To forward face 15 month old

[Ohtoeisme]

I know from the point of view of an accident we aren’t as safe; the problem is she has become car sick when rear facing and apart for it being unpleasant for her it’s also a choking hazard.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable but I am worried about judgement, stupid really. I guess I’m wondering if you would judge!

It absolutely does make a difference.

It absolutely makes a huge difference to me 🤮. I can just about cope travelling forwards on a bus or a train but my god travelling backwards makes me sick for hours.

I don’t think there’s an age limit that forward facing = alleviation of sickness! That makes no logical sense!

It's always a balance of risk. Always.

Is it safer to have baby in cot than cosleep? Yes, in perfect conditions. But if baby doesn't sleep in cot and you end up having no sleep then the risk of you falling asleep on sofa, or car accident etc from sleep deprivation is more risky than intentionally bedsharing according to guidelines.

Is rear facing safer? Yes, in the event of a particular type of accident. So if you have a child happy rear facing leave them rear facing. But rear facing being safer doesn't mean forward facing is unsafe when in a properly installed car seat etc. Most people manage to go years without an accident, never mind the type in which the rear facing is safer. A travel sick baby could throw up every trip, even multiple times a day. That's not counting accident more likely if you're distracted checking isn't choking when you hear them vomiting again.

If baby meets all requirements to forward face in that seat, properly installed etc I wouldn't judge you one bit.

She's a bit young for it yet, but we always kept a couple of used/empty ice cream tubs with lids in the back of the car for car sickness emergencies, both for our own kids back in the day and now for the DGC. They are now 4 and 7 however so old enough to access and use them themselves if required. Would your older child be able to pass one to her OP if they are also in the back with her? It is still not nice being sick but avoids much of the mess.

Please don't turn her forward facing, the consequences are absolutely not worth the risk, especially below the age of 4. Legal does not mean safe! Mine is still rear facing at age 6 and she'll stay that way until her seat is outgrown in another year or two.

I would put her in the front with the airbag off so you can see her. Is she still in an infant carrier or a next stage seat? Is she sitting upright or reclined? You may find adjusting her position helps. Also you can usually buy spare covers for the seat if you need to wash them regularly.

One of my daughters had terrible travel sickness. Vomited almost every time we got the car from six months. We just got used to washing the car seat cover every time we go to our destination. She would even be sick on a 20 min bus journey. Thankfully, we did nearly all our local travel by bike. It was awful, but I would never risk her safety by turning her the way earlier. We put a mirror on the seat in front of her so that we could easily see if she’s been sick. And I often sat next to her in the back when my husband was driving with a nappy under her chin. She was a very light toddler, and when we eventually turn around there really didn’t seem to be much difference. I think the difference (certainly for me) is being able to focus on the upcoming horizon, which they can’t do as they only see the back of the front seat, and it’s definitely not safe to put them in the front seat. Unlike me, she did eventually slowly grow out of it by about 10 (though still feels ill at 16 if she looks at her phone too long). Kwells worked pretty well for her, so after the age of two we always gave her those on anything but the shortest journey. But that was ok for us, as we only really did 2+ hour journeys in the car to holiday or stay with family.

My sympathies to you and your daughter. It’s horrible.

I have to admit I’m surprised at the ‘meh let her be sick’ sort of replies. Even if there’s no risk from choking it’s bloody miserable!

We turned early as we also had a carsick baby. She always had been, from age of 3 months any jouney over 20 minutes was a vomit session. Stopped the second we turned her. I think we did it closer to 18 months-20 months. Tried everything including getting shocks and struts rechecked on car. Permanent Ipad watching as that was about all that "helped", even motion sickness medication. Sometimes it worked, but inevitably I was cleaning sick off a car seat. Hope it works for you.

@rebecca100 given that you would very rarely be able to safely and quickly respond to a chocking child in the backseat while driving a mirror does nothing to negate the risk of chocking really.

I’m a big proponent of rear facing for as long as possible but in your situation OP, if you’ve tried every other avenue to reduce the sickness, I would forward face too.

Think of like a risk matrix. The consequences of her choking on her vomit or being in a severe car crash while forward facing are similar but while she’s rear facing and vomiting everyday or close to then the likelihood of her choking is much much higher than the likelihood of being in a crash and it’s therefore the higher risk and she’s safer overall forward facing.

I was a big advocate for extended rear facing, my eldest was almost at school before he moved forward. However my 2nd escaped 3 different car seats and I tried the houdini straps etc/putting a jacket backwards over him once strapped in. I'll never forget the day I was driving at 70mph and he appeared on the armrest beside me, I almost crashed the car. On the balance of risk we put him in a forward facing seat before 2 with an impact shield because even though it was less safe it was safer than an unrestrained child.

It was a tricky decision but one that I have no regrets making

There is a lot of research showing that, unfortunately, forward facing very young children is significantly less safe in the unlikely event of an accident and carries risks of injuries like internal decapitation. Children’s necks (particularly when under 4yo) are not as developed as ours so the spinal cord is less protected.

OP, it sounds like you’ve done thorough research and weighed up the risks and benefits. While I personally wouldn’t turn the seat just yet, you can only do what you think is best for your child based on your research and if anyone judges you for that, ignore them. The PP suggestion of forward facing on short, local journeys and rear facing on longer journeys involving faster roads sounds like a good compromise.

Perfectly said.

A child being sick (unattended) in the back of a car is hugely dangerous in itself - and infinitely more likely than a serious accident. I'm not sure why so many posters are keen to overlook that aspect of it.

Legal does not mean safe

But legal does mean she should be free of villainization.

My son is 2 and is not rear facing. He is too long.

Statements like "five times safer" are a bit meaningless without stating the baseline. Five times a tiny risk is still a tiny risk.

What does safer mean? The risk of a serious injury is lower, or death? In what circumstances? Does it apply to OP's driving? If most of her trips are within a couple of miles of her house on 30mph roads then the risk is miniscule anyway. If she's doing miles on the motorway every day then it'll be higher and lots of driving on narrow country roads higher again. And then there's the safety rating of her car, and the car seat itself.

If you're going to quote a statistic you should understand what it means and how it applies to the situation at hand.

OP I wouldn't blame you in the slightest for changing. Driving with a screaming (in our case) or vomiting (in yours) child isn't safe either.

Just because it's safer to RF, it doesn't logically follow that it's dangerous to FF. The risk of being involved in a crash is already very low and the risk of serious injury is also lower. A properly restrained child in a FF seat is statistically unlikely to suffer a severe injury. There's a much, much higher risk of serious injury with an unattended baby choking on her own vomit.

Most people just do what works for them within the boundaries of the law.

@teatoast8 many 5 year olds are still RF successfully and comfortably

Your two year old is not 'too long'

Please don't turn her forward facing, the consequences are absolutely not worth the risk, especially below the age of 4. Legal does not mean safe! Mine is still rear facing at age 6 and she'll stay that way until her seat is outgrown in another year or two

I can't imagine turning up to school with an 8 year old, Year 3 child in a rear facing seat.

They'll be ridiculed and it's simply not necessary.

Judgement from who?

Agree 100% and the risk of having a crash increased if the driver is distracted because they cannot see what is going on in the back in a RF seat .
My son had aspiration pneumonia as a baby ( not from this scenario ) and was an extremely ill baby.

lol can you not see the posts here as a starter?

Other parents.

I had my oldest two rear facing until they were too tall as it's the safest. But I've had to turn DC3 forward at 20 months. Facing the rear she would hit DC2 who would retaliate and then there would be a screaming fight EVERY car journey which was majorly distracting.

Im not happy with it but you have to assess the risks and for me this was safer than me being distracted by screaming kids.

It’s a balance of risk. The certainty of vomiting unattended versus the unlikely event of an accident would make me think that rear facing isn’t necessarily the safest choice under these specific set of circumstances. We turned DD forward at the same age, also put her in the middle seat to see out the windscreen and because it’s a safer from a side impact perspective, and it completely stopped the sickness. This was ~6 years ago now so just a normal Britax harnessed seat but if I was doing it now I’d get that Cybex seat with the impact shield and airbag because the safety rating is so good.

I would try a lot more smaller solutions before I resorted to forward facing.

First off, position the seat so that she can't see out of the side window, because that will be the one provoking the sickness. If you can't block it out, then try some of the sunshades that at least limit the view.

Second, try to position the seat so that either she can properly see out of the back window, or can't see the back window at all (depends on the height of the car, size of seat etc.). The former is preferable, because it will enable her to have a fixed point of reference to focus on. You can take the headrest off the rear seat for example.

Third, try to keep her cool and, when you can, time journeys so that she's neither hungry nor full.

I would also consider getting a travel bib/ overall so that any vomit just gets on that, which is popped in the wash after every journey. That was a massive help for us!

Remember that the safest seat in the car is the rear middle. And luckily it's less likely to bring on sickness than either of the rear sides seats - because of being further from the side windows. If you have space (you mentioned another car seat), that would be a good place to move. Front passenger seat rear facing is an option, but it is statistically much more likely to be damaged in a collision than anywhere in the back.