To forward face 15 month old

[Ohtoeisme]

I know from the point of view of an accident we aren’t as safe; the problem is she has become car sick when rear facing and apart for it being unpleasant for her it’s also a choking hazard.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable but I am worried about judgement, stupid really. I guess I’m wondering if you would judge!

There's just so much scare mongering about this topic. With how passionate people get about it you'd think there's are thousands of children being very seriously injured and killed on the roads every day.

There aren't. A properly fitted forward facing car seat is safe. A rear facing seat is safer in certain scenarios. It doesn't mean ff is dangerous.

It's not like you're throwing your child unrestrained around a banger racing track.

These threads just make you want to overhaul the maths curricula don't they 🙈

I forward faced my son at 2 for the same reason. And it has completely changed his travel sickness from every car journey to once in 3 months. (We moved house when he was two to somewhere reliant on a car. When he was only in the car twice a month when I visited my mum being sick didn’t seem so much of a problem. I was also sitting in the back with him, so could react quickly to him being sick.)

But the moment we moved and he started being sick every day I turned him to FF. The risk of a crash is much higher with me distracted by him crying and then throwing up. Sorry you are getting such a beating on her OP. Think those posters have never had to drive with their child being sick constantly.

We switched ro forward facing at this kind of age (when we had our oldest the law was different, so 15 months felt quite old to do this back then!!)

We bought seats which had impact cushions rather than traditional strap restraints- at the time they were really highly rates by which? as having the cushion across the front significantly lowers the forces which the child carries compared with a 5 point harness.

For us I did have friends who were rear facing evangelists so I was aware of the impacts even though extended rear facing was virtually unheard of- however we had a screaming child who was just catatonic in the car. It was a no-brainer for us that having them forward facing and quiet made travelling so much safer than driving along whilst stressed and distracted about what was happening in the back of the car. I don't think people who haven't been through similar really realise the impact on the driver of having these kind of distractions.

@Magiccarpetforsale to be totally honest the replies have been less damming than I thought. I think that awful car seat group on Facebook skewed my perspective a bit.

We had to forward face our first from around 16 months as she was always travel sick. We had already tried things like having no mirror so she couldn't see movement, no food for atleast an hour before travel and no food when travelling long distance but moving her foward facing alleviated most of her motion sickness. She was only ever car sick after that on really long and stop start journeys or if we ended up having some food en route. I would have preferred to rear face as long as possible but I weighed up the pros and cons as I saw them and forward facing was better for us.

Your poor daughter. She must be miserable travelling. I feel for you both. You can only do what you think is best for her. I'm very much pro RF but I can't say, in your circumstances, I wouldn't FF.

When our son was young, rear facing wasn't pushed so much. We used a Cybex Pallas Car seat as his second seat. He was forward facing, but with the bump bar from 18 months to about 6 I think. I'm not saying that is the right thing to do, and I think rear facing is more pushed now than it was when he was little (11 years ago), but a seat with a bump bar, might be an option as a forward face with extra protection, if you can't do rear facing. Maybe ask a health visitor, or even a car seat fitter. Good Luck.

My eldest was terribly car sick on every journey, including buses. She was in a joie 360 rear facing in grandparents car. I didnt turn her FF as we dont have a car so i could manage the sickness in my DMs car. But she started to get better around 2, and at 3, i moved her into a britax car seat RF and she was loads better. I think maybe the old car seat was at an angle that didn't work for her? Or as pp said, maybe affecting the view from the windows? So it could also be your particular seat that is exacerbating the issue. It is very demoralising to be constantly dealing with sick but hopefully some of the solutions pp have suggested might also be worth a try as well as I'd have never thought that would make a difference when it did.

Those car seat groups are insane. 🤣 And I am pro ERF, but they are just bonkers.

If you do FF, I've seen the britax king R129 very highly rated /apparently safest FF harnessed seat.

What about my description of how awful motion sickness is makes you think ' meh'?
I'd still choose that than forward facing a child that young.

Well, for precisely that reason - you’d rather she was sick than forward face her, which suggests a bit of an indifference to the being sick issue.

Just face her forward. Poor kid will be tortured with that nausea facing backwards.

RF is definitely safer if all other things are equal but when it is causing a significant problem (e.g. travel sickness) then it's not THAT crucial that you should continue over and above all else, especially when the child is over 15 months. (Even more so when the child is over 2).

Yes, crash safety is important, but everyday comfort is important too. And worrying about vomiting or actual vomiting happening is distracting to the driver, which is much more of a problem - it's better not to be in an accident in the first place than to be in the best seat but a higher chance of crashing.

I think it's important to know that RF is safer but I do think some of the RF advocates go to such an extreme point that it is hard to find out information on how to make FF as safe as possible so that is what I try to do.

If you can stretch it out a bit longer e.g. to 18 months, it's worth doing. But 15 months is a good minimum if you are absolutely desperate to change ASAP. (If you have an R129 seat, it's also a legal minimum).

If you have a spin type seat and can switch based on the journey or start out RF and then turn FF if they show signs of sickness, that is worth doing.

When you are FF, it's really really important to check install and harness tightness. This matters a lot more than it does for RF seats. It's probably one of the bigger factors in why RF is safer, because it is very common to get these things wrong.

So first that the seat is installed as tightly as it can be. If it is isofix, wiggle it to see if you can click the isofix arms in any tighter. Play around with the settings on the leg to find the lowest one which is solidly green. If it's seatbelt fitted, really kneel into the seat to get ALL the slack out of the belt. Double check your manual to see if there are any steps which have been missed.

Double check where the 5 point harness straps are - they should usually be level with the child's shoulders. If they are between two slots, slightly higher is better. If it has pads on the harness, double check the correct positioning for them and make sure they always have the right position and that they aren't swapped, inverted or twisted. Tighten the straps so you can just slip your fingers flat under them. Again, the manual can advise.

Usually you take all inserts out of a RF/FF seat to FF - check the manual.

Maximise space in front of the child so push the front seat as far forward as it can go of course keeping it safe for the adult passenger.

Consider whether it's worth swapping the seat for one which is optimised for FF - a lot of the multi stage/combination ones aren't really FF optimised. BUT, this is splitting hairs, the most important thing is all the stuff I wrote above which you can do with the seat you have now. This is just an optional extra if you have the budget to change the seat and it would make you feel more comfortable. I realise that you have likely not long bought this one, so if it would cause a problem to change it then it's likely not worth doing.

Good features in a FF seat:
Further back in the car (e.g. compared with a spin seat)
FF only
Isofix + support leg or top tether (most are top tether, not leg)
One piece shell/construction, fewer moving parts is better.
Airbags (very expensive though - only Cybex Anoris and Maxi Cosi Axissfix Air have them).
Some kind of energy management system e.g. grippy pads, energy absorbing pads, Britax have a thing which makes the isofix connector absorb some of the forward movement.
Brand - Britax, Recaro, Maxi Cosi and Besafe all get good safety for FF. Other brands are mixed or not so much.
R129 safety standard is worth having as it's stricter especially on the forward movement.

Impact shields aren't overall any safer - on average they have roughly the same rate of real-world protection as all forward facing seats. So a good quality 5 point harness seat, from a good brand, with proper installation and correct use of the harness is probably going to give better performance than a shield. OTOH a wrongly used harness or a poor-performing or mis-installed 5-point-harness seat might give worse performance. Shield seats (especially the seatbelt type) OTOH are rarely misused. The regulations for shield seats were tightened up with R129 as well, so it may be worth opting for an R129 seat if a shield appeals to you.

King R129 is probably the best belt fitted one out there.

For isofix seats, Britax Trifix 2 is still the highest rated apart from the Cybex Anoris which is impact shield with airbag.

Thanks so much for that informative post @BertieBotts

Our car seat is the Maxi-CosiMica Eco i-Size Car Seat. I’ve only just got it (and it’s been sicked on twice, nice) and in all truth and honesty I can’t afford another, that one wasn’t cheap.

Yeah are people really just letting their kids be sick and miserable or do people not really understand how horrible it can be for them?

I take both issues seriously. But prioritising not dying in a car crash doesn't make it ' meh' on the other issue does it.

My kids rear-faced for years but in your situation I would be seriously considering FF from 15 months! It's safer in a crash to be RF but day to day you need to be able to concentrate on the road and your toddler needs to be comfortable. If at all possible I would buy one of those mega expensive air bag seats. But no judgement from me if you turn your current seat round!

OP just watch the video that Snowdrops17 posted then make your choice.

Do what you need to do to keep her safe, if that's forward facing her then do it! You clearly are a very caring mama and are willing to do what's right. Trust your gut x

I think it does actually, not wanting to split hairs about it but I think there are a few things.

It is far from certain I’ll be in a car crash let alone a serious one; it is almost certain she’ll be sick. So it is kind of saying - right well, you have to go through this, not just the discomfort of nausea and then being sick and being wet and uncomfortable and smelly - you have to experience this because the alternative is worse.

To me that’s quite an extreme position and one that I do think shows a certain amount of indifference and dare I say callousness about the sickness. I used to be in the car seat group and I do get people have strong feelings about rear facing but to ignore the distress of a child in that way isn’t something I could do.

I’ve seen it before, thanks. Like I say, I’ve been on the car seat safety group on FB and admittedly I didn’t stick around long but that was to do with the tone of the messages not the messages themselves. If DD wasn’t car sick I wouldn’t be forward facing her, but she is, and the idea that I would put her through sickness sometimes multiple times a day is quite cold really.

That Facebook group is the single most dogmatic place I've seen in 20 years online, another level.

I RF'd ours til 4, but they've got very sturdy stomachs. My friend who had very pukey children FFd them really early and imho that was 100% the right decision!

Think about what causes crashes... Distraction. We all know how horrendously dangerous it is to look at a mobile while driving. If your child is throwing up (and maybe the others are screaming), even if you're just doing more glances into the RF mirror to check on them, that's a HUGE distraction right there...

Well enjoy your personal preference putting your child more at risk