Do some mums just not like working?

[Dragontooth]

I know this sounds awful, and judgey but I'm trying to understand. I am not a benefit basher and I used to be on benefits, also a single parent.
I'm on a lot of 'being skint' forums, I was on UC but now I have quite a lot of experience in various things so I like to try to help.
There are a number of mums who were previously on legacy benefits who are terrified by UC and the work search appointments. Lots who are unemployed and some who do very part time jobs, 10 hours or less.
I don't understand why they are so resistant to finding work or better paid work. Having been on benefits, it is a horrible existence. I was paid £850 per month. Clearly it would only take a MW part time job to make me so much better off. And they pay for childcare/ holiday club.
It literally changes your life. You can pay for things to have a better, easier life like driving lessons. Not only that but you are back in the work place so it's not such a shock when your children leave home.
I feel these women are so anxious, they can't see how their lives could look with more money/ options. Not only that but a lot of them have their heads in the sand about retirement, will we even get a state pension? Then there's the fact that it's so much harder getting back into employment after five or ten years out, I think that's what UC wants to avoid. I'm not saying it's a kind or person centred system but in reality is taking years out of the workplace really in these women's best interests either?
Disability/ disabled children obviously excluded.

It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about mums who don’t work, everyone has a choice to work or not to work who has the right to have a say on anyone else’s business. Nobody knows what is going on in anyone else’s life.

Sounds like you have just had good luck.

Completely agree with this. Life is much more fulfilling with a job. Too many people using the labels 'anxiety and/or depression' as an excuse not to work.

Just loving the people here saying motherhood is hard and work is shit, well yeah. Tell us something we don't know 🙃

Most of us crack on anyway.

What about the ones who don't give you shifts? Are they nice?

This thread is both depressing and (I think) unintentionally hilarious - Air bnb lady and white lily especially. I choose not to work because I have a lot of assets and cash - wouldn't we all!

I think it’s a money vs time thing. If you work you have more money, if you don’t you have the time to care for your family and yourself in a far more relaxed way.

I’m a single mum, when mine were little I worked term time hours. I lived on less money but it was far less stressful as I had time at home when it was needed. Although mine are older now I find working full time a lot more stressful because I am time poor.

My worry if I didn't work (60s here) is the impact on financial security in old age. Many might think not paying very much into an occupational pension won't matter as they can rely on their partner's salary (but couples can separate, trust me) or state pension (looking very unlikely).

To quote myself - I don't mean I have lots of assets and cash, I was paraphrasing the other posters (before I get jumped on!) sadly I have no choice but to work 40 hours a week to pay for, you know, the stuff we live on and live in.

Tbf I was better off on benefits. It's not just the income payment but all the things that go with it such as uniform grants holiday food payments, free school meals, council tax and housing benefit (legacy obviously for the latter) glasses, dentist no commuting costs the list goes on. I've now been working 2 jobs for several years, I'm exhausted and skint. I can see the attraction tbh

Oh and i didn't even mention childcare costs

No it's really not.

Some people have no choice.

I definitely wasn't. I'm nearly £1000 better off per month working.

Not true, I have no qualifications and I wfh 3 days a week, customer services job.

What on earth?!
Do you feel better about yourself for typing that?

As I said, work is a necessity
not having to work is luxury.

I completely agree. That's my point.

But it doesn't explain people who are on UC using childcare as an excuse.

Working class women have ALWAYS worked. It's simply not true that most women stayed at home in the past, that has always been a luxury for those who could afford it.

Who says it is an excuse? The lack of availability is a real issue.

8am to 5.30pm is still adequate for a working week if you work 4.5 days spread over 5 or condense your hours to work only 30 minute break times.

I have a 12 hour a day job and between my husband and I, we use before and after school club. I pick up and then work from home.

I just get bored of people saying because there isn't an absolutely perfect solution provided by the Government or a subsidised private contractor that they won't use it. Life isn't perfect but we make do with what we have and try and change the offering.

I get what you are saying but a few key things - you have a husband (not everyone does) you can wfh (not everyone can) and not all jobs offer perfect condensed hours. There definitely are barriers. I'm a lone parent and I've been extremely lucky to find flexible work, when DS was younger I had simply nobody to help, I don't own a car either so had to walk and use public transport to work.

Repeating it doesn't make it true.

For some of us not working is the opposite of a luxury and being able to work is a privilege.

The ones I know of certainly aren't, no.

My child's school only has a breakfast club (before you say why did I choose that school. It was the best in the area) and no proper after-school care. Just 45 minutes clubs. One nursery does offer it but there is a big waiting list. Before you dismiss other people's reasons consider that many areas don't have the provision that yours does.

It's definitely not just mums. My childless brother hasn't worked for seven years.