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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you to help me pick which job to take?

82 replies

belindawolves · 15/09/2024 07:37

I have to decide by tomorrow and have no clue so posting here for traffic, hope that's okay.

I have 2DC, year 1&3, who live with me but go to their dads EOW. I have a DH who has a very flexible role so I don't have childcare issues. I have worked full time since they were a few months old apart from having six months off work this year to be at home before youngest started school. This is just to paint the picture to get an outside perspective on which one objectively seems best. We don't need the money but I just wanted to have a job for myself.

Job 1: Monday-Friday 9am-5pm, no weekends, about a 40 minute commute each way, £1655 a month after tax, in a field where there is career progression. Mentally stimulating and I think I'd be good at it.

Job 2: 30 hours over 4 days, mix of weekday and weekends depending but a bit flexible and a 15 minute walk from my house. £1340 a month after tax. Worked there previously. Supervisor role but no real scope for progression past that point.

Job 3: 2 days a week, but have to work 2-3 Saturdays a month. £670 a month, no progression opportunities (Manager even said so herself), ironically probably the one with most to learn. 10 minute walk from house.

I have no idea which one to pick. On the one hand, I really would love to not have to work weekends and would find the job mentally stimulating but it means sacrificing a lot of time with DC and leaves DH to do all school runs and some club runs (he doesn't mind but I feel a bit bad). The other thing about job 1 that is appealing to me is that I didn't go to uni and I feel like this is a real chance at a job that could lead to a career, which I've never had before. Job 2 I would not be mentally taking anything home once I leave the building, job 3 has "homework" to get to know the products. Which job would you pick in my position? Thanks so much

OP posts:

AgainandagainandagainSS · 15/09/2024 07:38

Definitely the first one.

ImaBuilder · 15/09/2024 07:44

job 1

Original poster

belindawolves · 15/09/2024 07:44

Thanks for replying @AgainandagainandagainSS Can I ask, is it the lack of progression, career opportunities or higher wage that makes you think number 1?

OP posts:

Original poster

belindawolves · 15/09/2024 07:45

Not lack * obviously, I need coffee

OP posts:

HelenWheels · 15/09/2024 07:49

you have painted job 1 a better picture
will childcare always be ok? school, sickness, etc.,

Sameshitdifferentdayx · 15/09/2024 07:50

Job 1 sounds great if it works around your life style with DC and so on, especially as you'll still get family time at the weekends compared to the other 2?!
The other 2 have no progression opportunities, so if you're wanting to progress then it's also more beneficial for you.
You've said you think you'd be good at it, and if you thrive off of mental stimulation then go for it!
Good luck 🥰

Raincoatsandwellies · 15/09/2024 07:51

I think this really depends on what the career is and what you want honestly. I'd say Job 2 for a couple years then go from there if you dont financially need the money.

Berga · 15/09/2024 07:52

You obviously want to take job 1 OP!

Do it! You feel a bit guilty but your DH says it's fine! You might spend your time wondering 'what if' otherwise...

Zanatdy · 15/09/2024 07:53

Job 1

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 15/09/2024 07:53

Job 1. You’re clearly most excited by that one.

Just4thisthreadtoday · 15/09/2024 07:53

It depends how much you want 'a career' rather than a job?!

if 'a job' then 2 hands down!

if a career then Job 1.

Job 3 - bin.

You could take 2 for now & look for another 1 later, or given you don't need the money, you could keep looking more locally for other 'Job 1' type opportunities. It doesn't have to be either/or 1/2.

Advent0range · 15/09/2024 07:53

Job 1. If your DH can do school runs then kids are still with a parent anyway - no need to feel guilty!

Catza · 15/09/2024 07:56

Depends on what your long-term plans are. Sounds like job 1 will give you a leg up as far as opportunities. It's a bit full on but has many benefits to make up for it.
In my position I would go for job 2 for a couple of years and then move on. But I already have education and career so my situation is very different. I can afford to take a step back for convenience and return to my career when the time is right. You don't have this option if you want to continue progressing.
Job 3 is a non starter for me.

HighlandCowbag · 15/09/2024 08:00

If you don't need the money, and can afford it why not go to uni instead? I've just done a 4 year degree, started when I was 42 and start an MA next week. It fits very well around small dcs. Summers off, easter and Christmas. Bit of juggling half term weeks.

It would be less intense than the 1st job, but still be progression. And if you don't need the money just yet I'd be very tempted. As soon as you start earning a salary you will need it!

Imgoingtoaskthequestion · 15/09/2024 08:01

Job 1. I would do this job if given the options you have written.

Don’t worry about the commute, that’s not too bad. It’s normal to commute for 1.5 hrs each way Mon-Fri. I did a 2hr commute Mon-Fri before. I now do a 3hr commute occasionally but regularly for work.

Emotionalsupporthamster · 15/09/2024 08:02

Job 1 sounds like a chance to invest in yourself and build a career for the future that you’ll find stimulating and meaningful. The others are compromises for family, but it doesn’t sound like they need that. You’ll still have plenty time together and will be there for the weekends they have with you. I’d go for job 1.

Cranberry2020 · 15/09/2024 08:07

I’d opt for job 1. You sound as if you would like to have the opportunity of a progressive career and this job seems to offer that. Do your kids do after school clubs at all? Can you sometimes pick them up from school? Is there any flex in the hours eg could you do 8-4 on occasion if needed? I have a career and my DC is in year 2. It’s a juggling act for sure but I do appreciate my own career and it brings me immense satisfaction. Good luck in your decision and congratulations being offered 3 jobs!

Original poster

belindawolves · 15/09/2024 08:10

@HighlandCowbag the thing about uni is that because of DH's income, we wouldn't get any financial support and the kind of degrees I'd be interested in are humanity degrees which don't lead to a career as such. My friends that did go to uni that did these types of degrees work in a field completely unrelated or where a degree wasn't necessary.

OP posts:

90yomakeuproom · 15/09/2024 08:10

I would have said job 1 if it wasn't for the 40 minute commute. I know it's not huge in the grand scheme of things but due to traffic etc you'll be leaving the house at 8 (maybe before) and getting home at 6ish.
Also if you have to pay for wraparound care then you need to calculate the cost of this. You can't really expect your DH (am I right that he's not the DF of these children?) to do every school drop off and pick up 5 days a week. But I know you didn't say that, I'm just thinking of factors.
Lots of parents do it, so it is doable, just things for you to think about. Could their own DF pick them up once or twice a week?

Original poster

belindawolves · 15/09/2024 08:13

@90yomakeuproom it'd actually be via public transport; 10 min walk to station, 10 minute train journey, 7 minute walk from station. Factored in time waiting for trains. And yes, DH would be the one doing it but he's been in their lives since they were very young and does a lot more for them than their dad does. He is a very supportive and involved stepdad.

OP posts:

rookiemere · 15/09/2024 08:14

Job 1 for sure, it's not even a 40 minute commute, its 34 minutes of exercise per day and a short bus ride.

mimblewimble · 15/09/2024 08:14

I agree you should go for job 1.

The long hours/commute don't have to be forever either, in the future you may find opportunities to reduce your hours in the same role, or move to a similar role that is part time or closer to home, if you wanted to.

daisychain01 · 15/09/2024 08:18

Yes to Job 1 there is no downside based on what you've described.

and big 👍 to Mr@belindawolves for being in your team. Always refreshing to know there are great men out there!

BreatheAndFocus · 15/09/2024 08:24

Job 2 or Job 3 - definitely not Job 1! If you don’t need the money, why on earth would you commit to that tedious commute and miss out on your DC’s lives? You could do something like that when they’re older if you want to.

Again, if you really don’t need the money, I’d go for Job 3. You say there’s a lot to learn so that will be interesting for you and you only have to do two days plus what sounds like every other Saturday. That sounds the best fit IMO.

Unlike PPs, I don’t think it sounds like you want Job 1. I think it sounds like you think that you should .

So, Job 3 IMO 😊

junebirthdaygirl · 15/09/2024 08:26

Job 1 . When your dc go to their dad at some weekends you have a chance to unwind, spend time with dh etc. I wouldn't take work that involved weekend work. But you need to think about school holidays. How will you manage? Will their own dad take 2 weeks off and bring them on a holiday/ care for them. Do you have family around who might lend a hand , after school and in holidays?

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