... in asking if you have ever watched porn with DH/DP?

[Einhverdottir]

I've done a NC for this post. My DP asked if I'd watch some with him.

I'm asking this question for women perspective. I know the title will attract a lot of the men readers, but not really interested in their replies.

YABU: I've never watched porn with DH/DP
YANBU: I've have watched porn with DH/DP

TLDR: In a new relationship with a nice man for 18 months. Exclusive. I really like him. Both divorced and no kids. Due to location, we had only gotten to see each other every 2nd weekend. But now we're both relocated to the same city. We both prefer to have our own places and spaces for now, no plans for anything more.

I've watch some porn in the past on my own, read erotica, etc. It is not something I need. I have the usual ethics concerns, but am sure I could find something. Also, working in cybersecurity area I'm somewhat paranoid about these things in general.

Maybe you are overthinking? Give it a try, you may really enjoy it :)

If you both enjoy it, why not? What kind of cybersecurity worries do u have? There are many 'safe' sites and you just have to be mindful not to click on any ads etc.

I have never watched porn at all. I wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who watched porn. So this situation wouldn't arise.
I find it hard to imagine why any woman would want to sit there whilst her partner got aroused watching other females being exploited and abused and assaulted.

Use it as an opportunity to educate him. Agree ( if you're comfortable) but only if it's ethical. You choose and explain your choice.

haha its a good, you shouldnt knock it till you try it ! .. .if your open minded can be a good addition to a relationship now and then

Eh I'd say no. It's over a lot faster

Who says they're watching women? They could just as easily be watching gay men

I'll leave it to misogynists like you, thanks very much.

No, but then I’d not date anyone who watched porn. Ultimate ick.

Porn is disgusting and exploitative and if a partner of mine wanted to do this, it would be bye bye immediately.

About 20 years ago we gave it a try.
It was very uncomfortable. Not erotic at all. We both felt vaguely ridiculous.

Before anyone suggests I'm wrong about how he felt... He couldn't get it up.

It was not fun and was never repeated.

That’s not porn. That’s violence and abuse and aggression and whatever else you can call it.

Porn (always the ethical stuff) is not that.

I've watched porn with my partners before- not frequently, but if it's something we thought the other might enjoy we've shared. Occasionally it helped/helps to explain a concept or fantasy one of us has had or wanted to try but couldn't articulate properly. Sometimes we've just watched something to laugh at it 🤣
Most partners I've had, and myself, have watched porn of varying types. There are plenty of more ethical companies out there if that's a concern, usually ones that are woman owned/run 🙂

Yes once, a while ago when away. We were both a bit more than a wee bit tipsy, had been out most of the day, had fish n chips (the ultimate aphrodisiac 😂😂) I ate too much and felt overly full, we got going and I had to run to the bathroom to be sick when I came out he was fast asleep with the porn still blaring so I’d say it was a resounding un-sexy un-success! We had a good laugh about it though 😊

I watched a few with my DH probably a decade ago, but I didn't really like them.

The thing that got to me is that they all looked rather poor and desperate, so not really that into it (and the men never seemed to have a proper HO).

I just couldn't help my mind wandering at the time to who they were and what their actual circumstances were.

Not the intended experience my DH was after!

Most responses here will be people saying they wouldn't be with someone who watches porn. MNers despise porn and strip clubs because according to them absolutely no woman at all ever would choose to be in porn or be a stripper.

Ethical porn, what a juxtaposition.

Sex is about consent. You can convince yourself to the nth degree that you’re watching some high grade, super organic, definitely all above board wank material. But you’re still lacking consent. Unless the people in the video are personally telling you it’s ok to get sexual gratification from watching them being exploited for their bodies (regardless of the pay check that comes with it), then you don’t have consent for voyeurism.

Regardless, you’re buying into the whole porn industry, by watching any porn you’re creating a need for supply and demand. Talk ethics all you want, you’re still twisting the narrative to convince yourself you’re doing no wrong.

Plenty of women ‘choose’ it. Usually when very young, with little understanding of what it means to give your whole self to other people as a degradation. Many women are affected mentally and often physically by it over the years.

How do you know who chooses it and who doesn't, and how old they are, and how they are affected?

You don’t, that’s a huge part of the problem in watching porn. And giving it silly names such as ‘ethical porn’.

open people like me 😁

I didnt call it that. But the point I'm making is MNers are adamant that no one in porn chose to be there, they all hate it, they are all exploited. Not necessarily the case though is it.

Many "MNers" dislike porn for very valid reasons.
And we have every right to voice our opinion.

I used to with my ex and we both liked it. It's never really happened with my DH... Don't know why

And so do the people who watch porn, and who disagree with you.