Friend constantly asking for childcare

[Megssy]

Just need a bit of a rant.

I have a very close friend and I love her dearly, but... she constantly asks for childcare favours. On the occasion I don't mind, but this is super frequent. Because basically she doesn't want to pay childcare . She doesn't just ask me... she asks the whole friendship group.

She's just asked me now if I would walk her son to school one day every week. She knows when I leave for school in the morning and I am currently on maternity leave so have no other commitments.

Aibu to say no? I have just said my 3 year old is being awkward so don't want to commit

If you can’t you can’t, you could maybe say you can do it the odd time but not regularly. Personally I feel sorry for people who ask because I never would so I think people must be desperate. Just because she is nearly mortgage free doesn’t mean she has no debts or financial commitments, and childcare can take up a lot of a wage

I wish I could find the thread - but there was an interesting chat about a year ago on people who ask for favours and what/when is okay. And opinions bifurcated- some people were very much of the opinion “if you don’t ask, you don’t get and it’s fine to ask as people can say no”, whereas others were aware that to ask can make someone feel uncomfortable/that saying no is hard for some people and therefore favours should only be asked in an emergency or of people you are absolutely sure won’t mind. What I took from that was a greater resolve to not let myself feel guilty for saying “no” to things that were for someone else’s convenience at the expense of my own when dealing with people in the first camp. On the most positive interpretation, this is where the OP’s friend lies. She sees no harm in asking? Then she should see no harm in your saying no.

I disagree stayathomer people like this tend to take take take without shame and that's how they end up mortgage free... sponging and relying on people being too polite to say no.

If her child is 6, what did she do last school year? Does the school have a breakfast club? Can her partner not start his self-employed job after the school run?

Sounds like you just want a bitch about her tbh.

Don’t be silly. She doesn’t need help; she’s using you and everyone else who lets her.

And? It's what a good % of people use this platform for.

I'd be bitching about her too if she was my 'friend'

Wow. If I was her and knew what you had on your shoulders I wouldn't have the audacity to ask for favours, especially consistently. You're on mat leave to look after your own responsibilities fgs tell her to get lost and stop being lazy! You won't get this time back once you go back to work so be more selfish with your time and keep it for your own kids. Also, the more you say yes, the more you'll get asked.. give an inch and all that..

This

What an unpleasant response

Sounds like that poster is the CF.

Unfortunately there are takers in life. Not everyone who asks for help actually needs it.
You already have a lot on, some friend adding on to that.
What happens when your child is ill, extra admin letting her know or arranging for somone else to cover you.
Such people have zero feelings about you.
Genuine friends want what's best for you.

So offended

Stop been jealous. She asked u said yes. Say no next time.

Actually I think OP said no. And good on her!

Just keep saying no. And don't give a reason. Just repeat "sorry can't do it" and change subject. She's the type that will pester you forever if you give an inch, and will find counter arguments to every reason/excuse you give. And if you start helping her regularly, it's difficult to stop because she'll guilt trip you forever.
If need be, try to distance yourself entirely.