Feeling guilty for what DC eats. Normal mum or lazy mum?

[Violetangels]

Am I a lazy mum. I feel bad. Friend chatting about all the amazing things she cooks and bakes her toddler.

DC is 1 and 1/2. He’s very fussy with textures and has been since weaning. We also had lots of issues with breastfeeding, although managed to sort them but took months.

I work and so does DH. We have a lot of travelling and leave the house at 6:30am, both get home at around 6:30pm.

During the week DC will have cooked dinner at nursery / grandparents, but at home for tea I usually just do him something quick as he goes to bed at 7:30. Tonight was a cheese sandwich, them baby crisps you can buy and a banana. He then has a bottle at 7pm.

He refuses all foods like soup, spag bowl, pasta dishes. We’ve tried constantly from 6months old. No matter what home cooked meal I make, he struggles with a lot of textures and they can upset him. I offer them often to ensure he has exposer, but most of the time he will only eat dry / crispy things. This is what he ate Saturday:

Wheetabix with mashed fruit. Blueberry and kiwi or banana usually.
Snack fruit / yogurt
Lunch Cheese sandwich, chicken bites, no salt crisps and fruit
snack something like a baby biscotti
dinner fish cake, broccoli and potatos. A Heinz baby custard for pudding.

Other than the fruit/veg everything else he eats is pre packaged, he never eats any food that I make from scratch.
Friend made a comment about me should start making more of his foods and now I feel awful this evening.

Thank you. We had issues with him putting anything in his mouth, even breast feeding, he had a severe bottle aversion and I think that it is the reason he is fussy now x we are trying to be relaxed about it whilst also still put these foods on his plate but he would 100% starve himself than try some foods

I had severe decade of a journey but kept patient as a saint and careful what people are telling me and what I take in from them....they start opening more to various foods as they grow up. If you would like the details of my professional, she does zoom as well, PM

At a year and a half you still seem to be feeding him like a young baby. Whats with all the mashed fruit, baby crisps, baby biscotti, baby custard etc?

I just mean like chopped / mixed together fruit in his breakfast. For puddings it’s usually yogurt, jelly or Ella’s kitchen / Heinz puddings that have no added sugar in. Baby crisps are the 12+ month ones and the biscotti ate 18+ month ones I found in sainsburys the other day

Toddlers can be incredibly fussy! The best tip I ever got was to put a tiny piece of a new food (something you want them to eat) on their plate every day. Make sure there is a 'safe' food available too, and don't comment at all if they refuse the new food.

It can take a looooooong time, but they'll usually get curious and try it eventually. I still use this method with my 3 year old when he's going through a fussy stage. Don't stop if they don't like it the first time they try it, sometimes it can take a few nibbles before they eat it properly.

I did this with my fussy 12 year old just yesterday with scrambled egg. (He only like soft boiled). He haaated it- more the texture than the taste. But I’ll do it again for him to do a little try again and hopefully it builds up like it has with chicken

If you leave the house at 6.30am who is giving him breakfast? What time do you have to wake him up at? And what would a typical weekday breakfast be for him?

You’re doing absolutely fine. I actually had the opposite issue with my dd in terms of what she would eat as she would only eat home cooked food (but it had to be my food and not the same thing from a restaurant) and 3 meals on rotation. Nothing solid apart from toast. I cried when she ate a nugget at 2.5 as I could actually take her out for food. I also talked to someone the other day, who knows a grown man, who hardly ate food, existing mostly on milk until her was 7! He eats normally now apparently. At your ds’s age, food is food and as long as he’s eating, it’s all good.

With vegetables: have you tried letting him touch and play with whole vegetables (eg carrots, a red pepper, a small cucumber, broccoli) without any requirement or even suggestion of eating them? Just unloading your shopping and helping you to sort them could be a way to gradually make them a bit more familiar and to take away the pressure of the table.

This is so normal OP. You have a very busy life, take it easy x

OP , you are doing a great job. Don't beat yourself up . Parenting is bloody hard work at the best of times.

OP I would actually be pleased if my teen with huge sensory difficulties ate all of what you have described!

@somereallyniceadvice who did you see who sorted everything so quickly? Thanks

Seems fine but why the bottle? A bottle with a teat? Cows milk? If so that should go.

That is the case, sis
Don't worry. As long they eat

Normal. My youngest is really fussy, I try not to compare myself to other people, make sure he gets a good bit of fruit and veg (well, cucumbers and frozen peas!) and just look at the fact that he's still growing and very healthy and active as proof that we're not doing too badly! It's normal. They are sent here to try us, just try and roll with it x

Iv always given my kids what I'm eating or freezer meals think nuggets and chips, fish fingers pizza etc but they don't have texture issues so aslong as he's eating and your getting some fruit and veg in their I'd saying your doing well

I swear my child only ate plain pasta for a week once. Its all they'd eat

Mine love this me included with grated cheese on top and ketchup 🙈

Ps the bottle fairy had to come and replace the bottle with a lovely pink "non spill" cup at that age

Yup, I hear that! After many years of patiently trying mine will now accept about a tablepoon of sauce mixed in, provided there are no visible green bits or lumps. Sigh

Mine just about accepted different shaped pasta and I was so happy haha we haven't progressed to sauce yet

Don’t listen to the people saying you should just give carrot sticks. They don’t know your child and his sensory issues. obviously most of us would give carrot sticks if we could! You’re doing fine. Focus on feeding your child what you can and don’t make it a big deal.

Very normal, average diet. Seen way worse. Those munchkin no spill cups were our go-to from 1-3.

That sounds quite exciting 😂

I think the key is to offer the veg/exciting thing Just pop it on the side. On a seperate plate if that helps. Then don't make a fuss over it just talk about your day. If they don't eat it fine take it away.