Playdate parent has an issue with lower social class!

[Popcornlassie28]

My 7 year old has recently got quite friendly with another child in their class. The other child asked her Mum if they could have mine for a play date (at their house) and she didn’t seem overly thrilled but said yes and I’m yet to arrange this with the parent.

At a child’s birthday party (in their class) prior to them getting super close, I was chatting to the parents and this Mum was talking about her recent house move and saying it was because ‘She paid a lot of money for her previous home on a new estate and in the end was placed near social (council house) tenants’ and she went on to say how much she hates council house people and that she didn’t deserve to live near them so they moved.

I grew up from a council house background and found the comment quite off hand as I think it’s pretty small minded to judge someone on their possessions and financial status.

Anyways, I will have to stay with my child at the play date at their home and I know in turn I will be expected have them back at mine. My home isn’t fancy, it’s functional and cozy. I’m happy with it. I’m just worried she will judge us based on what we have. I would rather not have her in my home at all with her attitude, it’s not welcome. I don’t care if someone has a cardboard box, they are equal to me.

Am I being unreasonable to not want to arrange this play date? I just don’t want it to affect friendships but I really was not best pleased with her opinions and attitude.

Thanks!

I would have to ask, considering her feelings on those who live in social housing, whether she really wants you to stay with your child at the play date, since you grew up in a council house? Smile sweetly and watch her go bright red.

I’m just worried she will judge us based on what we have.

I mean, yes, she absolutely is going to judge you on that criterion based on how you have described her. The question is, do you care? Can’t you just be amused by her superficiality and how awful she is?

I think you are being unreasonable.

The children just want to play together. Why should they suffer because one of their mother's is a snob, and the other mother is overly sensitive about it?

Katie Hopkins was vocal about not wanting her children to play with the "wrong sort", so I took some delight from the knowledge that her children played with the sister of my daughter's best friend, and they'd play together without her approving of us.

Let the kids play.

I grew up in a council house. I dont want to live on my local estate - it is not the same profile of clients as when I grew up.

Who the f is she? If she wants to be so classist, ask her what category is her Nobel Prize in? Failing that, is she landed gentry? Pathetic, I would ignore her, seriously. I would discourage my child to be friends with a child of this snobbish cow.

Forgot to mention, please tell Mrs Bucket aka Bouquet that there are only 2 classes - non-working class (landed gentry+ means of production owning capitalists) and working class, i.e. those who WORK for a living, including barristers, doctors, teachers, actors (Who earns what is immaterial, what is material is that they have to work to live). So she IS working class, so there is no problem for her to socialise with the like so her.

Although we own, we live on what is very obviously a council estate. I wouldn't invite this woman to my home. I'd maybe invite the child over but not their mother. Parents don't need to be at these things anyway do they?

I just wouldn’t go or arrange a neutral play date location such as the park. I always say if it doesn’t sit right, don’t do it.

On another note, I get awfully cross when I see people use their usernames as a way to bully or put people down. This is an anonymous forum to discuss things that people not be able to tackle without some clarity as it’s easy to doubt yourself. I see this so much on many forums.

These forums are a moment of time, not how it ended or how it’s dealt with. I think it’s terribly unfair to bring other forums into this post to bully or to put someone down.

We used to live in between 2 social housing houses and one side were ideal neighbours, the other side were so awful we moved and did things I don’t think you would do if you owned your own home, mainly because you’d be out all day to pay for it! Dozens of cats and dogs digging up the garden and shitting in our garden, damaging the house, screaming and shouting at all hours, openly taking drugs in front of their children etc.

I live in a council flat and I'd probably invite her over just to see her face. She'd love the unhinged bloke who lives on the ground floor in my building.

I don't care about anyone's opinion though so I'd do it just to make her uncomfortable 🤣

@oakleaffy are you kidding?

you do realise some people will be in their pjs in the day because they are working in care homes or hospitals or public transport and other services at night?

Or would you like the entire country to go to bed at 9pm sharp to ensure that everyone is suitably attired in the daytime?

As for the sofa being in the front garden and the grass not being mown… it is hardly crime of the century.

Round my way, it’s become trendy to have a “wild meadow” area in your garden so there’s loads of folk with long front lawns and i rather like it. Better than a vast expanse of concrete or block paving.

I live in an ex council house where several houses on the street are still social housing. It's in an area with some very expensive homes and some people definitely judge.

Fuck them, their insecurity is their issue.

I'm a lawyer and have come across people professionally and personally (usually faux posh people desperately trying to be upper middle class) who considered it some kind of gotcha when I talked about my ordinary background, or say things like "Oh is that a Northern accent?" As if that might be a bad thing.

God, definitely have this woman round, it will be hilarious.

She paid a lot of money for her previous home on a new estate and in the end was placed near social (council house) tenants’ and she went on to say how much she hates council house people and that she didn’t deserve to live near them so they moved.

If she said that in front of me in public, I'd say "Wow, did you just say that out loud?"

Call her out on it. Tell her what she said was quite upsetting as you grew up on a council estate and you’re worried that she might be judging you. She’ll probably change her tune.

Just say your daughter won't want that but still offer to have the girl (without horrendous sounding mother) over to play at your house. Don't let your daughter suffer

Some good areas of Westminster had council estates built on them courtesy of the Luftwaffe.

I don't think she will arrange a play date either. So I would just move on and have as little contact as possible if you find her offence.

Can they not meet somewhere that isn't your houses?

Nah she just sounds like a prick

One can’t imagine enduring such horrors!

So when she made these outrageous remarks what did you say to her?

A true wildlife meadow is very different to unkempt grass with old dumped fly tipped tat on

it.

That's ridiculous, they're not 2. Tell her you've got stuff to get on with and you'll just drop your Dc and collect them later.

Just casually forget to arrange.

Yes to this.

Go to her house. Be your nice, normal self.

Have her over to yours and enjoy the experience of watching her feel uncomfortable.