Tell me what your husbands do for you to make you happy

[ipadgeneration]

Do they put you first sometimes ? Silly stuff like, letting you choose the movie or takeaway.

Do they buy you stuff they know you'd like ? Do they surprise you sometimes ?

Do they take care of you and check up on you when you're not feeling well?

Do they give you a break from things when they see you're stressed out ?

Do they take the baby / toddler / child off you, even when they're tired- because they can see you struggling ?

Do they sometimes make plans / suggestions of fun things to do together or with your kids as a family ?

Are they just nice to be around? Or do they moap around grumpy a lot ?

Do they do their share of the housework and cooking / laundry etc ?

How do you know they love you ? What do they do to show it? Apart from being there ?

He knows I love flowers so we nearly always have a bunch on the go he orders from the florist.
I love pick and mix so will offer it occasionally (yes of course I can buy it myself but I usually wait for him to offer otherwise I'd eat it constantly!)
Will make me a coffee every single morning without fail.
He works so hard and picks up overtime to make sure we can afford the things we want and spoil our kids- he's the best

He understands that I need time alone.

Hi @ipadgeneration

I was married to a man like your H for 13 years, together for 21. I never, ever, ever felt cherished or protected. The example you gave about the take away is exactly something that would have happened in my marriage.

When I got sick I was treated as a sheer incovenience and malingerer. When I was pregnant I was very sick, vomiting every morning for 9 months, really violently ill. He said “I’m just so bored of listening to that”.

He never remembered my birthday, would never come to kids’ events (like school picnics or parent teacher interviews) without arguing, Christmas was always so stressful and unpleasant bc he never lifted a finger. I used to read posts on here about people’s lovely kind husbands and think they must have been exaggerating… it was so far from my experience.

I split with exH 2 years ago and have a new partner (who was actually a high school romance in the late 90s). He utterly loves and cherishes me, calls me “just to hear your voice”, picks me up from work because it’s dark/cold/just so I don’t have to catch the bus, send a flowers,looks after me when I am sick, once drove me and my kids 60km at midnight to the nearest hospital when DD6 fell off a top bunk when we were away for a beach holiday and I was worried about her, tells me I am gorgeous all the time, gives me foot massages, cleans my car, does annoying jobs that I don’t want to (like taking things to the tip) etc etc etc

He’s just the absolute best and I wish I’d realised that when we were 17. Life with a loving and kind partner is just amazing - it’s like coming into a warm cosy home after trudging through a blizzard.

he buys my period products for me monthly he adores me none stop and will do anything for me if I’m having a bad cycle he will say no don’t cook I will get a takeaway he doesn’t cook he does the bins for us weekly without fail if I ask him to get me some chocolate to make me feel better he will go right before work before starting a 10 hour shift

I do for him

cook daily from scratch unless very uncomfortable on a bad menstrual cycle
clean the home send him with home made food for work daily have a cooked meal home made on the table for him when he gets home I also make home made desserts to send him with ontop of lunch when he gets back from work I do everything for him I get him a drink the moment he comes home dinner will be cooking at this point I’ll open doors for him I will make sure if I’m not working I will go to the area he works in and grab him a drink and take it to him