I’ve never lived alone

[Cantbearsedbaking]

I’m 46, lived at home until 23, when I went to live abroad with Dh, lived with him since.
Is this a bit pathetic?
I worry in the future if I ever had to live alone, I’d find it hard, I don’t even like when he’s away, although it’s been easier since I had my Dd

Neither have I. I could never afford to live alone. Went from parents to house share to boyfriend to husband. Still couldn’t afford to live alone now should I ever divorce

I think it is important to develop self sufficiency and confidence in your own ability because so many women stay in bad relationships or quickly start new relationships that turn out to be unhealthy because they are afraid to be alone

I think that’s a really important point. So many women think any relationship is better than no relationship, and stay in awful relationships for that reason. It’s empowering to live alone and know you don’t need anyone else. It’s also empowering to live with someone knowing you’re doing it because you want to, not need to.

I'm 48 and I lived alone from 21. Moved into my own house at 28 and didn't live with someone until 29. (Though I'd moved out of home for a year with a bf at 17.)

It taught me a huge amount of independence, and I was and remain proud of owning my own alone at that time.

I did then struggle to share my space, but on reflection that was probably more about the man than the space. Because now DH and I both WFH, and I do miss him now when he's travelling.

I'm 45 and I lived alone officially for less than a year, when I rented flats when I was 18. Also lived in a house with shared bathroom/kitchen, but no communal space for socialising, so I was alone in my room all the time and never spoke to anyone else.
Then I had a DS as a single mum, and I have lived with him since then (and now with DH and more dcs). But he was at weekly boarding school so I had the place to myself for 4 years, at least during the week during term times. I liked having my own space and no other noise. I was the only adult in the house for 14 years. I think it was quite important for me to have that time.

DH has never lived alone (late 40s). He lived with his parents until uni, then in shared houses until we got married and bought a home together. He could have afforded to rent a place to himself instead of house shares, but was determined to save a deposit for a place in London. We have lots of friends our age who have never been able to buy, or at least not as centrally as we have, because all their money went on renting more expensive self-contained places in their 20s/30s.

You'd find a way to cope with living alone if you had to, or you might decide to share with a friend or have a lodger. It is a purely hypothetical situation though; are you perhaps also worried about something else that is closer to home?

Me neither OP. I moved from family home into University halls of residence and then into a flat with a friend. After that, I shared a flat with my brother and then with DH and have lived with him ever since. I do sometimes feel it’s a bit pathetic but it’s just the way life panned out.

I’m not scared of the thought of living alone- although that would mean my OH had died (or left me)- I wouldn’t obviously be happy about either of those, but actually living alone I think would be fine, as long as I had a dog or several dogs (which I absolutely would). I’m not very good at DIY or gardening but hopefully would have enough income to pay someone to help me with those things (or learn some new skills from YouTube!)

I lived alone for 13 years....loved it! If dh died I'd be fine in terms of coping independently
Dd lives alone and probably always will.

Unless you count the year in uni halls, I haven't either.

As a teen I never thought I would be the type to have moved in with future husband at age 22, but I did and was pregnant (on purpose) by 26. I genuinely was a "not till 30 if at all" type of gal before then!

Exactly, I've never lived alone and my mental resilience is absolutely fine.

Why borrow trouble, OP? You've always had someone to live with and that's great, maybe you'll never live alone so no point worrying about it until it happens.

My mum did not until my dad died, and of her generation was not unique in this. The practical side was made a lot easier because my mum knew about all the domestic arrangements such as bank accounts, insurance etc. Make sure you are aware OP if you are not already.

And that both of you have made a will, especially for your DDs sake.

Me neither. Between living at home, various flat shares and being married for 39 years I've never lived alone. Neither has my DH or my adult DC. My DM hadn't either until my DF died 5 years ago. She seems to manage just fine.

I did Uni halls then house share then few months back home and first proper job flat on my own - then few more flats - DH I met at uni but did same in different city with fewer moves till we got ourselves in same place in completely different city.

I much prefer living with others.

DMum living by herself first time ever at 75. DH uncle who never moved out started living by himself at 60 - DH uncle same in his 70s. They've all adjusted.

I'm surprised so many people have never lived alone; I thought it would be the other way around.

I wouldn't worry about it, OP. If you find yourself living alone at some point, you would either cope or you would find a solution.

I think I’m the same. I love the odd 24-36hrs when there’s nobody else here but I wonder how I’d manage long term on my own, half would be amazing and half full of anxiety!

also never lived alone - parents, house share, DH

Nor have I, never could have afforded to. Lived at home, then rented with friends then moved in with DH. I don’t think it’s pathetic at all- it’s not always doable. I think I’d manage fine on my own if I had to.

My neighbour is 74 and has lived alone for about 9years, one of her friends is about to move in with her which I think is lovely!

I don't think I've ever even spent a single night anywhere on my own. 🤷‍♀️

That’s crazy! Have you never had to go away for a night with work? Has your husband ever gone away for a stag night or for work?

I lived on my own for six months and then moved in with bf now DH. I wouldn’t be worrying about something you have no control over. You never know you might love it.

I never have, but never even thought about it until reading this! Always lived in family home, house share or with my now husband. I don't know many people who've actually lived alone, no one could afford that!

I lived alone in flats in my 20s and loved it; it's liberating to have your home to yourself; been married for 25 years but DH does often work away during the week and I can cope with that. I know I could manage if I lived alone again, it's been good experience for that, although I would miss DH. Better to be alone than with someone who makes you miserable though!!

My husband is forces and we live 7 hours from camp. I guess I kind of live alone?

😂😂 That isn't unusual.

I have never lived alone either but I love being on my own. I have grown up dc at home and can't wait to have an empty nest.

Oddly enough that occurred to me just after OH died, I lived at home, went to College and married while I was there, after that I was with OH and subsequent children, then just the two of us and now I live on my own. Fortunately I am very content being on my own.

My late OH had his own room eventually because of his appalling snoring or, as our granddaughter cried to her parents when they stayed, 'there's a monster in the house!'.