I’ve never lived alone

[Cantbearsedbaking]

I’m 46, lived at home until 23, when I went to live abroad with Dh, lived with him since.
Is this a bit pathetic?
I worry in the future if I ever had to live alone, I’d find it hard, I don’t even like when he’s away, although it’s been easier since I had my Dd

Neither have i or dh if you include house shares

ds1 went from home to uni halls to shared uni house to shared house with now husband

dd went from home to shared uni house to shared flats

ds2 went from home to uni halls for one year and then back here because he didn’t like halls

I reckon he will be the first to live by himself

I have also never lived alone and as well as liking company though I do need alone time I love the fact I have always had shared expenses.

I think the majority of people probably haven't lived alone for any real period of time. Even if you don't go straight from living with parents to living with a partner, most people have housemates etc.

The longest period I've ever had alone was when all my housemates went home for a uni Easter holiday and I stayed, so about a month.

For lots of people, the first time they live alone is after a relationship break down / divorce / death of a partner, which must make it even more difficult.

Never having lived alone doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to be self sufficient though. Me and DP have taught each other how to do all the jobs that the other didn't know prior to living together.

And DD will leave home knowing how to change a tire, iron, set up a router correctly. Even if we forget to teach her something, YouTube exists now. I've halved the number of things I need to call in a plumber etc for over the last 10 years because of it.

Neither have I. I’ve been in half a dozen house shares between leaving home and moving in with DH. I could never have afforded to live by myself. Not sure many people starting out in their twenties could.

Neither have I really. I went to uni but lived in a house with 9 other girls so wasn't really alone.

As soon as I left uni I got a house with DH.

I lived alone very happily in my mid 20s for about 5/6 years. Previous to that was house shares and a 2 year stint living alone abroad. I resisted moving in with DH as I was worried about 1)living with someone 2) living with his visiting kids.

Oddly now when he goes away over night I'm more worried in a way I never was when I lived alone. Maybe I'm just older. But having a dog has massively helped with that feeling.

I bloody loved living alone. I miss it sometimes. Doing what you want, when you want.

But I mean I haven’t even lived in a flatshare/uni halls…just straight from parents to an apartment abroad with my dh

It’s probably more common than you think. I’ve never lived alone, DSis hasn’t either and DM only has recently since DF died.

I’ve lived alone, there’s nothing earth shatteringly life changing about it.

Never lived alone either and I don't believe I've missed out on anything. However, I do know that should I ever end up living alone I'll be perfectly fine!

Me too, OP.
BUT… I got a job when the DC were teens that involved foreign travel. Took to being on my own in other Countries like a duck to water! Also got DH to step up regarding caring for DC, and DC to step up regarding being a bit more independent.
That was an education - and now I know I’m ok on my own, if that ever happens…

I've lived alone since I was able to buy my own house, and I LOVE it. There are some downsides (I have to deal with my own spiders, figure out house repairs and who I need etc) but so many upsides for me - all my own space, nobody except me making a mess, peace and quiet whenever I want it, I have a house filled with only stuff I actually want and enjoy, and it's such a safe space to retreat to and enjoy being in.

As for practicalities, you just figure stuff out when you need to. I think you also have to be very happy in your own company, which I am - I love seeing my friends and socialising, but do not want to live with anybody again if I can help it because I relish my own time and space so much.

Given the cost of housing, I'd think it was usual.

OP, I lived for 20 years with my abusive parents, then about two years on my own and currently about twenty years with husband (no kids).
I'm 45 and freaking out that if some nasty illness or whatever gets me, I'll never live on my own again!
It was the best time of my life.
😁

I think its normal for most people.

I think many people move from one multiple people setting to another. I went from home, to uni (a few different shares), back home to moving in with a partner, then kids. I am now the only adult in my home, as much as I adore the kids I won’t lie - I really enjoy being completely alone the nights they’re at their dads. I’d say I’m not worried about a future living fully alone but it will very unlikely happen due to at least one child needing lifelong support. As I get older, my tolerance of sharing space with others my age has pretty much gone. Or maybe having lived with a partner who was more like another kid ruined it for me 🤣.

Neither have I. Moved out of my parents house to live with my boyfriend at seventeen. We're still together and have always lived together. Now we have dc as well.

I think it is important to develop self sufficiency and confidence in your own ability because so many women stay in bad relationships or quickly start new relationships that turn out to be unhealthy because they are afraid to be alone.

I don’t think you need to live alone in order to develop strength, confidence and independence.

But next time your DH is away, don’t leave jobs like lawn mowing or basic appliance maintenance etc until his return. Just do it. YouTube is usually v helpful. Know in detail how all your finances work, take a pro active role in checking best rates for bills and savings.

See yourself as a strong capable equal adult able to meet your child’s needs, not as a fragile woman who needs a man’s protection.

I met DH at uni so have we've always been together; I'm quite capable however. Very few young people can afford to live alone. In spite of a fantastic DH and two lovely, nearly grown DC, I fantasise about living alone for periods and not having to be responsible for anyone else, eating what I like when I like etc.

I don't think it's that uncommon.

After uni I lived in a house share, then with a friend, then another house share, then moved in with DH. A lot of people I know lived with friends or in house shares rather than alone due to finances.

I'm living alone for the first time in 13 years and I absolutely LOVE it.

Being able to do what I want, whenever I want, without having to consider anyone else. Coming and going when I please. Buying whatever I want from my grocery shop. Decorating the house whichever way I like. Nobody else's stuff lying around cluttering up the place

Coming home from work and finding the house in the same lovely clean state I left it in - still gives me an absolute thrill.

I don't think I could ever live with someone ever again!!

I tell myself that if they haven’t broken in in the last 40 years, they’re unlikely to do so now. If all else fails, keep the radio on to drown out those creaks and other noises that are so easy to interpret as footsteps on the stairs. And don’t read disturbing newspaper stories.

I miss having someone to talk to about the trivia of life, that I’ve seen a peacock butterfly, something amusing the cat did, share a joke I saw on Facebook or something more than usually batshit on MN.

Neither have I but I bloody love when I am home alone

Nor me. I'm 55. I don't think its pathetic. I mean, if that's the way your life pans out, you're hardly going to leave your nearest and dearest and get a bed sit on your own just to not miss out on the opportunity to be 'independent' are you? Plus, living with another person doesn't stop you being responsible, self sufficient and independent. You just be all of that with someone else in the house with you.