Would you become pregnant at 47 if....

[Noangelbuthavingfun]

*Also posted in pregnancy

You desperately know you've always wanted a 2nd child and it never went away ... tried but failed many times.... would you go for donor eggs and partner sperm and just do it ? Many celebrities do it late into 40s.... its now or never. I'm just thinking you regret the things you never did... aibu to just do it ? Has anyone you know or have you done this ??

Ultimately, this is a choice is for you and your partner and no one else's business.

Well yes, of course it is as many PPs have explicitly said. But the OP asked what WE would do I believe. I won’t lose sleep if someone else decides to become a mum in their late forties but I would if I got a positive test. 😂

Well I'm 47 and actively trying for my 3rd. Probably won't happen but I'm not giving up just yet

good luck xxx

As you say you can lose a parent at age.. as my previous post on here said I had VERY young parents and one of them didn't make it to 60, so my children have grown up without knowing one of their grandparents - so age of your parents is not a guarantee they will see your major life events.

If we all worried about not being around for children, many people would never have children as life does not come with guarantees as you point out. She should not let that impact her decision.

Yes my post here was aimed at the op - trying to encourage her, to not give a rats arse about what people on here think. But yes she did ask for opinions..

No

Not sure. Would have to be in that position.

If we all worried about not being around for children, many people would never have children as life does not come with guarantees as you point out. She should not let that impact her decision.

Of course it should impact your decision somewhat, being much older than typical to have a baby that needs raising until they’re at least 18. I had my last child at 34, something I did and do worry about knowing my own mum died at 58 from an illness. One that incapacitated her for 8 years before she actually passed away. It’s very easy to say ‘oh well it can happy anyone, don’t let that worry you too much’. As parents we should worry what’s realistically on the clock for us, because leaving young children (my youngest sibling was a teenager) is a shit show.

No - what a nightmare. Can't imagine looking after a baby at 47 (I'm 50), let alone being pregnant. But you do you - put your body through the hell that will be IVF etc to make this happen if that's what you need. Maybe explore empty nest syndrome with a therapist quickly and first

No

I disagree one of my very young parents died (not going into detail as it is outing)- younger than yours, you can drop dead any moment...life is not guaranteed - get on with it and live it.

Absolutely not. There's a reason that our eggs have a sell by date.

What does your partner say? Do they agree to their sperm fertilising some unknown's eggs? How would you feel with a child who isn't yours but is your partner's.

No. If this is something you wanted then you should have done it sooner. Why didn't you? I think you should be grateful for the child you have and accept that the child bearing part of your life is over and move on.

The point is it’s more likely to happen the older you get. It’s awful when someone young or younger than average dies, especially when they have children. But it’s also untypical. If you heard someone died at 65/70 you’d think that was very sad and still quite young, but not shocking depending on the illness. But leaving a 15/20 year old behind when most people’s children would be well into adulthood by that age is a different perspective, and should be absolutely considered even if ultimately you’d chose to take the risk. My father was in his 40s when I was born and still going (wasting oxygen) to this day, so obviously it’s not an absolute. But definitely a serious consideration.

No. All the famous people having these babies at 47 make it look so easy but the average woman I really don't think this is a good idea. They have so much more support /money etc.

I had a baby at 47 (we both were) ….. my youngest at that point was 13.

Baby is now a healthy, bright and intelligent 6 year old. It’s not a breeze but it’s not particularly hard either.

Good luck to you whatever you decide x

I think most people yearn for another child. I know we made a decision to stop at 2 but boy do I yearn for another. But economically, my age and fairness to my other children it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.
I actually personally think donor eggs and IVf is very selfish if your own body has told you that you are too old. Natural pregnancy would tell you your body is still fertile.

lots of things for you to consider if you could get pregnant naturally.
-how fit are you?
-could you handle a difficult baby and intense sleepless nights?
-how financially stable? Can you afford a lot more help than first time around?
-how the other child will feel (now and in the future ie would you be able to be a hands on grandparent potentially (if you wanted to be) if you were still raising younger child.
-what provision could you make if something happened to you.

ultimately only you can decide if it will work for you. If you genuinely feel you can do it then I don’t think people telling you no is likely to sway you.

Baby at 45 (donor egg/sperm). Would have loved another if I'd had the money for more treatment.
If that's what you want and are prepared for it not to work then go for it.
Good luck!

I do know of someone in her mid 40s who used a donor egg with partner sperm, for her first and only baby. It’s worked very well for her. Child now maybe 4.

There's literally loads of 70 year olds out there who don't need care!

Good God no. Hopefully my trusty Mirena will stop any scares

Hi OP, as much as I feel for your desperation to have a second child, I really think that 47 is too old . I have friends who had donor eggs/IVF at 48; their children are beautiful but like all young children, require lots of attention and care. They will be in their 60s when the kids are teenagers; I'm not sure that's fair on anyone, despite how active and 'youthful' people are. That always seems to be the counter 'argument'.
You seem to desperately want another to fulfil a need in yourself which isn't healthy.
Please focus on what you have, I agree that counselling might help. Take care

This is my view as well. It’s different if it‘s a happy accident but I would never choose to do it intentionally

Personally, no. I don't think celebrities are a good example of anything to do with parenting - what you see is never the reality of it. I would spend some money on counselling instead. It sounds as if you need some help to mourn the life you didn't have so you can appreciate your current circumstances.

I had older parents - my dad was 50 when I was born - and he was wonderful but it definitely made my life harder and I missed out on loads when I was a child. My DC have had a totally different experience of childhood and it made me realise all that I missed.

47 seems old to have a baby. Certainly wouldn’t want a pregnancy with a donated egg. Perhaps consider fostering or adoption.