Should I mention this to school or mind my own business?

[GreasyChipButty]

I took my son and dog for a walk to the park yesterday evening and as we approached, a little girl said she knew my son and they are in the same class. My son is 4 and he is in reception.

The little girl was with an older girl around 7 for about 5 minutes before the older girl left, leaving the 4 year old completely on her own.

I let them play for a while, thinking someone would be along to get her but no one came.

I said we are leaving the park now, and would she like me to walk her home. She said no thank you.

The park sits completely opposite some houses, there is a road inbetween though. I assumed she lived in one of those but as I changed direction in order to ensure she got home safe, she lived some distance from the park.

Now, is it just me or is this batshit? Allowing your 4 year old to go to the park on their own and cross 2 roads to get there?

I watched her walk back into her house but couldn't help but think how easy it would have been for someone to just scoop her up and take her away. The world we live in nowadays is not safe for this to be happening. Or am I behind with the times, and it is actually fine to let a 4 year old walk a short distance to a park.

I mentioned it in work and people are telling me I should tell the school! I am not a busy body but at the same time, I do wonder if anything is going on at home for this to happen, seems like neglect to me but of course I could be wrong.

Just wondering what others think?

It was entirely normal until very recently... did you NOT go out as a child under 10.

You have imposed a wildly made up number on it but that doesn't make you right, people are capable of judging their own children's abilities and SS agree with that stance hence there being no legal age.

Go on your local council website and report a safeguarding concern.
Unfortunately this could just be one element of a bigger picture for this little girl.

This! Every report builds a picture of the child’s lived experiences. 100% report to DSLs at school. It needs to be recorded, it’s neglect.

I would mention it to school. It sounds like they left the older child in charge of the 4 year old, but that's also not acceptable.

I know at our primary an older child wasn't allowed to bring a younger sibling in with them - ie someone in year 6. Not as young as you are saying here!

I initially thought no don’t tell the school but this comment made me change my mind. Mention it to them.

Absolutely mention it. I work in a school and it is drummed into us as staff, that 'safeguarding is everyone's responsibility'. Don't give personal opinion, just fact, to the school. It's then up to them to raise a concern with a parent and/or log it. In my personal opinion a 4 year old shouldn't be out on their own without an adult. It makes no difference if the park is next to the child's house or 5 streets away, the child is completely unsupervised. Children at that age are very trusting and see no danger.

When did you last do safeguarding training?

You must tell the school. Please. What you saw may not seem like a massive deal but it may be part of a bigger picture.

Exactly!
OP, I would definitely report to school.

She’s 4! Of course you call the bloody school, that’s the very least you do, you should actually call social services to investigate and if that happens again the police so she is safe and not left to walk home on her own.

Evidently more recently than you.

This (on its own) will not remotely be classed as serious neglect.
If this is the only issue you'd be lucky to even get a home visit.

The correct thing is still to report it, but let's be realistic when posting.

It may be the area she works in but one of my SILs has had to catch out parents doing things like this (and worse). Most of the initial reports come from neighbours.

"can not take their" means one primary school child is in charge of the other primary school child. If they are same or about 2 years difference in age they can keep each other company but one isn't in charge of the other.

BTW all that happens in most cases is that they get a talking to about why it isn't a good idea and what crap they will end up in if anything goes wrong.

@YOOHOOITSMEEE if the kid didn't go to school or the school was unknown then it is likely the OP would be report it to the police. It's a case of the OP reporting to an agency/service who would then report onwards to social services.

I'd mention it to the school yes as no 4 y/o should be on their own. But there is no more chance of her being abducted these days than there would have been, say, 50 years ago so you're wrong to think the world is more dangerous in that respect

Apparently it is to some posters.

The only reason it's less safe these days is because of more traffic. I'm assuming that's what you mean

You're wrong. I once reported a boy in my dd's class to the school for his threatening behaviour towards my dd in the park after school. The headteacher took it very seriously and dealt with it

That would have to be in the last two weeks to be more recently than me. Plenty of serious things do not reach the threshold on their own. When I said serious neglect I meant serious in the sense that there’s no maybe about whether or not you should report it.

But that is not what you said.

I agree, and have said constantly, it needs reporting.

But in itself it is miles away from 'serious neglect' hysterics do not help anyone.

But even that isn't true. There is more traffic but there are less pedestrian injury and death.

Unless OP knows the child's full name, address and contact details for the parents it is more helpful to contact the school in the first instance as they will be able to provide MASH with all the information they need to complete their lateral checks. The school may also have other, relevant information to add to a referral. OP can ask the school not to mention her name in any discussions with the child's parents if that's a concern.

as soon as a child leaves the school gates then that's it, it should be nothing to do with the school

You are entitled to your opinion but the law does not agree with you and neither does anyone who has any expertise in Child Protection.

Schools have a statutory responsibility to safeguard children from all forms of abuse and neglect and safeguarding legislation makes very clear that this relates to harm that occurs not just in school, but in the home and elsewhere in the community.

Schools are not, and don't aspire to be, "in charge of everything". We work closely with the Police, Health and Social Services because Child Protection requires a multi-agency approach and each agency has to play their part to avoid things being missed and children falling through the cracks. These agencies contact us when they have concerns about children because they know our staff have a vital role to play in identifying and responding to CP concerns. We are the ones who see the children every day and so children who are being abused or neglected are more likely to make disclosures to school staff than they are to their GP for example or a random Police Officer they have never met before.

It's not about control, it's about protecting children from abuse which is the most important thing that happens in any educational setting and something I've dedicated my professional life to. Sadly, for some children, school is their only safe place. For some children, Teaching and support staff are the only adults in their lives who listen to them and respond to their needs. For a small minority of children, they are the only adults in their lives who don't physically harm them. That's not right and its not palatable but for some children it's the absolute truth.

i don't get why so many grown adults think schools are in charge

No one thinks schools are 'in charge' but they are the people and place most families have the most contact with outside of the immediate family unit.

If the OP, or anyone else, notifies the LA or police regarding a concern, schools will be notified/contacted anyway.

Some people prefer to contact schools because it feels less heavy handed than to contact the police or SS directly.

Another teacher here, absolutely tell the school.

I have reported to the school. The email has been forwarded to the headteacher.