Why are so many people nasty to each other on here

[CamFoz]

Honestly, I have never been on a forum where people say such nasty things to each other. Fair enough, I haven't been on many forums, but users on MN will write a whole paragraph trashing each other. The judgemental attitudes on here are atrocious, most of the time over quite menial things. Do people really have that much time on their hands for this?

One woman's mean is another woman's telling you like it is/proffering an opinion
Particularly in aibu - and PPs think you are bu
Then there are those posters who flounce off because they don't like the replies, or argue with anyone who proffers a different opinion. Those set people off, naturally
And hormones, kids, DH/Ps, MIls, SILs, FILs, teachers, friends, all contribute to surges of anger, frustration and murderous feelings

I think it depends which part of mumsnet you find yourself on (you’d need to have thick skin to start a thread on AIBU) but generally speaking, I really like it <shrugs>

Do you not realise that there's a thread about this every few days?

Yes, sometimes people are unpleasant. You can challenge it and report anything which is a personal attack and it will be deleted.

Some people claim nastiness because they can't deal with disagreement and robust responses.

Some people are deliberately provocative and other people fall for it.

There's also a lot of genuine support and kindness.

Mumsnet is full of contradictions I think posters just want to take the moral high ground whatever the topic is. For example there was a thread recently about somebody being off sick from work twice in six months cue A LOT of replies ‘I wouldn’t be impressed if I was your employer. I have not had one single absence in seven years.’ Yet hop on to another thread with hundreds of posters proclaiming how SELFISH it is for anybody to leave the house with so much as sniffle.

I think there are lots of deeply unhappy women on here.

That doesn't excuse their cruelty.

I think there are also lots of people who react badly when they realise that MN isn't necessarily an echo chamber for their views.

@Screamingabdabz It certainly was not worse!

Surely there are better things you can do than argue with strangers... as if you need the opportunity, just choose not to.

And don’t forget about the men! 😂

This is what I assume

In what way?

Again, some might see assuming something like that also as mean or unkind.

Yes, I'm sure it was my turn to post this this week

Mumsnet do not have good enough monitoring. This could be down to lack of staff but that's why.

I'm on another forum.
On that forum, you are allowed to attack the post, you are not allowed to attack the poster at all.

So if you call a poster any names, you will be removed from that thread.

On that forum, hey have thread bans, which works well.
So if someone is bullying someone on a certain thread, you can be banned on that thread

Here on mumsnet they don't do that. They just delete posts.

Well there's arguing and there's debating, and quite frankly it's up to the individual how they spend their free time.

This

😂

Actually MNHQ will remove 'bullying' posts as 'not in the spirit'

That's how you see/define a 'better thing'. But as this thread has shown, everyone's circumstances are different, interests are different, what makes them happy/sad/angry is different.
The site is moderated, posts are removed if they break guidelines. OK, not consistently applied, but it's there and anyone can report any poster on behalf of another or themselves
Maybe we all need access to one of those places where you can go and break glass/smash TVs and furniture to dissipate our aggression. But generally, we are better at barbs and bitchiness - there are some amazingly cutting, witty posters!

Honestly, I have never been on a forum where people say such nasty things to each other

Fair enough, I haven't been on many forums

Your second statement explains the first.

Well, true, I guess.

This is so true.

It's a balance. People need to be free to call posters out on stupid or ridiculous statements. If someone says that there is nothing wrong with feeding your 4 month old pureed McDonalds, or that the world is flat, or that they regularly drink drive, then you cannot expect the "you do you hun, happy mum happy baby" nonsense.

Robust challenge and debate is fine, but it's very easy to do this respectfully and politely without name calling and bitchiness. Too often posters pop into threads to post wee gems like "you're not very nice, are you" or "no wonder you have no friends, you have no social skills clearly" or "haven't you got a hobby or anything better to do?" - just nasty little digs which add nothing to the discussion.

Yes but they don't ban the user from the thread.

A lot of other forums use "thread bans" which works well.

It stops the poster from posting in that particular thread again

Sometimes it can be really good here but it's rare. I kind of hate this forum honestly because of how nasty it gets.