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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pregnant dog

182 replies

leighks123 · 12/09/2024 07:09

AIBU? So my partner came home last night and told me he thinks the dog is pregnant (by another dog from his work that I thought was neutered) I was absolutely livid and told him I am not having a litter of puppies at home because he is at work all day and I will be the one looking after them. We had a massive row over it and I get told I'm selfish.

So the reasons I don't want to are, she's a big dog and likely to have a big litter, I have a 6 month old baby and am pregnant, I've just spent the last 3 years overcoming psychosis and getting my mental health back on track and I feel this would be a massive trigger for me.

He's saying I wouldn't have to do anything as the mum would but I just don't think that's true. Please tell me if I'm in the wrong? It's like he's done it on purpose

OP posts:
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Cherrysoup · 12/09/2024 07:11

Any idea when it happened? Is it too late for Alizin (sp?) which is the’morning after’ injection? Phone your vet. Sounds insanely irresponsible of your Dh, does he realise things can go badly wrong and it could cost thousands?

DustyLee123 · 12/09/2024 07:12

The dog should have been spayed before now if you don’t want puppies, and you don’t want to risk pyometra, which she could die from.
You can get her spayed now and it will end the whole problem.

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 07:14

@DustyLee123 yes I am fully aware of this, he already had the dog when we got together and it's not a question I ever really thought to ask we've been together 3 years now so it's just never come into conversation!

@Cherrysoup I honestly don't know, he only told me last night and is saying he doesn't know when it happened

OP posts:
HateSpewingTurnip · 12/09/2024 07:14

I believe the vets can spay/abort at the same time. If hes saying its an accident then he wouldnt mind if you just get it booked in and sorted.

Cherrysoup · 12/09/2024 07:16

Phone your vet and get advice re spay/abort if he isn’t sure on dates. How can he not know? It’s not a quick boom!

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 07:18

@Cherrysoup I'll give them a call but she's calling me selfish so I'm guessing it was planned because of his reaction.
He works in a yard and drives a lorry when he's out in the lorry she stays in there with the guy in the office so is saying he doesn't know when it happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 07:19

He's calling me selfish*

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 12/09/2024 07:20

Take the dog to the vets to discuss. He shouldn’t have taken a dog in season to work with another male dog, even if castrated it will still drive the other dog mad. Unbelievable they just let it happen.

StuckOnTheCeiling · 12/09/2024 07:26

You’re absolutely not being unreasonable OP, having a dog with a litter of puppies is hard work and expensive. He’s probably thinking you can sell them for lots of money - that’s not necessarily the case, there are so many dogs around that a lot of people struggle to find homes for the puppies, and that’s before you take in to account making sure they’re good homes.

Beezknees · 12/09/2024 07:27

YANBU, I'd be fuming.

Do you think he has done this on purpose? Does he want to make money by breeding or something?

sunsetsandboardwalks · 12/09/2024 07:30

Why hasn't your dog been spayed? And why is he taking her to work if she's in season?

It sounds like he's been planning this behind your back.

Take the dog to the vets for a spay/abort and have a think about your relationship while you're there.

Rightonsite · 12/09/2024 07:31

How old is the bitch? And is this her first litter?

Quite aside from all the mammoth expenses and huge time commitment involved in breeding a litter, there is a huge risk to the bitch especially if she is older and it’s her first litter.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 12/09/2024 07:33

Idiot. There are far too many dogs as is without adding to the problem not to mention there is no guarantee he’ll shift the puppies so you could end up left with them

Original poster
leighks123 · 12/09/2024 07:38

Yes I absolutely think he's done it on purpose, and is thinking of the money. He was telling me she was one of 12 in her litter so I know she could have a big litter,

I don't know how old she is, he already had her and she was a rescue because the owners that had her couldn't sell them so abandoned them. She can't be any older than 4. I feel stupid for not asking whether she's done or not when we got together. So yea it's her first litter.

OP posts:
WingsofRain · 12/09/2024 07:40

You can use Alizin a lot later than just “morning after”, speak to your vet asap.

Spaying while pregnant is dangerous and most vets won’t do it, especially when Alizin is safe and effective.

Rearing a litter (even if it’s responsibly planned) is vast amounts of hard work and expensive, even a very good brood bitch will not do everything and you need to sleep with the bitch and puppies for at least the first five weeks. I slept with mine for the full nine weeks to make sure the puppies were alright.

If the bitch turns out not to be a good mother then you might have to face her injuring them or abandoning them, plus of course you need vast amounts of special food and that’s without the risk of a caesarean or mastitis. An out of hours caesar is very expensive.

Are you able to keep all the puppies if there aren’t homes for them? Are you able to offer a contract to your puppy buyers guaranteeing that you will take them all back if at any time in their lives the new owners can’t keep them?

These are all things that are the absolute minimum your husband needs to think about before going ahead. That’s before considering that it’s unlikely anyone is going to want to pay for a randomly bred puppy whose parents have no hip scores or eye tests.

He is hugely irresponsible and I’m so sorry he has put you and your dog in this position.

MsLaiyla · 12/09/2024 07:43

It's a shocking way to treat an animal, and so reckless of your partner. If he has no idea when they mated or when pups could be due, and is thinking of quick cash, he shouldn't have a dog. Many idiots do though.
I'd echo the advice so far. Call the vet and find out if there are any options. A new baby, whilst pregnant is enough. A pregnant dog a litter of puppies is insane. Poor dog, especially the fact she's already been rescued and now he's using her for cash. So hideous.

QuiteAnEpicFailure · 12/09/2024 07:51

If it’s your partners dog there is not much you can do other then refuse to look after the puppies or move out. Sounds like he has done this on purpose thinking you would just come round to the idea, it’s incredibly selfish and unfair on both you and the dog, never mind the future puppies too!

K0OLA1D · 12/09/2024 07:53

How did you not realise she was intact? Surely she was having seasons?

WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 12/09/2024 07:57

So the poor dog is just a cash cow for him, poor thing.

Your partner and the office guy have more than likely come up with this 'plan' to make a few bob. I would be fuming too especially as there are way too many puppies being brought into this world by people just out to make a fast buck.

What breed is she?

Catza · 12/09/2024 07:59

What does he mean “the mother will do everything”? Yeah, she will feed them and clean up after them for a couple of weeks and then it is over to you. Piss on furniture and the carpet, chewing all your possessions… “The mother” is not going to book a vaccination appointments and take them to a vet, will she?
We wanted to breed at one point but my partner is at work all the time and I didn’t mind and we had space for an enclosure. We met the sire and then my partner did some research and said “this will be too much work for you and I won’t be able to help much” so he vetoed it. And probably for the best. This is what I would expect a loving and caring partner to say. Not call you selfish.

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 12/09/2024 08:07

Your partner did this deliberately - and if he was my partner, he’d be done. Pregnancy in dogs is serious.

You need to take the dog to the vet and get the pregnancy terminated.

But otherwise your partner is talking total shit (former vet here). It’s a nightmare raising a litter. Doing it properly costs about £10K - health checks, scans, worming, flea treatment and vacs for puppies. Then you have the cost of the set up for a whelping pen etc. You have to be there 24/7 basically cleaning the whelping pen to stop diseases etc - and also if you don’t your house will smell like shit.

And that’s not even considering the fact that sometimes mothers kill their pups. Or they die. Or they are complications that leave your dog worse than dead.

Stressybetty · 12/09/2024 08:07

Agree the mother won't do everything. Having a litter is a lot of work and stress and worry. Also hard work advertising, vetting owners etc. Take her to the vets to get her checked over. If she's pregnant they can spay.

Fireandflames · 12/09/2024 10:14

Emergency spay!. Poor dog.

JSMill · 12/09/2024 10:47

It's absolutely not true the mother will do everything. I was only 6 when our dog had pups but I remember how much work it was for my mum. She even had to enlist the help of a neighbour. It's totally unfair on you and it does sound planned from what your partner is saying.

KimberleyClark · 12/09/2024 11:17

Has the vet verified the pregnancy? It could be a phantom one.