Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

I'd say it's similar to the kind of shit cis het white men get in some circles - it's mean and unacceptable but it's not accompanied by the kind of societal discrimination that comes with being say a black trans woman.

I have had the same said about me. I’m not that thin so I took it as a joke.

How skinny is skinny in the context of this thread?

If you read what else that poster wrote, you'd see what she's experienced:

I'm pretty sure most skinny people won't have been screamed at in public places about how if they weren't so fat, they wouldn't need disabled parking. Or sworn at in restaurants because they dared to eat in public. Constantly laughed at and targeted by abuse from completely random strangers, vile language, assuming I'm thick, that I smell, that my house is unclean, that I don't shower, that I'm greedy and gluttonous and lazy. Shortlisted for jobs, then see them given to someone else with less experience and qualifications, because once they saw me they decided I was too fat for the role. Not being able to get clothes on the high street. And many other instances

I found reading her post was very moving. I also think comment made to you about disappearing if you turn sideways was rude and unwarranted and I don't think that person had a right to comment on your body.

But when you say the grass isn't greener, I think if I have to compare the two experiences that it seems like the grass is a bit greener actually. Even if all the grass in question is pretty awful and needs a lot of improvement.

I think there is a subtle nuance that you are failing to grasp with the term "skinny-shaming". It isn't that you necessarily feel shame, it is that someone is telling you that you should.

Okay point taken re grass.

Being anything shamed however, is unacceptable.

People can be such arseholes. The number of times I’ve been called “skinny bitch” and I’m supposed to not be upset by that??

Yet if I’d turned around to some who’d said it and called them “fat bitches” I’m the one who would have been in trouble. Fucking bullshit.

That I can completely agree with. Women's bodies shouldn't be fair game for everyone's opinions.

Neither is acceptable!!!

Bullying is not ok, in any way!!

What the fuck is wrong with you all??? So because some people have faced worse bullying, it doesn’t matter that I’ve faced a lifetime of it too? It’s not a fucking competition.

BULLYING IN ANY FORM IS NOT OK. Fat, skinny, short, tall, whatever. It’s not ok!

I have a rule in life that I will never mention somebody’s weight or fertility situation. I will only make a comment if explicitly asked eg someone who has been on a diet and speaks happily about their successful weight loss. I have passed that message down to my adult children.

Life would be much easier if people didn’t make personal comments. And of course weight should just be a health issue, not a moral or cosmetic one.

You are slim and healthy and people will try to drag you down because they are not happy with themselves and are resentful. It is really horrible but it is how people are. One thing you can take comfort in is that you will probably live longer and have less joint problems than the bullies.

I got it from adults as a kid. "Don't they feed you at home?", "should get some meat on those bones". I was a healthy weight - at the bottom end of the healthy bracket, but definitely in it.

It's not limited to humans. A few people have commented that my cat looks thin. Vet says that he's an optimal weight for an active 1 year old and that people are just used to overweight cats these days.

Okay. Well a fat person telling me that wouldn’t hurt my feelings, I don’t think. I’d just think, well a fat person is jealous of me, of course they are, because being fat is very crap compared to being slim. I’m lucky and they’re unlucky. Indeed I have had “skinny bitch” type comments in the distant past if I think about it, but said fondly/enviously. It’s obviously a kind of praise.

If someone said I looked sick or whatever, of course I would think the person was rude, and dislike them. They shouldn’t do it. But I imagine the emotional experience of a fat person being called fat is completely different.

Someone posted earlier about covert eating disorder indulgence on MN. The OP posting all those pics of her (perfectly nice, normal, slim body) is setting off alarm bells for me and I think it might be something to do with that.

The first sentence of this 💯 I think this is the difference between fat and skinny shaming, that skinny shaming is routed on how other people feel about themselves but fat shaming is like a societal thing that being overweight is not acceptable.

Either way people should keep their mouths shut, people’s body size isn’t fair game for comments or criticism.

Been on the receiving end myself of comments about me being too slim and it’s fucking annoying. Currently pregnant with my second child and it hasn’t stopped people 🙄 you start to wonder what the correct way to look actually is!!!

I’m a similar shape to you OP but with a more sticky-out bottom. My BMI is 21.6

I have always been this shape and size, now aged 59. I work in healthcare. Often if I’m trying to address the weight / diet of my fatter patients they will say something like “it’s alright for you. You’re really skinny”

I’m not, obviously. I’m a healthy weight. I love cooking and eating but proper food and hardly ever have snacks. I have reduced carbs and portions as I’ve got older but by following my appetite more than trying to restrict intake.

The fact that the poster has assumed that the slim person is healthier is exactly what fat shaming is. Slim doesn’t guarantee health.

I would like the posters on here who claim their feelings have been really hurt by this to say if they actually feel good about being thin. I bet almost all of them do.

That’s the difference between fat and skinny shaming. Fat shaming is like making fun of someone for having acne. Skinny shaming is like making fun of someone for having too-nice skin.

Fat shaming carries actual shame. It is highlighting how you fall short of the ideal. Skinny “shaming” is only highlighting how you meet the ideal. A lot of thin people will actually feel good if someone comments on their thinness. A fat person never will.

I have a lot of empathy for fat people. I don’t understand how people who are more fortunate can find it in themselves to get really worked up about comments clearly coming from a place of deep hurt.

This is a thread about skinny shaming. It’s not a competition about which is worse. Both are unacceptable.

the OP hasn’t said skinny shaming is so much worse than fat shaming. Yet other people keep jumping on the post and making it into some kind of competition.

Re read the first post of the thread. She actually asked if she was unreasonable to say skinny shaming is as bad as fat shaming. It's been a comparison thread from the start. She introduced the comparison and asked for people's thoughts. Don't berate people for answering the OP's question!

I have a lot of empathy for fat people. I don’t understand how people who are more fortunate can find it in themselves to get really worked up about comments clearly coming from a place of deep hurt.

It is a shame that you cannot extend your range of empathy to include those slim people, who have outlined on this thread how being commented on because of their size has caused them pain as well. Have you read through the whole thread? If you have, and you still feel like this, then that is a shame. Slim, or skinny people should not have to endure horrible comments coming from others, because they have a problem with their own size. That is their problem to deal with. We are not punch bags.

I totally identify. I was naturally skinny as a child through to adulthood. School was awful with the bullying and resentment. I want to be skinny, but not as skinny as you! Bra less! Chimp! Slimmers disease!
Being the last girl to get periods or develope any kind of womanly curves. My mum and nan having to to adjust any clothes on a sewing machine because nothing fit me. I had zero self esteem. In adulthood it wasn't much better. I got greeted by other women with I hate you, you're so skinny! Thanks! Nice to meet you too!! And the assumption that my life must be easy and perfect because I had achieved some kind of unobtainable perfection that was inaccessible to mere mortals. Being a certain idealised weight does not mean the rest of your life just falls into place. No kind of bullying, personal remarks or rudeness is OK!

I have empathy for unusually skinny people who are mocked for it, of course.

Size 8 women - I just don’t believe they are actually hurt by such comments in a real way. Sorry, I just don’t. I think they are being drama llamas, trying to draw attention to the fact they are slim, and trying to get pity for something no reasonable person would pity them for. I know it feels good to be slim. They know it too, whatever they pretend.

So no, I don’t have empathy for people like that. I find them annoying and they are not the kind of person I like.

Exactly

Your real feelings laid bare. Oh well. I just hope that you keep your contemptuous feelings to yourself, in real life.

If been on both sides. I was really skinny as a child, and up to being around 30. Now I’m more on the fat side.

I have friends bigger than me who don’t eat in public because they are judged (I’ve seen it).

Whilst skinny shaming might be tiresome (I once had a Dr rudely ask me whether I was anorexic), it may not have the huge psychological impact that fat shaming does, which only serves to perpetuate the issue, as eating becomes a secretive, shameful activity.

posters on here who claim their feelings have been really hurt

I don’t understand how people who are more fortunate can find it in themselves to get really worked up about comments

I am sorry that you have selective and conditional empathy. Not everybody has the emotional intelligence to see things from the point of view of others.

You are of that black and white school, ‘if I am ok with it, everybody should be’.