Should I mention this to school or mind my own business?

[GreasyChipButty]

I took my son and dog for a walk to the park yesterday evening and as we approached, a little girl said she knew my son and they are in the same class. My son is 4 and he is in reception.

The little girl was with an older girl around 7 for about 5 minutes before the older girl left, leaving the 4 year old completely on her own.

I let them play for a while, thinking someone would be along to get her but no one came.

I said we are leaving the park now, and would she like me to walk her home. She said no thank you.

The park sits completely opposite some houses, there is a road inbetween though. I assumed she lived in one of those but as I changed direction in order to ensure she got home safe, she lived some distance from the park.

Now, is it just me or is this batshit? Allowing your 4 year old to go to the park on their own and cross 2 roads to get there?

I watched her walk back into her house but couldn't help but think how easy it would have been for someone to just scoop her up and take her away. The world we live in nowadays is not safe for this to be happening. Or am I behind with the times, and it is actually fine to let a 4 year old walk a short distance to a park.

I mentioned it in work and people are telling me I should tell the school! I am not a busy body but at the same time, I do wonder if anything is going on at home for this to happen, seems like neglect to me but of course I could be wrong.

Just wondering what others think?

A 4 year old unsupervised ? Really? It would definitely point towards neglect. That child could be run over very easily.

Which country are you in?

The age here would depend on the area, the traffic and how sensible the child is.

Each country has their own social norms.

So I am aware in Japan that it is ok for kids to walk to and from school on their own from a very young age, but it isn't in the England until kids are 10 at the earliest and there no big roads to cross. (Other parts of the UK are different.)

Then again I am aware that in the England you could leave a 10 year old in a playground playing with friends, as long as they weren't small for their age/it wasn't getting dark/etc and no-one would bat an eyelid. However in the US you would be done for neglect.

I know but there you go 🤷‍♂️

Yes!

Are you sure she is 4?
Could your son know her from school but she is in an older class / class that they have mixed ages like afterschool club or choir ect or even be in the younger class for some reason - if she is at the park on her own and can roller skate well maybe she is 7ish which if the parents can see the park form there house would not be unusual?

I don’t think it would be ignored certainly not by SS.

OP pls report it in directly to social services via your MASH helpline. You can make an online report or phone helpline.

I didn't mention social services?

Switzerland. Here it is very much the norm, children are taught how to cross roads safely by the police and adults know that children are walking around alone so there is probably
more of a village mentality where you keep an eye out on other children

Yes it’s interesting how it is so different from country to country and the way different children respond to that. Our DC loves the independence here but I have friends whose children refuse to walk to shcool
alone and that is really looked down on past the age of 5 or 6!

Ahh I see.

Yes, children are taught to cross the roads safely here too, but allowing a 4 year old out to roam the streets would be seen as neglect here for a multitude of reasons, that don't involve traffic.

My DD could roller skate well at 4.

That's because DP put them on her feet when she was 2.5 and was shocked that she moved in them like it was normal to have them on her feet.

Tell the school. Safeguarding is EVERYONES concern.

Tell the school. Just send an email. It builds a bigger picture. She may be the child who comes to school without breakfast etc it can help if they already have concerns.

Yes I didn’t mean children aren’t taught to cross the road! I also am English and was taught to cross the road as a child. More just here that the expectation is that children are expected to walk alone from 4 or 5. I’m not sure I think it’s a good thing necessarily but just how things are here so I wonder how it’ll be for our DC when we move home

I’m amazed that currently 7% of MN readers think it’s ok for a four-year-old to be in a park on her own, presumably where none of her family could see her.

Yes 100% tell school. Wouldn't be letting my child in a park I could see from my house at 4 without me.

There are 4 year olds wandering our estate on their own. I absolute hate it and always encourage them to go closer to their home if I see them out. Unfortunately their parents don't give a shit and as their 6 children are clean and fed and as yet unharmed, no-one really cares.

The school won't do anything, they will tell you to report to social services.

My daughter has just turned 11 and is walking to/from school for the first time on her own, crossing two roads. I feel uneasy and often watch her walking home on a tracking app on my phone!

4…. Batshit. Crossing roads wearing rollerskates….. completely and utterly batshit.

If in doubt always report it. School safeguarding leads keep files on children - one incident might mean nothing, but by building up a picture of many small concerns it can shine a light on the bigger picture.

I always ask myself - how would I feel if I didn’t report it and then heard next week that a four year old girl on rollerskates had been run over by a car. I would never forgive myself if I had a concern for a child, did nothing and then the worst happened.

Roads are much safer now than in any time in UK history (bar COVID, as no cars)

I would report to the school but I'm not sure anyone can do anything about it (a kid is not going to get taken into care for this)

I'd report to Social Services myself if you know her address, I'd also mention to the school but I'd want to make sure that it was definitely reported to Social Services and as you witnessed it, your account is the best. Thank you for watching her home 💗

My kids primary school takes safeguarding concerns very seriously. I doubt any school in 2024 would do nothing.

My child told me something about a child in their class that I found a bit concerning. I emailed the safeguarding lead and then about an hour later I had a phone call from both the Safeguarding Lead and Headteacher of the school. Asked me for a full account of what my child had overheard.

Depends where you move to.

There have been some interesting threads on MN on how batshit some primary schools in England are.

There are schools that are shit.