Asking parents to refinance home for him?!

[RosesandRainbows]

My boyfriend (mid40’s) is in a financial pickle. He is in serious debt (we’re talking multiple thousand of pounds a month repayments) and can’t even pay his rent or child maintenance at the moment. He is due some large payments from previous contracts that are dragging along and should (if they do at all) get paid out in the next 6 months or so.

He has asked his parents to remortgage their house to help him out of this hole until he finally gets some money to pay them back, pay his debts back and then have some money left over to live off of. They have agreed!

Am I the only one that thinks this is madness from them to equity release - at great cost- to help him out with no guarantee that he will actually be able to pay them back. Or am I a heartless b*tch?

What's madness is that you are still with him.

This actually makes me feel sick. I'd be finishing it immediately. There is no future with someone like this.

This is all very valid!

I can’t imagine choosing to find my own champagne lifestyle over supporting my children. He is essentially spending money on himself that isn’t essential and taking that from his children and his ex.

Its true, it’s his fault he’s in such a mess (not that he would admit it) but relying on elderly parents to temporarily bail him out and potentially get them into serious debt or at the very least rob the siblings of an inheritance by stealth, is absurd.

However I can’t make the parents do anything as they are under his spell. I, on the other hand, am not…

Not one person has said that it’s a good idea. It’s good to know I’m still making total sense at my age and not a soulless cow for thinking it’s morally wrong what he’s doing.

He sounds awful

Find a new fella op

This is incredibly selfish of him and in your shoes I'd be walking away. He could lose his parents their HOME! He needs to call his creditors and declare his finances and ask for breathing space to sort out the money he is owed.

If any of my children are reading this: FORGET IT.

YANBU OP.

Ugh.

Dump him - and somehow drop them a line telling them not to do it, that he's taking them for a ride and he will never pay it back.

They almost certainly won't listen but your conscience is then clear, you've done what you reasonably can do.

Bigger red flag to me is him having children and not paying maintenance. You don't need someone like this in your life, run fast

@RosesandRainbows after you dump him. I would let the mother of the children know that he has come into money.

I would lose respect for someone who did this and I would go as far as to warenhuis parents that this is a very big risk and should only do so if they are prepared to be severely financially disadvantaged. He’s probably sold it as a temporary cash flow problem when actually it’s poor money management.

Why on Earth are you entertaining this person let alone allowing access to your nether regions?