To forward face 15 month old

[Ohtoeisme]

I know from the point of view of an accident we aren’t as safe; the problem is she has become car sick when rear facing and apart for it being unpleasant for her it’s also a choking hazard.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable but I am worried about judgement, stupid really. I guess I’m wondering if you would judge!

Her child is incredibly, incredibly unlikely to die in a car crash in either a forward facing or rear facing car seat.

Excellent post from @BertieBotts the most important thing about any car seat is that it's fitted correctly to the car and the child.

Going in a car is the highest risk thing you’ll likely do each day. Make it as safe as possible!

It makes a huge difference! To adults as well as babies.

It really does!
I am an adult and I still cannot travel backwards on a train. I get terrible motion sickness, so I can imagine a poor toddler would feel the same, especially strapped into a car seat and unable to see properly through the window.
DO what it takes OP. Travel sickness is grim.

OK cool, forward face her then. What is this whole thread about? Wondering if people would judge? Or moaning when they give you their opinion?

My 2nd DD is the same as yours and I turned her at 16 months for the same reason as you, after her choking on her vomit nearly made me crash my car and I realised enough was enough. I can see you appreciate the safety guidelines about rear facing but when like you say, they are always vomiting from being in the car then it is a risk vs benefit situation to weigh up. There is nothing more distracting having a child vomiting in the back of the car and not being able to help them.

I appreciate budget is an issue but do you know anyone who has an extended rear facing seat like an Axkid Move that you could try her in? She might be better off more upright than her current seat (I don’t know what that one is like) - the ERF seats can be put much more upright than a standard RF seat like a Joie Stages. Might just be worth a try in terms of how young she is, and might also reduce the risk of choking if she is actually sick?

Having a vomiting, streaming child in the backseat is much more dangerous than a happy child facing forward.

Have you tried the travel sickness bands? Does opening the window make any difference?

I am quite passionate about ERF but then I’ve never had to deal with vomiting on every journey. I do agree with the other suggestion of trying her in the passenger seat, does she still fit in her infant carrier, you could try that in the passenger seat to see if it makes a difference?

I wouldn’t worry about people judging you in real life, I very rarely see kids rear facing past toddlerhood around. In fact I know someone who FF their baby on their first birthday :(

Vomiting is a distraction to the driver which increases the risk of having an accident.
Vomiting is a choking hazard to the young child.

There is more safety benefit in preventing vomiting than there is in quibbling over very specific additional safety benefits of specific car seats over other legal, well-installed car seats. As time passes, there are diminishing returns of the safety benefits of ERF compared to FF.

A young child being sick regularly faces a greater risk from the vomiting than the risk of being FF and not having the additional protections of ERF.

I wouldn't judge you in the slightest. But then I have the same issue. I'm not sure you could understand it if you haven't seen it, he is violently and prolonged sick, and there is so much of it. He sobs beforehand because he knows it's coming and we arrive wherever we're going with a soaking, upset baby. We can't be in the car for more than 10 mins before it starts and it only stops if he falls asleep. Luckily we live somewhere that in our day to day lives we don't need to drive, but it still dictates what we can do at weekends. Neither of us dare to drive solo with him. We're going to buy a different car first, as he seems to be a bit better when traveling in my parents larger, higher up car. And if that doesn't work we'll have to forward face him. I'm hoping to get to 18 months if we possibly can.

Just don't talk to other parents about it. I've never met anyone in real life who comments on this type of thing.

I had to move my son out of his second car seat to a high back booster as he used to go crazy in it and try and escape. I knew the risk and felt it was necessary in the circumstances.

Maxi Cosi are good for forward facing, and though there is no equivalent but RF only model to calculate with, my rough estimate of the FF score (based on reverse engineering the combined ADAC scores) is good for that seat. Possibly even better than the Trifix - hard to say for certain because it's just an estimate and the Trifix is an old score. But my estimate for the frontal crash score on that seat is only beaten by the Axissfix Air and the Anoris and it's the best price-performance ratio (for FF) on my list.

So personally, I wouldn't replace it anyway :) unless you have another baby in the future to pass it down to.

One of the things that I especially like about Maxi Cosi is their harnesses tend to sit right every time without much fiddling about. Just really well designed. Maxi Cosi FF seats still consistently get good results too. The Titan i-size ones are great if you end up having another DC to pass the spin seat on to.

The Axkid isn't that much more upright than the Maxi Cosi. It's not reclined like the Joie Stages.

I know the line on the car seat groups is that direction makes no difference to car sickness, but I don't really get this because I have seen multiple anecdotes claiming the opposite, and my own personal experience is that sitting backwards will make me start to feel sick almost instantly, so I don't see why this would be different for children. I understand that the claim is that RF only makes car sickness start faster whereas they will still get car sick when FF, just after a delay. But if the delay is 20+ minutes then that covers most of your everyday short drives, so a huge difference in quality of life.

Maybe people who say car sickness isn't important simply haven't experienced it and don't understand what it's like? I still get so anxious before long journeys and I'm sure some of that is related to the travel sickness which was awful when I was younger.

My husband and his mother are unable to travel rear facing on buses or trains due to motion sickness.
My eldest had silent reflux and would scream without fail every time he was in the car seat. We tried so many car seats and mom worked. We didn't go out in the car unless we absolutely had to. We forward faced at 14 months. He's 11 and still unable to travel rearfaing.
My second rearfaced until age 4 and my third had similar issues and rearfaced until 2. Unless you have been through it, it is easy to suggest blankets, cleaning etc. When you're driving on the motorway and trying to make sure your child isn't screaming and puking whilst trying to keep the car going. Op you have my sympathies.

My child is perfectly safe thank you.

Over the counter piriton can be used under two. A dose of 2.5 ml 30 minutes before travelling. My child's hospital consultant suggested trying it as she was already using it for eczema scratching. It's worked really well so please do try that. Our record was 8 full changes of clothes on a trip to grandparents and the piriton completely stopped that, in combination with judicious fresh air/ open windows etc. She had a spin seat, lots of people told us it was because she was backwards but it was the piriton that made the difference, not forward facing. We tried lots of things. Salty crisps and crackers seemed to help too if we stopped to eat.

But we have to drive every day, @Mmr224 I really don’t think it’s good for her to have it daily!

@OhMaria2 i do say in my op I’m worried about being judged and that is what the threads about. Clearly in your case the answer is ‘yes.’

If you look at actual statistics, the risks of being injured or killed in a car accident are already very low, extremely low for a child in any car seat as well.
Plus RF has only been a thing for the past decade and those of us who had babies before then weren’t seeing dozens of babies killed every year when they were FF.
I also had a child who would scream RF and luckily I had him in 2010 when there wasn’t hysteria over seats. He was turned at 12 months and was a happy baby in the car immediately.

@Ohtoeisme I kept my DD rear facing until she was old enough to go into a high backed booster (we had one of the 25 kg rear facing seats) but in your position I would definitely consider forward facing. I would try all possibilities rear facing first - position in the car, recline of the seat etc but if no difference I’d turn around. Like you say, it’s a balance of risk. If turning her forwards makes no difference I’d turn her back rear facing though due to the safety aspect. I had a car accident with DD when she was about 15 months and rear facing. It caused thousands of pounds of damage to my car and I had severe whiplash - she was absolutely fine.

Luckily my DD didn’t suffer from car sickness but she did have a chronic cough which often made her sick. A spare set of car seat covers was a god send - one on the seat and one in the wash.

You'll be judged by a few people because car seat people are sanctimonious and irritating, but the majority of people in the real world turn their children round to face forwards around age 2 if not before and never give it a seconds thought.

You aren’t going to drive safely if there is a child screaming and puking in the back. There things are about balancing risk and there are no absolutes.

I didn't judge you I gave you my opinion, and also some advice about car sickness. I got jumped on vs every other poster that said the same. What is your problem.

I didn’t jump on you. I said that I was surprised at the indifference towards her being sick. That wasn’t aimed at you, it was everyone who said they’d keep her RF even though it makes her sick; for some reason you took it personally and have been arguing with me ever since.

Exactly.

I wonder how many of the rear-facing advocates have suffered travel sickness themselves, or have tried to drive with a screaming, vomiting child in the back seat every single day?

The most important thing in a car is that the driver is safe and not distracted - OP is far more likely to have a crash if she can't concentrate because her baby is vomiting constantly!

Why don't you get a car seat that does FF and RF, then do RF for long motorway journeys but FF for all the short day to day trips? I know you're more likely to have an accident on a 30mph road, but also an accident at 70mph on the motorway is generally going to be more catastrophic x