Tell me what your husbands do for you to make you happy

[ipadgeneration]

Do they put you first sometimes ? Silly stuff like, letting you choose the movie or takeaway.

Do they buy you stuff they know you'd like ? Do they surprise you sometimes ?

Do they take care of you and check up on you when you're not feeling well?

Do they give you a break from things when they see you're stressed out ?

Do they take the baby / toddler / child off you, even when they're tired- because they can see you struggling ?

Do they sometimes make plans / suggestions of fun things to do together or with your kids as a family ?

Are they just nice to be around? Or do they moap around grumpy a lot ?

Do they do their share of the housework and cooking / laundry etc ?

How do you know they love you ? What do they do to show it? Apart from being there ?

Sounds like your relationship is really off balance. He isn't your boss, he isn't better than you, he doesn't get to 'let' you choose a movie

I think I misread that

In isolation those quotes are not bad but the vibe I got from the OP wasn't good

He's great at housework. Good dad. I just need to wiggle my foot near him and he'll automatically start rubbing it. When I've been utterly exhausted from work/life, he will use the hair dryer and dry my hair for me. Ends in a fluff ball but atleast I didn't have to do it!

He brings me a treat back from the shop, usually a chocolate bar or pack of sweets. Oh!! He brought back some Lenor Golden Maple and White Musk fabric conditioner earlier. He knows I'm getting into the autumn spirit so even though we have two other bottles, he thought I'd like that 😁

It's not all perfect, he's atrocious at scratching my back. He buys cheap, sachet custard. He leaves his shoes in the living room. He's a grumpy sod and we clash sometimes. But he'll do anything for me and support me in anything. I'm awful at 'home admin' so he's on top of it all.

Does the majority of the cooking, fixes stuff if it’s broken eg my windscreen wipers, the pump was gunged up with what looked liked ectoplasm! I had a flat en route to take him to A&E, he was admitted and as soon as he got out, he changed the tyre! Crazy.

He does most of the dog walks, sorts their insurance and all the finances/mortgage, obviously I have total access to everything.

He’s recently organised a plumber and mechanic, think he’s looking for a roofer to fix the drainpipe next. He’ll get my car MOT’d and pay for the tax online. Really can’t complain.

Agree with ALL of this. If this isn’t a basic standard you shouldn’t be with them and they’re certainly not adult enough to be in a relationship.

Every morning after checking for my preference he brings me a hot drink in bed.
He makes me laugh and laugh again.
He’s a great daddy and a wonderful grandad.
I’ve loved him for 50 years, the most epic thing he’s done to make me love him to bits is to take a long hard look at himself and acknowledge his faults and then work so hard on them. I really love him for that. 😊

He’ll buy me flowers if he does the food shop, if he pops to the shop, he’ll get me a small bar of chocolate as a surprise, he rubs my feet, cooks dinner if I’m tired, always does 50/50 with chores, goes out in the cold to get things if I don’t want to, sorts my car out with making sure there’s enough oil in it, does my tyre pressures, brings me a cup of tea when we’re WFH, kisses on the head. He’s lovely. Tells me he loves me whenever we have to part (we both do) and even when I’m leaving to drive to the office at an ungodly hour, he will get up to de ice my car in winter and will always tell me to drive safe even when he’s still in bed half asleep.

1. Hand rub, head rub, back and shoulder rub every single evening whilst on sofa for the entire 11 years together so far.

1. Doing my bedtime ie playing a game of 20 questions with me whilst rubbing my hand and head - honest to god I've never ever finished a round of that game because I always fall asleep by the time I ask the same 3 questions!

If it helps...I'm in exactly the same position 😂

Well, this was an unnecessarily hostile post.

@Didimum

Well, this was an unnecessarily hostile post.

Hostile? Absolutely not intended to be hostile snd I apologise to OP if that's how it's come across

Does more than his fair share of early mornings with DD, most of the time it’s him who gets up with her these days and then brings me a cup of tea too. And increasingly he’s the one who goes to her if she wakes up at night and needs one of us. (DD is 4, I think I took more of the hit in the first 2 or so years of her life, he’s definitely made up for it since though).

Defrosts my car for me in the winter.

Makes an effort with my family and friends, is always lovely to them and puts himself out to be sociable with them because he knows it’s important to me even though I know he’d far rather be hibernating at home!

Can he quite thoughtful with presents when the mood takes him.

Proud of my achievements - tells everyone how well I’ve done even when it’s quite small things really.

The other day I was coming down with a cold and he sent me to bed, brought me a mint tea, water and paracetamol. The paracetamol he’d snapped in half to make them easier to swallow - I’ve no idea why this touched me so much but it did just make me think ‘awwww look at you taking care of me’. (Don’t get me wrong, I was fully expecting him to suddenly start with similar but worse symptoms soon after, and crack out the dressing gown of doom whist he was at it - but actually he managed to avoid it this time!)

Away with a friend for a long weekend now. He never moans or minds me doing stuff for myself: with my friends - he’s only ever encouraging and wants me to have a lovely time. He got up at 5 with me even though I’d slept in the other room so as not to disturb him, carried my case downstairs and into the taxi, and I know he’s taking amazing care of DD and they’re having a lovely time together.

Lots of things, can’t really think of them all but he’s one of the good ones.

He is crap at DIY. His idea of a clean house isn't mine.

He can be grumpy and gets annoyed at fairly minor things, whereas I am generally "oh well, never mind" when things go wrong.

He rarely surprises me with tickets to shows or surprise trips away.

But he is a decent, kind, moral man who loves me and cares about me, would never have an affair.

At times I think he could do more around the house and I get annoyed at that, but in the overall scheme of things he is my lovely man.

My boyfriend, but when he takes the baby down in the Morning so I can rest. When he cooks if I'm too tired x

@fizzymizzy fucking hell what a miserable bloody response. So unnecessary.

Just today:

Gropey snuggle and a back rub in bed
Took the kids kickboxing so I didn't have too

Brought me home a pack of giant cheesy WOTSITS without being asked ❤️

Helped me think of things for the shopping list

Tidied up and vaccumed downstairs

Made sure I felt better after taking my meds again yesterday (chemist struggled to get them and I ended up 3 days without)

Sent me various flirty texts

Tells me I'm beautiful

Got the washing in

Just no put the kids to bed.

We are now sitting quietly and comfortably and watching 24 hours in police custody.

He does pretty much everything to make me happy.
To be honest I wish he would put himself first sometimes. I do everything I can to try and make life easier for him as he is always doing everything for us!!

Let me sleep in regularly. I always choose what food we get to eat as he’s easy going. He’s not into rare massive gestures but into daily smaller ones that make a huge difference.

He gives me a lie in almost every day because he knows I don’t sleep well. He buys me flowers ‘just because’. He tells me he loves me multiple times a day. He takes the kids out when I need to catch up on work. He takes care of all the laundry and dishes, all the kids appointments and haircuts. He books fun things to do in the holidays. He’s positive and happy and gentle and always putting others before himself. I feel completely protected and swallowed in his love for me.

He always makes sure my vase has fresh flowers in.
He takes note of things I’m running low on that I always forget about and makes sure they’re stocked.
He always puts me first.
He texts me regularly throughout the day to check in.
He goes out of his way to make me laugh everyday.
I get regular foot rubs and back massages.
He tells me I’m beautiful pretty much every time he sees me.
I don’t do enough to show my love really. I need to step it up.

• when sometimes would find a reason to sob uncontrollably , he would cuddle me and remind all these people out there do not matter and it is us and will always be till death do us part
• would bring me to my favourite nature spots
• would agree that I can eat that fatty favourite pastry of mine
• would buy me my favourite books and music
• would listen to me no matter what I say
• would be patient if even I had a crush on another man and shared that but he knows I don't do emotional or physical affairs
• would plan surprises in all kinds of ways
• would drive me to amazing old village or town
• would buy me chocolate

Just sounds as if you’re annoyed or baffled at all of OP’s suggestions. Yet we know that there are many many unhappily married people out there, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask these things.

You are the second person to say similar, can you explain why because it wasn't intended?

Wishing I was in a relationship now

@Didimum

Just sounds as if you’re annoyed or baffled at all of OP’s suggestions.

That wasn't the case. But nobody should be in a relationship where they think being allowed to choose a movie indicates love. Obviously it's much deeper but essentially that is what I was trying to get across.