17:55

Can I just start this by saying I have had a very stressful week so tbh I am not feeling as capable of handling general stuff that life throws at you. I am also a dog lover and have my own dog, this isn’t a dog hating thread… but I was walking back from town with my primary aged autistic daughter who was wearing her green sunflower lanyard, (not that relevant but just adds to how selfish I feel this woman was). She was sitting on the only bench in a small park, my daughter wanted to sit on the bench as we always do but there was a woman shitting there taking up most of the bench on the phone with her young Labrador on a long lead. So I persuaded my daughter to sit on a wall a bit lower down. I did notice she had the dog on a long lead and didn’t seem to be paying much attention as she wasn’t looking what the dog was doing but when we sat down the dog was several meters away at the top of the park. The next thing I know something is on my back and it’s the dog. I grab hold the lead thinking she will call the dog and in attempt to pull it off, but she does nothing and the dog stays on my back so I get up, she doesn’t lock the lead or call the dogs name or even get up and come over. I realize she is doing nothing and the dog is not getting off. When I get up my jumper falls on the floor, a nice wool jumper, and the dog grabs it and plays with it. Still she dosen’t come over. I have to hold the end of the extended lead and I walk off with my daughter. As I get to leaving the park I heard her saying something about us on the phone making out it was our fault. So I shouted from the top of the park, as I am really pissed off “excuse me you should keep your dog on a shorter lead and she tells me ‘l’ll keep my dog on any lead length I like!’ I am stunned! That she has witness her dog jump all over me, grab my clothes and done nothing to stop it and then she then told me I shouldn’t have sat down, that I am self righteous and to fuck off. I am angry and shouting as a few metres away by this point at the top of the park. I keep saying all you had to do was apologise, and she tells me it’s all my fault for not noticing she had the dog, daring to sit down in a public park and that we probably sat there hoping she would move off the bench. I tell her I like dogs, but you need to keep your dog under control and I did her she is very selfish. Telling me he’s just a baby (at this point I said no he’s not he’s a dog!! Ffs) My daughter is very upset because I am shouting and I instantly regret loosing my temper and can’t stop crying once I get home as I feels like the straw that broke the camels back. After writing it out I don’t think I was unreasonable just wish I could have been calmer, I’m still stunned that anyone could be so selfish. So AIBU to have told her to keep her dog under control? The dog was not fully grown by the way but not a small puppy either.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

poppyzbrite4 · 20/09/2024 17:59

She obviously should have been in control of her dog but next time just ignore people like that. They are going to be obnoxious because they don't care how their behaviour affects others.

Motomum23 · 20/09/2024 18:00

Madness. The only thing I can think is why didn't you tell her to get control of her dog sooner - but perhaps you don't like confrontation. Yanbu

StaunchMomma · 20/09/2024 18:06

There seems to have been a bit of a boom in arsehole dog owners, for sure.

The entitlement in some is mind blowing.

dotdotdotdash · 20/09/2024 18:09

Of course YANBU. The dog owner was rude and negligent. I hope you can let it go and enjoy your evening. You should have said ‘control your dog’ as soon as it approached you keeping your voice steady but audible, with a good hard Paddington stare. I think it can be difficult to speak up because you worry about things getting out of control; but the more you do it, the more self-assured you’ll feel in dealing with idiots who cross boundaries

Howdidtheydothat · 20/09/2024 18:13

Film it, report it as dog out of control in a public place.

Reversetail · 20/09/2024 18:19

@Motomum23 @dotdotdotdash in hindsight I wish I had said something sooner in a calmer way, but I was in shock tbh and I am generally pretty tolerant of dogs as I like them, I also know it’s been a stressful week so I was trying to avoid confrontation as it was obvious by this point she was a dick. That didn’t work out though.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 20/09/2024 18:20

She was a Twat but in these situations just walk away
you don't know how she or anyone might react
She will not change anything as a result of you confronting her but you or dd could have been assaulted you just do not know
You had your dd with you so just walk away in these situations - it is the first rule of self defence.

BogRollBOGOF · 20/09/2024 18:21

I encountered one of these a few years ago. DS (8) was standing still catching a pokémon when a small dog ran up, ignored my attempts to divert its attention, jumped up putting its paws in DS's abdomen and winded him. He hadn't seen it approach so was startled and burst into tears gasping.
Apparently it was our fault for taking a child into "the dog walking woods" (it's a public nature reserve and dogs should be on a lead) and it was OK because it was a puppeeee. He was confidently obnoxious enough saying it to 6ft of DH so wasn't just punching down at a small woman and distressed child.

Another one last year was yacking away on her phone while her dog approached me growling and barking, and jumped up scratching my leg. Still yacking on her phone she just half-heartedly called for the dog and reached around with one hand while it was growling and scratching.

There's no point saying anything to these useless, entitled twats if they're not going to spontaneously appologise and take appropriate action to recall their out of control pest because they really don't grasp that they are in the wrong to the extent that they're breaking the law and the dog is within the definition of being out of control. They'll just victim blame anyone who has had the misfortune of being in the same public space and turn their fur baby into the victim instead. Bastards.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 20/09/2024 18:21

Dog should be destroyed if it can’t keep its grubby twat paws off innocent bystanders. We should not tolerate this bullshit any more.

Lemonadeand · 20/09/2024 18:24

I don’t see how anyone could say you were being unreasonable in this situation.

Cantsleeper · 20/09/2024 18:26

Lemonadeand · 20/09/2024 18:24

I don’t see how anyone could say you were being unreasonable in this situation.

Guarantee there’ll be at least one weirdo dog lover who’ll make out like it was ops’ fault

Creepybookworm · 20/09/2024 18:28

I'm do sick of dogs everywhere and crappy, selfish owners.

SodOffbacktoaibu · 20/09/2024 18:28

People are dicks.

Sorry this happened. Have a Wineand a cry if you need one.

I had an incident years ago which I still remember and feel pissed off with the owner about. She'd allowed her enormous greedy off the lead Labrador to come up to my baby's pram and try and get food out of the bag I had hooked on the back. I was walking my dog on a lead with the baby in the pram. This dog was jumping all over me and my tiny baby. I was furious and she was just abusive.

They're assholes. Too many dogs and crap selfish owners. 💐

CalmingFarm · 20/09/2024 18:31

And some dog-owners say that these kinds of situations don’t happen 🙄

I am sorry this happened to you.

Dandeliontea123 · 20/09/2024 18:34

My DH had an incident like this with the dog of an entitled dog owner. It was horrible. Sorry OPFlowers

Imfreetofeelgood · 20/09/2024 18:36

YANBU. She on the other hand was VU to be "shitting" on the bench.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/09/2024 18:36

a labrador dog jumped on your back whilst you were sitting on a wall, sat on your back for ages as you couldn't get this dog off you, then played with the jumper that had fallen ?

Roryno · 20/09/2024 18:41

People with those extendable leads seem often to be the thickest of dog owners. I have an outdoor cafe and welcome dogs, but ask people to keep their dogs on leads. Some people are stupid enough to think a long lead is fine, and don’t notice their dogs wrapping their lines around other people and creating trip hazards. A lot of people are thick as pigshit nowadays. And a lot of parents are as bad for paying absolutely no attention to what their kids are doing either. People generally don’t seem to have a lot of spacial awareness or common sense nowadays.

Bonjovispjs · 20/09/2024 18:45

Imfreetofeelgood · 20/09/2024 18:36

YANBU. She on the other hand was VU to be "shitting" on the bench.

Just what I was gonna say 🤣

Ablondiebutagoody · 20/09/2024 19:01

I don't understand why people don't give dogs a kick in this kind of situation

Fartly · 20/09/2024 19:01

there was a woman shitting there taking up most of the bench

I still think this part was worse than anything her dog did! 🤣

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 20/09/2024 19:05

100% in the wrong to allow the dog to jump over you.

“She was sitting on the only bench in a small park, my daughter wanted to sit on the bench as we always do but there was a woman shitting there taking up most of the bench on the phone”- this is irrelevant, unless you own the bench.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 20/09/2024 19:06

Ablondiebutagoody · 20/09/2024 19:01

I don't understand why people don't give dogs a kick in this kind of situation

Well reason one it depends on the dog doesn’t it, some will bite your leg.

Reason two the owner might punch you in the throat.

listsandbudgets · 20/09/2024 19:07

I'm not proud of it but when my dog was about 6 months she run up and stole a couple of chicken drum sticks from someone's picnic. Quite understandably they were not pleased I was so mortified I a) apologised profusely and b) legged it to the shop and bought them more cooked drumsticks and a box of chocolates.

These days she's strait on the lead if I see a picnic anywhere in the vicinity or just think it's a picnic sort of day because even after a lot of effort and dog trainer time we don't think we've managed to train it out of her though she does seem improved - it's stressful for me but we've found another picnic free place for her to run about in picnic type weather or I walk her early in the morning (not many picnics at 6.15am!)

OP you are not being unreasonable - dogs should behave and if they DON'T then the owner should do everything possible to put it right. I can understand you being upset. I love my dog but that doesn't mean everyone else should