Should I mention this to school or mind my own business?

[GreasyChipButty]

I took my son and dog for a walk to the park yesterday evening and as we approached, a little girl said she knew my son and they are in the same class. My son is 4 and he is in reception.

The little girl was with an older girl around 7 for about 5 minutes before the older girl left, leaving the 4 year old completely on her own.

I let them play for a while, thinking someone would be along to get her but no one came.

I said we are leaving the park now, and would she like me to walk her home. She said no thank you.

The park sits completely opposite some houses, there is a road inbetween though. I assumed she lived in one of those but as I changed direction in order to ensure she got home safe, she lived some distance from the park.

Now, is it just me or is this batshit? Allowing your 4 year old to go to the park on their own and cross 2 roads to get there?

I watched her walk back into her house but couldn't help but think how easy it would have been for someone to just scoop her up and take her away. The world we live in nowadays is not safe for this to be happening. Or am I behind with the times, and it is actually fine to let a 4 year old walk a short distance to a park.

I mentioned it in work and people are telling me I should tell the school! I am not a busy body but at the same time, I do wonder if anything is going on at home for this to happen, seems like neglect to me but of course I could be wrong.

Just wondering what others think?

Why didn't you call the police / escort her home / stay with her?

As the child wasn't lost or distressed, a call to 101 would be way down the list of priorities for a massively stretched police force.

As you probably read, the OP offered to escort her home and the little girl said 'No thank you'. What was the OP supposed to do, drag her out of the park?

Perhaps the OP was unable to stay with the girl, as she had other things to do?

Definitely mention it to the school. It could be one piece of a larger picture - although even by itself it doesn't sound acceptable.

As adults we have a duty to safeguard all children. It's best to err on the side of caution by reporting it than just leaving it. It could have been benign like she slipped out and her parents were unaware she had escaped right down to being neglected. Far too many children have been overlooked by members of the public and might still be here today had someone stepped in.

I remember a thread like this a little while back, just makes you think how many times this is happening! I’d report it personally and flag for the DSL but be matter of fact in your email and leave them to action to it :)

As the child wasn't lost or distressed, a call to 101 would be way down the list of priorities for a massively stretched police force

The child is 4. Of course the police would prioritise.

No further explanation needed.

Rule of thumb:
If you’re worrying about if you should report something or not: you definitely should report it.

Definitely let the school know, DD is 9 and I don't let her go to the park behind our house on her own. In fact we talked about it at the weekend, she wants to be allowed to go and I've said no. She is sensible but it's not her I'm concerned about.

why school? you saw the child out of school, you know the address the child walked too.. ring social services!

100% report it to the school.

My 5 year old doesn't like being downstairs by himself when I'm upstairs let alone at a park by himself

Id definitely email it factually - that your son identified her as being in reception with him, she was alone, she then walked home crossing two roads alone. I'd say something like given the age of the child, you thought this was worth raising as a safeguarding concern and thought the school may wish to be made aware. I wouldnt give anymore of an opinion in your report to the school - just keep it straight.

But it's batshit, DD is almost 4 and we know a lot of reception aged children and I dont know anyone who would think that's appropriate or safe. Id be concerned about kidnapping absolutely - but agree with PPs that the more immediate/bigger risks are road safety (they are not old enough to cross a road totally alone let alone two) and actually who else might be at the park. It wouldn't be inconceivable for a situation to occur where she is exposed to something inappropriate for her age, assuming the park is frequented by older kids etc. Can't work out the judgement of the parents here, so assume this is a part of a bigger picture.

Was the other child her sister? Was she meant to stay with her? Although she wasn't very old either.

This is insane. I wouldn't even take my eyes off my 4 year old if I was in the same playground

Definitely mention it to school, I had the same dilemma quite a few years ago and did mention something I saw. It turned out there was a bigger picture and my comments added to their information.
In instances like this I think it's always better to regret what you did say rather than what you didn't, if it was innocent then that's fine too.

Now, is it just me or is this batshit? Allowing your 4 year old to go to the park on their own and cross 2 roads to get there?

She isn't at risk of kidnap but at great risk of being run over especially wearing roller skates. However good she is on them there will be circumstances where she will lose balance and fall over, and this could be in the middle of a road she is crossing with a driver who didn't see her or doesn't care.

I have had to repeatedly explain to my own DD6 that she can't be seen from cars and other larger vehicles as she is too short, even though she has grown since I first told her as a 3 year old.

This. There could be a situation or issues which the school knows about and can flag up. Unfortunately when people are vulnerable things can escalate quickly.

Report. Ignore anyone who says it's not your business. Child protection is everybody's business.

I would absolutely flag it up with the school. Poor child.

I just came across this post and am really interested what age people would feel comfortable letting their children go to a playground this sort of distance away on their own? We live abroad where children walk to school alone at age 4/5 and would definitely be walking or cycling to playgrounds with friends or by themselves at age 6. We’re planning a move back home to the UK so interested what would be the norm!

I used to go walking on my own from about age 5. In the 1950’s!
It’s really not safe these days.

It’s possible that she somehow got out of her house while her parents weren’t looking and they were frantic with worry!

Are you in Switzerland by any chance?

You should report directly into social services via the MASH team. No need to go via school.

Definitely contact the school. Find out who the DSL is on their website and mark the email for their attention.

Good point!

No they wouldn't.

There are plenty of 4 year old kids who are allowed to the park and to wander round housing estates and streets.

If she was still there by the time they eventually got there, they'd probably ask where she lives and have a word with the parents, but there would certainly be no priority in this case.