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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog jumped all over my back stole my jumper and owner told me it was my fault WTAF?

118 replies

Reversetail · 20/09/2024 17:55

Can I just start this by saying I have had a very stressful week so tbh I am not feeling as capable of handling general stuff that life throws at you. I am also a dog lover and have my own dog, this isn’t a dog hating thread… but I was walking back from town with my primary aged autistic daughter who was wearing her green sunflower lanyard, (not that relevant but just adds to how selfish I feel this woman was). She was sitting on the only bench in a small park, my daughter wanted to sit on the bench as we always do but there was a woman shitting there taking up most of the bench on the phone with her young Labrador on a long lead. So I persuaded my daughter to sit on a wall a bit lower down. I did notice she had the dog on a long lead and didn’t seem to be paying much attention as she wasn’t looking what the dog was doing but when we sat down the dog was several meters away at the top of the park. The next thing I know something is on my back and it’s the dog. I grab hold the lead thinking she will call the dog and in attempt to pull it off, but she does nothing and the dog stays on my back so I get up, she doesn’t lock the lead or call the dogs name or even get up and come over. I realize she is doing nothing and the dog is not getting off. When I get up my jumper falls on the floor, a nice wool jumper, and the dog grabs it and plays with it. Still she dosen’t come over. I have to hold the end of the extended lead and I walk off with my daughter. As I get to leaving the park I heard her saying something about us on the phone making out it was our fault. So I shouted from the top of the park, as I am really pissed off “excuse me you should keep your dog on a shorter lead and she tells me ‘l’ll keep my dog on any lead length I like!’ I am stunned! That she has witness her dog jump all over me, grab my clothes and done nothing to stop it and then she then told me I shouldn’t have sat down, that I am self righteous and to fuck off. I am angry and shouting as a few metres away by this point at the top of the park. I keep saying all you had to do was apologise, and she tells me it’s all my fault for not noticing she had the dog, daring to sit down in a public park and that we probably sat there hoping she would move off the bench. I tell her I like dogs, but you need to keep your dog under control and I did her she is very selfish. Telling me he’s just a baby (at this point I said no he’s not he’s a dog!! Ffs) My daughter is very upset because I am shouting and I instantly regret loosing my temper and can’t stop crying once I get home as I feels like the straw that broke the camels back. After writing it out I don’t think I was unreasonable just wish I could have been calmer, I’m still stunned that anyone could be so selfish. So AIBU to have told her to keep her dog under control? The dog was not fully grown by the way but not a small puppy either.

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 20/09/2024 19:39

CherryValley5 · 20/09/2024 19:20

It stole a jumper. Calm down.

Tbf I'd be really pissed at one of my nice jumpers being taken by a dog

I mean maybe not to extent of pp but still

Newsenmum · 20/09/2024 19:43

poppyzbrite4 · 20/09/2024 17:59

She obviously should have been in control of her dog but next time just ignore people like that. They are going to be obnoxious because they don't care how their behaviour affects others.

Ignore her? The dog jumped on her and took her jumper!

Katrinawaves · 20/09/2024 19:44

I have an awful family member with whom I’m now NC but before I cut her off I recall her recounting a story about how she’d taken her snappy dog off lead along a canal tow path and they encountered a jogger. The dog chased the jogger and bit him. And my family member thought this was (a) funny and (b) the jogger’s own fault 🤦‍♀️

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 20/09/2024 19:44

CherryValley5 · 20/09/2024 19:35

The key difference being that you’re (hopefully) not a playful dog.

I’m not saying that it is acceptable behaviour, but it’s not malicious or akin to assault. Purely down to a dog that hasn’t been trained and a useless owner who clearly can’t be bothered to do so.

Not sure why being canine excuses invading personal space. People choose to own dogs. People chose to breed dogs - they’re frankenstein’s monsters, not naturally occurring animals. Zero tolerance if these experiments in genetic modification constantly bring negative experiences to everyone else.

poppyzbrite4 · 20/09/2024 19:44

Newsenmum · 20/09/2024 19:43

Ignore her? The dog jumped on her and took her jumper!

Not the dog! The woman badmouthing her.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 20/09/2024 19:45

Katrinawaves · 20/09/2024 19:44

I have an awful family member with whom I’m now NC but before I cut her off I recall her recounting a story about how she’d taken her snappy dog off lead along a canal tow path and they encountered a jogger. The dog chased the jogger and bit him. And my family member thought this was (a) funny and (b) the jogger’s own fault 🤦‍♀️

If that were me that dog’s #foreverswim would happen right there in the canal.

Newsenmum · 20/09/2024 19:46

CherryValley5 · 20/09/2024 19:35

The key difference being that you’re (hopefully) not a playful dog.

I’m not saying that it is acceptable behaviour, but it’s not malicious or akin to assault. Purely down to a dog that hasn’t been trained and a useless owner who clearly can’t be bothered to do so.

The owner did nothing. If my toddler climbed on someone and ruined their jumper I’d be mortified,

Barrenfieldoffucks · 20/09/2024 19:48

I flipped the bird at a parent on the school run today OP, then went home and cried. I definitely would have cried in your position.

Devilsmommy · 20/09/2024 19:48

Ablondiebutagoody · 20/09/2024 19:01

I don't understand why people don't give dogs a kick in this kind of situation

Exactly

AngelicKaty · 20/09/2024 19:48

Reversetail · 20/09/2024 17:55

Can I just start this by saying I have had a very stressful week so tbh I am not feeling as capable of handling general stuff that life throws at you. I am also a dog lover and have my own dog, this isn’t a dog hating thread… but I was walking back from town with my primary aged autistic daughter who was wearing her green sunflower lanyard, (not that relevant but just adds to how selfish I feel this woman was). She was sitting on the only bench in a small park, my daughter wanted to sit on the bench as we always do but there was a woman shitting there taking up most of the bench on the phone with her young Labrador on a long lead. So I persuaded my daughter to sit on a wall a bit lower down. I did notice she had the dog on a long lead and didn’t seem to be paying much attention as she wasn’t looking what the dog was doing but when we sat down the dog was several meters away at the top of the park. The next thing I know something is on my back and it’s the dog. I grab hold the lead thinking she will call the dog and in attempt to pull it off, but she does nothing and the dog stays on my back so I get up, she doesn’t lock the lead or call the dogs name or even get up and come over. I realize she is doing nothing and the dog is not getting off. When I get up my jumper falls on the floor, a nice wool jumper, and the dog grabs it and plays with it. Still she dosen’t come over. I have to hold the end of the extended lead and I walk off with my daughter. As I get to leaving the park I heard her saying something about us on the phone making out it was our fault. So I shouted from the top of the park, as I am really pissed off “excuse me you should keep your dog on a shorter lead and she tells me ‘l’ll keep my dog on any lead length I like!’ I am stunned! That she has witness her dog jump all over me, grab my clothes and done nothing to stop it and then she then told me I shouldn’t have sat down, that I am self righteous and to fuck off. I am angry and shouting as a few metres away by this point at the top of the park. I keep saying all you had to do was apologise, and she tells me it’s all my fault for not noticing she had the dog, daring to sit down in a public park and that we probably sat there hoping she would move off the bench. I tell her I like dogs, but you need to keep your dog under control and I did her she is very selfish. Telling me he’s just a baby (at this point I said no he’s not he’s a dog!! Ffs) My daughter is very upset because I am shouting and I instantly regret loosing my temper and can’t stop crying once I get home as I feels like the straw that broke the camels back. After writing it out I don’t think I was unreasonable just wish I could have been calmer, I’m still stunned that anyone could be so selfish. So AIBU to have told her to keep her dog under control? The dog was not fully grown by the way but not a small puppy either.

Full disclosure: I have a 16.5 year old Westie and love most dogs, but hate irresponsible owners.
YANBU. She does absolutely nothing while her dog is jumping all over your back and playing with your jumper, but attempts to justify her negligent behaviour - I suspect your "all you had to do was apologise" comment got under her skin, but instead of then doing so, she doubled down on her unjustifiable position instead. Yup, she's an arsehole (and the fact that she said you "probably sat there hoping she would move off the bench" just confirms that - so essentially she's admitting she deliberately sat there longer just to piss you off).
Forget all about her - she's not worth your energy. Hope you have a better week next week. 😊

Beth216 · 20/09/2024 19:53

The woman is obviously a complete CF. Is your jumper ruined? I would be seriously fucked off. So sorry this happened to you and your dd OP.

DoTheDinosaurStomp · 20/09/2024 19:57

I'd have booted it tbh. Some dog jumping all over me? An unknown dog which you know nothing about? Nope, it would have been forcefully moved away from me.

AngelicKaty · 20/09/2024 20:00

CherryValley5 · 20/09/2024 19:31

Another day, any dog hating thread 🥱 Blame useless owners and the now overgrown, untrained + unsocialised lockdown puppies, not an innocent animal who doesn’t know any better.

OP, I am certain that in reality you knew the answer to your question before asking the entirety of MN and starting even more dog related froth.. Of course YANBU, the owner sounds ridiculous.

Indeed, even when the OP states she has a dog herself and doesn't want to start a dog-hating thread. Some people just can't help themselves, it seems.

justasking111 · 20/09/2024 20:00

Our most recent puppy is a Labrador. They're big, boisterous and strong. I hate those extending leads, they're dangerous.

I would have berated the woman too.

CherryValley5 · 20/09/2024 20:04

Newsenmum · 20/09/2024 19:46

The owner did nothing. If my toddler climbed on someone and ruined their jumper I’d be mortified,

I very clearly said that I agree the owner was in the wrong.

Moonlightdust · 20/09/2024 20:05

Well I’ve grown up with dogs and am an animal lover, but the absurdity of some dog owners these days leaves me dumbfounded. I’ve had to put up small border fencing around the front of my property as I had frequently had owners walk their dogs on extended leads and allowing them to do their business on my garden. When I dared post a polite notice on my community Facebook page, I had several replies saying it’s a dog’s nature to do it’s business where it chooses and suggesting maybe it’s not obvious that it’s private property - umm I think a small front lawn attached to the front of a property is obvious it’s a garden? 💁‍♀️

Dawninglory · 20/09/2024 20:11

I would/have been the same Op, similar thing happened to me with dog and then in the supermarket ( much to my DS teen embarrassment 😳) what I didn't realise then but know now the dreaded peri- menopause had happened!!!!! I went from 0-100👹 Oh well! X

ThomasPatrickKeatingsDegas · 20/09/2024 20:12

Katrinawaves · 20/09/2024 19:44

I have an awful family member with whom I’m now NC but before I cut her off I recall her recounting a story about how she’d taken her snappy dog off lead along a canal tow path and they encountered a jogger. The dog chased the jogger and bit him. And my family member thought this was (a) funny and (b) the jogger’s own fault 🤦‍♀️

Sounds like my dipshit mil 🧐

HighHeelsOnCobblestones · 20/09/2024 20:14

YANBU OP. No dog should be jumping up people. It’s awful at the best of times, downright dangerous if someone is frail or allergic. She got defensive because she knows she’s in the wrong. Hopefully you challenging her behaviour will make her take more care and control her dog around others.

Reversetail · 20/09/2024 20:16

@Dawninglory yip perimeno in full swing this week too

OP posts:
Reversetail · 20/09/2024 20:16

Moonlightdust · 20/09/2024 20:05

Well I’ve grown up with dogs and am an animal lover, but the absurdity of some dog owners these days leaves me dumbfounded. I’ve had to put up small border fencing around the front of my property as I had frequently had owners walk their dogs on extended leads and allowing them to do their business on my garden. When I dared post a polite notice on my community Facebook page, I had several replies saying it’s a dog’s nature to do it’s business where it chooses and suggesting maybe it’s not obvious that it’s private property - umm I think a small front lawn attached to the front of a property is obvious it’s a garden? 💁‍♀️

The entitlement is just crazy!

OP posts:
EasyPeelings · 20/09/2024 20:18

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

I agree.

Reversetail · 20/09/2024 20:18

@Beth216 the jumper lives to fight another day thankfully

OP posts:
GoditsSeptember · 20/09/2024 20:20

I agree with this. I no longer take my kids to the local parks because of this type of situation OP speaks of. I'm a runner and I dread being bitten by a dog even though I love dogs. One did run up to me off the lead (Alsatian), I had a split second to judge the dogs temperament, so I stopped running and held my hand out, let it sniff it and stayed calm. The owner was too far away but I heard him call the dog. I'm not sure what else I should have done. It's the "he's friendly" ones. Growling friendly dog. Yeh.

Edit, was meant to quote @Katrinawaves at start

ThatFlightyTemptress · 20/09/2024 20:25

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 20/09/2024 19:28

It jumped on top of a person without her consent. If I did that I’d be charged with assault.

It’s a dog…if you did a shit in the street you’d be charged for that as well