Would you find this comment rude?

[Winterrush]

I went to a family event on Saturday and my younger cousin (22) made a comment that I thought was rude, but maybe I'm just being sensitive. Please let me know your thoughts.

For context, I had a rubbish time in school, I was bullied for years and ended up bunking off half the time. I don't even remember taking any exams but I must have and obviously didn't get very good grades. I chose not to go to college/university and went straight into a full time job instead. I've always worked and been sensible with money/saved up for things and supported myself without any family help.

My cousin is very intelligent, good grades in school and is currently in university. She worked part time for a couple of months last year but apart from that her parents have supported her financially. Holidays, clothes, phones, driving lessons and they bought her a car when she passed her test. She's spoilt (her mother's words, not mine).

Anyway, I own a 10 year old BMW that wasn't expensive (compared to what a lot of people pay for cars nowadays) but as the previous owner modified it and had it wrapped it does look newer. She must have seen my car and said to me "How is it that I went to school and got grades, yet you're the one driving round in a BMW". She caught me off guard so I didn't say anything, but wish I'd said "because I work". So because I didn't get good grades in school I can't have anything nice, that's how I took it anyway.

Would this piss you off?

Think you may need to look up the definition of Sarcasm.....

She's a twat. Your subsequent posts show how much of a twat she is. She clearly thinks she is better than a lot of people and therefore entitled to things or a lifestyle they shouldn't have, seeing as they are not as smart/pretty as her but life will teach her to know better. Let's hope she learns a bit of humility. But the Christmas story is so awful, I would personally drop her. She certainly wouldn't be welcome to come into my home and insult me like that.

Yep, she’s jealous and rude.
If she says things like this again, be ready to hit back. “Well Flowerpot, this is how it works. I go out to work in a good job, work hard and earn the money that paid for my car. Your wonderful grades have nothing to do with my earnings. OK?”

She sounds a bit dim, despite her education. Seems odd her mum would say she's spoilt because that's down to the parents surely.

Sounds like you are doing well in your life and if you're happy that's what matters. It's never too late to go back to education if you want to. Everyone I know who was a 'mature student' made much more of their opportunities.

Probably was a bit bitchy, but just brush it off.

I think her message was probably misconstrued. She meant that despite not going to uni and following the traditional route, you've still done alright for yourself.

Of course it would bother people. But bother you in a way that is frustrating rather than offended as it says a lot more about her than it does about you. She's a brat, her opinion is irrelevant. But I see why it wound piss you off

And yet here I am, killing it 😊. You've worked hard, don't listen.

It's rude, but expected from a 22YO who knows everything and has experienced nothing.

Youth really is wasted on the young

I think you’re over reacting. She’s young and it’s a bit of a daft comment but it’s sort of on the same lines as “someone’s doing alright”. She knows you tanked school but is probably not wise enough to realise the full extent to why. So is probably making a bit of a sly dig at you being a truant/sciver etc.

Yes it was rude but I’d say she’s a thoughtless little gobshite with no social skills or life experience, rather than someone deliberately trying to be cruel or unkind.
You could have said something at the time like ‘because I’ve worked hard and exams aren’t everything’. But I’d let it go now.

I would avoid ger in any future family events. If she does everything come out with something similar again just say we'll I work my mother and father don't support me mic drop walk away.

Yes it would, being spoilt and book smart doesn't account for financial and personal independence and sometimes not going to university and working hard like you and me gets you the things you want quicker.

As for the it's OK no it's not she's being a cheeky bitch she's literally assuming she should have better then you. Maybe you should say well save the fuck up then. Nah that's not jokey that's cheeky and all this jokes it's just comments that people wanna say but passive aggressive

This.
I was about to say the same , she's emotionally immature, give her that one, maybe next time pull her up

It’s very rude and a backhanded type of ‘compliment’ loaded with ‘you shouldn’t have expensive things’.

This wouldn’t bother me, but your cousin does sound very naive if she hasn’t figured out that you earn money by working. She just sounds quite immature.

"Maybe when you're a grown up you'll learn how I got these things" !!!! And always said with a huge grin on your face. Be ready for any future comments, but otherwise don't let it bother you for a single second.... just relish in the fact you're under her skin. Well done you !!!! Great achievements.

It’s a rude comment, but mostly ignorant and shows her age and sheltered life to date.

She’s likely had the mantra ingrained that if you do well at school, go to uni, and get a good degree, is THE way to be successful in life, especially financially.

Obviously, that’s not true at all, but her life exposure has been limited. Seeing your success has probably opened her eyes and her mind a little. I doubt she meant to be unkind. Just naive.

I'd assume she's got jealousy issues and get on with my day. Well done to you for working hard and earning yourself the things you need/want.

Lol, she'll be waiting a long time for an expensive car then if the wants to work in film or TV. If she finds works at all she'll be working very sporadic long days for not much above minimum wage. If she puts out princess or 'better than you' vibes she won't even be doing that!

The richest people I know didn't 'go to school' they worked their way up through hard work in the real world and are in sort after 'necessary' fields. No one desperately needs a Art Historian or someone with a MA in Shakespearean Literature but people will pay a lot for an emergency plumber, mechanic or locksmith.

Many I know who went to uni also do NOT work in their degree field and have jobs they could have had unqualified. I know a lawyer with a top law degree who works as a receptionist with her friend (who did not go to uni) because law was stressful and she hated it etc...

I got bullied horrifically too and got average GCSE (not 'good' but not terrible just mid plane average mostly Cs and Ds) and completely skipped college completely but went to uni at 21 to study a medical course.

I actually got chosen over people who went to college and had great A levels. Many in my class where in their 20s as they deferred from not getting in in previous years (very few teen A level grads got accepted straight in) and had then went and got volunteer experience before being accepted so I wasn't wildly older than others either.

They said they choose real life and work experience every time as it stands out among hundreds of people with the same exam results. I however do not work in my degree field either and even though you have to be licensed (so not a job most can do) if I did work in the field I would be overworked and not be rich because NHS pay is quite shit.

The words themselves aren't rude at all. In fact it could be a compliment of sorts.

I guess the tone would be able to define if its rude or not.

She' probably also had it drummed into her all her life that working hard at school etc and getting top grades means success and she's realising that's not necessarily how it goes.

I'd find it hard to be offended by a flippant comment of a 22 year old who's yet to make their way in life.

She has no clue as mum and dad have paid for everything. Yoh have a BMW that you worked and paid for . She is being a brat ignore her 🙄

I wouldn't have been best pleased if that was said to me but I would be pleased that she was jealous,for me it would have been a whoop whoop moment....ignore it let it wash over your head and enjoy your motor