My DH is overly concerned about his colleague

[Yiu124]

My DH works in a stressful job. He often comes home offloading. He has a few peers at work he’s friendly enough, but lately, he’s become overly invested in his female peer work stresses. They are in stressful situations- I get it, and they offload. But they are chatting a lot. She checks some of his essential emails. I often overhear him telling her to look after herself, that he’s concerned about her, not to work late, and that she cheers him up. Is this normal? Corporate environment for context

In the basis of what’s in your post, it all sounds normal and nothing of concern. However, you come across as if you suspect him of infidelity so is that because he has a history of being unfaithful or you have insecurities?

I'd be abit worried tbh

For now, just for now sounds like a warm friendly chat. Not emotional
I had a younger colleague who had a partner and a child who was so warm to be around and the minute he saw me, he would forget about it all and chat and laugh like mad. I could be his mother even though, I felt the same. Nothing emotional. Just a human attraction

Nothing like that at all. What’s odd he’s never been like this with anyone before. He’s reserved with colleagues. She’s supportive of him but to be coming home telling me how she’s having a very difficult week- it’s out of character.

Yeah, this happened to me - mentionitis about a colleague going through a tough time at work. Turned out they were having an affair.

I am sorry to hear that. No affair as he wfh a lot and always around. But when I walk on him he’s chatting to her and offering a lot of support and care.

I would be weary of that.

Why is she checking his essential emails? Is she in a secretary type position to him?

The cheering up part is just absolutely not needed. I feel that's a bit much.

Wary*

No, they are equals at work.

No affair yet but doesn't mean that that's not where this is heading. He shouldn't be getting close with a female colleague, it's obviously making you feel uncomfortable. Trust your gut feeling.

Seems like if you had to write a step one of "I didn't mean to have an affair" it would be this. Slippery slope.

I work in a corporate role & work in the main with only males,we share concern for each others stress and work loads and cheer each other up. They often check. on my wellbeing and tell me about not working late.

I am very happily married and have no interest in any other male. None of these males have ever flirted or shown a romantic interest in me and we spend hours together.

I'd keep a close eye on it and his behaviour. I've been in corporate environments for many years and men expressing their concern over how hard I'm working, late hours etc is usually just a way for them to try and tap into my emotional side, in a 'I'm so caring, I could be your knight in shining armour' way. Not saying your chap is doing that but be careful. Maybe remind him just how much he would have to lose if he messes up before anything happens or he carries on getting too involved.

It sounds as though they are getting emotionally close. Worrying if this is out of character behaviour for him with work colleagues.
Perhaps you should be having a conversation about boundaries: that he should be keeping his relationship with her on a professional footing.

Does he normally act like this towards women he is not attracted to? If he’s an overall caring guy I wouldn’t be that worried but if it’s out of character for him to give a fuck about women he doesn’t find attractive then yes I’d be worried.

It could be nothing but I'd be a bit wary. Some men get flattered by being 'needed' and it can lead to affairs. My dad was in a similar situation. He was a cold person to everyone it suddenly had lots of sympathy for a woman at work, then he had to meet her for drinks when disaster after disaster happened to her.

He’s not doing anything wrong.., but offering to her to call any time for help is a tad too much

He doesn't act like this to many people

ask directly , but i wouldn’t overly be concerned, surely we want men to be kind and thoughtful towards other women and must expect that good men can do so without an altering motive. It should be a societal norm for men to care about women and vice versa without attraction coming into it. Be proud your partner is so caring and thoughtful towards colleagues - tell him so encourage his kindness.

I get it, and perhaps it’s all just friendly. But offering to call at any time—even over the weekend—is too much.

depends on the job and the stress, it also depends hugely on how much you trust each other. You probably need to speak to him, not us.

I have. He said she’s a good colleague.

I work in a very male dominated environment. I have one male colleague in particular who I have known for years and we get on well.

He is stressed and he rings me to offload - at the moment that can be twice a day. We chat and laugh and confide in each other. It helps keep us sane. We slink off for coffee together occasionally and slag everyone off.

there is absolutely nothing romantic going on. In The slightest😂.

if that helps?

Yeah, my DH was like that too, so concerned about her. He's now exDH and they're now married with a kid.

It depends if he would act the same way when interacting with a balding older man in his team or if the behaviour is starting to cross lines.