To ask you to help me pick which job to take?

[belindawolves]

I have to decide by tomorrow and have no clue so posting here for traffic, hope that's okay.

I have 2DC, year 1&3, who live with me but go to their dads EOW. I have a DH who has a very flexible role so I don't have childcare issues. I have worked full time since they were a few months old apart from having six months off work this year to be at home before youngest started school. This is just to paint the picture to get an outside perspective on which one objectively seems best. We don't need the money but I just wanted to have a job for myself.

Job 1: Monday-Friday 9am-5pm, no weekends, about a 40 minute commute each way, £1655 a month after tax, in a field where there is career progression. Mentally stimulating and I think I'd be good at it.

Job 2: 30 hours over 4 days, mix of weekday and weekends depending but a bit flexible and a 15 minute walk from my house. £1340 a month after tax. Worked there previously. Supervisor role but no real scope for progression past that point.

Job 3: 2 days a week, but have to work 2-3 Saturdays a month. £670 a month, no progression opportunities (Manager even said so herself), ironically probably the one with most to learn. 10 minute walk from house.

I have no idea which one to pick. On the one hand, I really would love to not have to work weekends and would find the job mentally stimulating but it means sacrificing a lot of time with DC and leaves DH to do all school runs and some club runs (he doesn't mind but I feel a bit bad). The other thing about job 1 that is appealing to me is that I didn't go to uni and I feel like this is a real chance at a job that could lead to a career, which I've never had before. Job 2 I would not be mentally taking anything home once I leave the building, job 3 has "homework" to get to know the products. Which job would you pick in my position? Thanks so much

@junebirthdaygirl I actually hadn't thought of the school holidays. DH would do it but I don't know if I'd want to miss out on so much. They would have 1x 5 day stay at their dads in the summer but that's kind of it.

FWIW, I want to take job 1 but I feel selfish. Gut says job 2 is the right one. Head says job 3 works a lot as well but aghhh I don't know.

It's a difficult one. I'm not convinced about the first 1 being the best one and can't decide if you're genuinely excited by it as others have mentioned or whether you're trying to be, because there's no weekend work involved.

Are you currently working? Are the jobs to get you back into work after being sahm or is it a job change?

Why are you going after these jobs? Is it because you need the money or to get you back into the work place?

Depending on the need of the job would depend on my answer!

none of them are right so don’t take any. Keep looking for a job that gives you the excitement of Job1 but is less hours or closer to home?

Job 1, a couple of years and kids will get increasingly independent and you’ll kick yourself when you’re sick in a career without progression. Can kids walk home from school? Ours can from yr 5, things can change quickly. Also once you’re in any chance of a day or two WFH?

Also consider the annual leave entitlement too. How many days, alongside the days worked for jobs 1 and 2.

If you don't work a Monday in jobs 2 and 3 and they close for bank holidays, you're entitled to a share of those bank holiday days as annual leave

Consider school holidays too and how to cover them. The less days you work, the easier they are to cover

Most places are 20 days plus bank holidays so you've got 20 days a year to cover the school hols and do any of these need to be kept back to cover Christmas closing? There are, I think, 65 days school holidays plus inset days.

@YellowphantGrey x post. I want job 1 for the career possibilities/mental stimulation and I'm not going to lie, the no weekends is tempting. But I hadn't considered school holidays.

I want a job because now they're back at school, it seems excessive that I have every day at home and I get bored sometimes. No, I'm not working. I want something for myself and I've always liked earning my own money, but we don't need it.

Everyone gets a minimum of 4k! Plus uni fees paid. I've just done a humanities degree. Not a massive philosophy industry out there I agree BUT many mid management and above roles require a degree level education these days.

Job one for sure. Any chance you could do 4 days a week or do compressed hours? That would give you a bit of leeway

Job 1 but as you husband isn't the kids father will he get resentful of potentially risking his career to do the drops and pick-ups at school? I guess if they are sick it is you who will need the time off for that, and holidays. I would probably go job three until they are older if that is a concern as hopefully their dad can cover weekends whilst you are working if needed,

@Isntshelovely2024 no, not in this role.

Job 1 is a long time out of the house - say 8am to 6pm when you take into account delays, getting to & from your workplace etc. That's not leaving much quality time with your DCs if you only see them EOW.

They're only little once and yours are still young, you will never get this time back with them.

Is take job 2 but keep an eye out for something similar to job 1, closer to home and part time if possible.

@Doggymummar no, he's very secure within his role and that wouldn't happen. If DC were sick, I would take the time off but then surely everyone has to sometimes that has DC? Job 1 knows that I have DC.

Back in the real world, 9-5 and a 40 minute commute- which is actually only a couple of short walks and a short bus ride - would be considered pretty standard, or indeed good.

Arduous commute indeed .

For jobs 2 and 3 would you be able to make all your weekend working whilst the kids are with their dad?

Definitely the first. I can't see the dilemma.

The three of them all sound like different job roles too one sounds office based at being 9 to 5 Monday to Friday

Job 2 and 3 sound retail and public facing, given the weekend work?

Going from nothing to full time is quite a leap and will be tiring. Is your DH on board with this? As in housework, children etc will have to be 50/50

Commute time is 40 mins, how reliable and frequent is the public transport part of that? And what's the cost of the public transport as that needs to come off your wage

Will after school clubs and before school clubs be needed? Are these available and do they have space?

Pension also needs to come out of the wage, so once you've deducted travel and pension, what are you left with? And does that make job 1 worthwhile?

School holidays you make work, they go to their dad's for a week in the summer, that's five left to cover, take two weeks annual leave, that's 3 to cover holiday clubs are great, any family support? Most of us work full time and juggle leave) childcare. I bet job one comes with a much better pension than the other two too, I'd also hazard better sickness benefits. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting a career because you have children, men don't! To have their mum at home every weekend and happy because she's stimulated and fulfilled by her work is a powerful message. I wonder if job one would consider condensed hours once you've been there a while so you have a day at home or even WFH one day a week

I think job 1 as well as it gives you career progression. As for the missing time with children - its quality time which is important and job 1 gives you weekends rather then just school run pick up etc. With organisation you can still be back for bath/bed and probably meals using a slow cooker so it's all sorted etc.

Depending on the type of 9-5 role there might also be scope for a bit of flexibility once past probation so 8-4 hours etc.

i don't think it's fair on your DH for job 1 - if he works from home i think factoring in school runs everyday and being the on call person is a big ask and become tedious very soon

could u ask job 1 to consider a 3 or 4 day week?

otherwise 2 sounds ok for abit

wouldn't bother with 3

None of them.

If you don't need to work, hold out for a job that suits you, rather than pushing yourself into one that you won't enjoy or will feel guilty about.

@belindawolves do you HAVE to work right now?

If not I’d take some time to think about what you want long term and aim for a role that will get you there.

I absolutely wouldn’t take job 3, you’ll still have time at home bored but equally your weekends will feel rubbish.

What kind of work do you want to do long term?

I didn't mean to drip feed but, and I don't know this for SURE, that I would probably have to do EOW in job number 2 as well. The girl I know who's leaving had to do weekends sometimes, can't remember how frequently but there will definitely be an element of weekend work.

A degree is not just for a job thought and you still have a lot of options open to you after the degree. My first degree was in art and philosophy. I actually use it quite a bit. It changed my life in so many ways and there were a lot of graduate schemes I could apply for after completing it. It also opened a door to vocational masters. The master were for a job and I didn't enjoy it half as much as I did a degree which was "just for me".
You still get your fees paid for you and you don't need a maintenance loan anyway as you don't need the money now. It's something I would seriously consider in your position.

It’s ok not to martyr yourself for your children, it’s not selfish to have ambitions for yourself. Whether you need the money or not is neither here nor there. It sounds like job 1 would leave you with plenty quality time with them. For holidays there’s annual leave and holiday clubs. Is spending more than one week with their dad in the summer or visits to family an option too?