Would you find this comment rude?

[Winterrush]

I went to a family event on Saturday and my younger cousin (22) made a comment that I thought was rude, but maybe I'm just being sensitive. Please let me know your thoughts.

For context, I had a rubbish time in school, I was bullied for years and ended up bunking off half the time. I don't even remember taking any exams but I must have and obviously didn't get very good grades. I chose not to go to college/university and went straight into a full time job instead. I've always worked and been sensible with money/saved up for things and supported myself without any family help.

My cousin is very intelligent, good grades in school and is currently in university. She worked part time for a couple of months last year but apart from that her parents have supported her financially. Holidays, clothes, phones, driving lessons and they bought her a car when she passed her test. She's spoilt (her mother's words, not mine).

Anyway, I own a 10 year old BMW that wasn't expensive (compared to what a lot of people pay for cars nowadays) but as the previous owner modified it and had it wrapped it does look newer. She must have seen my car and said to me "How is it that I went to school and got grades, yet you're the one driving round in a BMW". She caught me off guard so I didn't say anything, but wish I'd said "because I work". So because I didn't get good grades in school I can't have anything nice, that's how I took it anyway.

Would this piss you off?

I agree it's rude. Cheeky bitch!

Can't say I would be pissed off about it though. More amused with raised eyebrows.

It wouldn't bother me and tbh I'm a little like your cousin in that I went to uni and got a degree etc but am skint as fuck (though I do work and didn't get everything paid for for me). I would have just taken it as a joke.

It wouldn't bother me and tbh I'm a little like your cousin in that I went to uni and got a degree etc but am skint as fuck (though I do work and didn't get everything paid for for me). I would have just taken it as a joke.

You need a big standard reply for these things ‘Thanks for that!’

Or even ask outright, what’s that supposed to mean?

She is spoilt, bit it may have sounded better in her head!

Depends on your relationship?

From my cousins, we say a lot worse to each other and wouldn't take anything as a dig.

@Pocketlint

what a stupid comment

all you know is that it's a BMW & was wrapped by a previous owner.

🙄🙄

Entirely depends how she said it. She knows you work and may have been making the joke against herself for postponing getting into some kind of paid employment.

@yeesh

no she doesn't. She sounds like a 22 year old, yet to learn some social skills, that's all.

Well, ain't you the charmer.

OP's cousin sounds like an immature smartarse who still has a lot of growing up to do.

Meow! Yes, she sounds rude and also jealous and mean and entitled.
I expect her parents will have to cough up for a 'safer' car now.

You are doing very well for yourself OP. All by yourself.

You're charming!

Sounds like banter @Winterrush I think you'd have to be there to know if she was being catty or not.

@Pocketlint Why does the OP's BMW sound shit?

You sound jealous LOL! 😆

@Winterrush

How old are you? (Just curious in relation to her age?)

I think she meant in quite a self depreciating way especially if you're still in your 20's), you've done very well for yourself & it sounds like she's realising having 'good grades' is just the start of her getting on in life, not the end point, as some kids do when going to uni.

obviously it would have been better if you could have replied with something witty & I can see why it could sting, but maybe just look at it another way?!

Just rest safe in the knowledge that she will, sooner or later, make the same type of comment to the wrong person. Such as her first line manager.
I'd have given her a MN head tilt and said something along the lines of, there's more to intelligence than grades and cleverness. The comment would have hurt me at one point. Nowadays I'd just be a little cross.
Stuck up little thing she is.

I'm not in your position so can't answer as t Whether I'd find it rude if I were but she's obviously a big thick if she thinks that people who dont have good GCSEs can't afford stuff

Does she not live in the same world as the rest of us?

Your cousin was maybe a little thoughtless if she knew about your bullying at school, but I think you're really overreacting.

Yes, it's rude. Is she on social media a lot? It sounds like the sort of nonsense someone would post for 'likes' on social media; perhaps she forgot she was in a real life situation.

Unless you're a similar age I think you should take it as little more than a sign of her immaturity.

As you say, she hadn't yet had to work full time and is primarily supported by her parents. She evidently took it that your car was something to be envied/aspired to. It was clumsy but unless she really isn't a nice person is assume it wasn't meant with any malice.

You could easily have retorted with 'because I work' but only if it meant in a jokey way and you have that kind of banter. I wouldn't think you should put too much thought into it.

It sounds a bit like you're a tiny bit jealous of her? I know how that feels as I'm guilty of feeling that way about younger family who have it easier financially.

But she is hopefully going to go on to a good career that will help her and her family and be good for society. You've achieved great things in your life and don't need to compare yourself to her or anyone else.

@Pocketlint does your post make you feel better?

It's a bigger issue than just your cousin. The whole of Gen Y and Z were told that if they worked hard at school, went to uni and got good grades they would get a high earning job. It simply isn't the reality for lots of people. The realisation that plumbers, people running their own construction firms etc are earning way more than plenty of grads is a shock to those who just assumed the more you learn the more you earn.

It was rude of her, but I imagine that's probably the background.

Your cousin is a bit of a dick. I wouldn’t have given a second thought.

Yess it would piss me off OP. YANBU