To ask you to help me pick which job to take?

[belindawolves]

I have to decide by tomorrow and have no clue so posting here for traffic, hope that's okay.

I have 2DC, year 1&3, who live with me but go to their dads EOW. I have a DH who has a very flexible role so I don't have childcare issues. I have worked full time since they were a few months old apart from having six months off work this year to be at home before youngest started school. This is just to paint the picture to get an outside perspective on which one objectively seems best. We don't need the money but I just wanted to have a job for myself.

Job 1: Monday-Friday 9am-5pm, no weekends, about a 40 minute commute each way, £1655 a month after tax, in a field where there is career progression. Mentally stimulating and I think I'd be good at it.

Job 2: 30 hours over 4 days, mix of weekday and weekends depending but a bit flexible and a 15 minute walk from my house. £1340 a month after tax. Worked there previously. Supervisor role but no real scope for progression past that point.

Job 3: 2 days a week, but have to work 2-3 Saturdays a month. £670 a month, no progression opportunities (Manager even said so herself), ironically probably the one with most to learn. 10 minute walk from house.

I have no idea which one to pick. On the one hand, I really would love to not have to work weekends and would find the job mentally stimulating but it means sacrificing a lot of time with DC and leaves DH to do all school runs and some club runs (he doesn't mind but I feel a bit bad). The other thing about job 1 that is appealing to me is that I didn't go to uni and I feel like this is a real chance at a job that could lead to a career, which I've never had before. Job 2 I would not be mentally taking anything home once I leave the building, job 3 has "homework" to get to know the products. Which job would you pick in my position? Thanks so much

Career progression and the fact it is weekday work.

I've ruled out job number 3 so just weighing up 1&2.

The most important things to consider are

Take home pay after work deductions.and expenses

Annual leave

Commute and time out of the house in best and worst case scenarios

School holidays and how to cover, before and after school care

Housework split and expectations of each other

@YellowphantGrey all important points.

Monthly commute costs would be £54 for job 1, £0 for job 2. That means that job 1 is £1601 a month after tax and job 2 is £1340 a month after tax. Annual leave is 28 days vs 28 days pro rata for 4 days. Commute time in a best case scenario is 40 minutes for job 1 and at worst could be 1 hour each way if the trains were cancelled and I was using buses. Job 2 it's 15 minutes regardless as I would walk it.

So 28 days annual leave for 5 days a week or 22 days annual leave for 4 days a week. Is that worded as including bank holidays or plus bank holidays?

Is the 4 days including weekends and set days? Or 4 random days each week?

Sorry, I just find that annual leave is one area where people screw themselves over, especially when they have small children!

@YellowphantGrey I'm pretty sure it's including. 4 random days including some weekends but not all. Please don't be sorry, you're helping me!

So to summarise:

Job 1: out of the house from 8am-5:45pm Monday-Friday. No weekends. £1600 after tax and commute costs. Career progression opportunities, mentally stimulating.

Job 2: 15 minute walk each way. 30 hours over 4 days. Mix of days and weekends, no set days or working pattern. Could have to start as early as 7am some times, latest out would be 6:30. Slightly more flexible and if I saw a day in a few weeks time I knew I had something on, I could swap it or I can do some of the school runs within the flexibility. £1340 a month after tax.

28 days holiday isn't bad for job 1. Just to check, is that on top of bank holidays, or is it bank holidays + 20, ie the legal minimum?

You do need to think about school holidays. Will their father be able to step up, eg take them away for a week or two? Are there grandparents they could visit or friends you could do a swap with. Or would they thrive in a daily summer camp for a week? Could you take an additional week or two of unpaid parental leave each year?

I'd go for job 1 I think though. Best not to put all your family's financial eggs in one basket, and build your own financial resilience - as long as DH is genuinely happy to step up with childcare.

Are jobs 1 and 2 the same type of job - what's the actual role?

Job 2 looks better to me

No commute.

You have a full day off each week

@BehindTheSequinsandStilettos 1is finance, 2 is retail.

Job 1

OP I've been in your shoes. Agonising over decisions.

You can list pros and cons endlessly and drive yourself mad.

My advice to you is visualise yourself in each of these Jobs. Imagine the scene like you are already there. You're in the office.

Which scenario do you feel happier in , when you think about It.

Then trust your gut feeling!

But...

you'll need to double-check DH is not going to resent you later. Yes, he's been a Dad to them but he doesn't have Parental Responsibility in the way you do unless he's adopted them.

Unless he counts the school runs as a no-brainer/uses it as a chance to get his steps in or pick up a brew. It comes down to what the routines are and if Job 1 has family-friendly policies for when/if he cannot take the reins.

I'd be looking at local wrap around care/school breakfast and after-school clubs and holiday clubs too, to give you some more flexibility except he'd need to sort getting them to the latter as well if their biological Dad won't ever step up.

It's a tough one for sure.

If 2 is retail, I'd go for number 1. Purely because you've more chance of being off at christmas being office based as opposed to retail.

Sounds silly but Christmas is important to me and I don't want to be that person at work who refuses to work it so I avoid jobs where I have to.

I shut my own business for Christmas week too

Personally i would go for option 2.

But what are you interested in?

Retail and finance are completely different.

I've worked in both.

They are worlds apart , as jobs go

She's already done the second one. I don't mind retail - have worked at Tesco and Marks myself - but weekend shifts impinge on family time more than a steady M-F role. The kids won't always need taking to and from in five years' time. It's all down to if their stepdad is as on board as he says he is, once he's been doing it for a while. If yes, then job 1 is the better option.
What are your pension options OP?

I really trust my gut feeling these days.

I used to not to.

I was offered two different jobs , a couple of years ago.

One was better paid and looked better on paper. However when I thought about it, I had a really bad feeling about it.

I ended up taking it, and leaving after six months as it was so awful.

I feel things out now and trust how I feel.

It's an option

This.

While you're married, I'd plan this as though you were single so would get before and after school clubs in place and used at least once a week and speak to their Dad about what he will be taking them for over the school hols and get it in writing.

Is DH able to work from home while there are children there? I know some companies don't allow this

There's 13 weeks of school holidays. I've known parents never take holidays together because they can't cover all the holidays and need to do it alone.

School holiday clubs around here are useless and their hours are 10 till 2 or 11 till 3 which isn't ideal for a lot of parents plus they only run for 2 weeks in the summer hols

Job 1 for the stimulation, job progression, salary and no imposition on weekends. To me it's a no brainer! I have a primary-aged child and work full time. Please don't feel guilty. I need a stimulating job for my own wellbeing and sometimes need to work later etc. but I spend a lot of quality time with my son in the evenings, weekends and holidays.

It's tricky because I want to say Job 2 until Year 6 then Job 1 from Year 7.
Mainly because I know that primary requires more input (school assemblies, sports days, church services, charity fundraisers, nativity etc) and the children become more independent by year 7.

But who's to say Job 1 will come up in 2029 or OP will be offered it then?
So common sense would be: Take Job 1, see how it fits, see how sustainable it is for all and quit if it doesn't work out. Going back to retail can be Plan B.
Job 1 will only cause issues if the payback/quid pro quo is that OP is expected to pick up all the slack at weekends (housework, breakfast, organising) in return for her spouse doing childcare arrangements M-F. Also, does he WFH and if so, how will he work the 4-6 slot? (possibly earlier if no after school activity).
If the kids are happy with a snack and chilling out with music/TV/books/gaming (mine always were) then it's a non-issue. All down to how hands on you are/homework expectations/meal prep and sit-down times/bedtime imposed and how self-sufficient/cooperative your kids are.

It is a completely personal choice and everyone is different. It is was me I would choose job 3 and then try for something like job1 when my children were older.
but it sounds as though you want job1 so if so you should go for it.

Job 1 for me because of the type of work, progression opportunities and no weekends (working weekends would be a massive dealbreaker for me, personally- understand others don't feel the same or don't have a choice).

Do you think with job 1 you could put in a flexible working request after a few months to drop your hours slightly? Any chance of a day or two working from home per week?

Job 4.

You are clearly very employable.
You have 3 job offers.

Have you researched jobs similar to job 1 with a better commute or flexible hours?

Otherwise, I would chose job 1 with a 2/3 year commitment. After 2 years, wfh or flexi hours might be negotiatable. If not, you'll have banked the experience and may be able to get something more suitable.

There’s a big difference between retail and finance - I don’t really think it can be a serious choice.

That salary full time is around £25k I’d guesstimate? So an entry level finance role which means you’ll have lots to learn and keep you busy but you can actually progress quite quickly if you have aptitude for the role.

However, I don’t know where you live, but part time finance roles are plentiful in many cities and I’d be surprised if you couldn’t find a similar role on a part-time basis if that’s what you actually want as a career.