To send a birthday text at 6pm

[Trufflebutter24]

It’s my cousins little boys birthday today. I see my cousin as an older sister and love her and her son and see them often.
Today was her sons 2nd birthday and I had planned to ring this morning but we were late on the school run and I didn’t get a chance.
I had the most intense day at work, and I could have text her during the day but I wanted to call and so I waited till I got home and text the minute I got in.

My kids got home at 7, I rang as soon as they got in but expected it would be too late, so sent a video of us singing.

The only response I got was “too late?”. To which I apologised.

I know feel absolutely terrible, I didn’t forget the day but now maybe she thinks I did? I’m sitting beating myself up now.

Am I out of order?

They might not make it to their birthday. It's bad luck

Probably would have been better to do a video the night before ready to send.

If you are messaging after bedtime better saying hope he had a lovely day etc

The only other option is if you said it was too late to call when you sent the video? What did you say when you sent it?

This is possibly the most ridiculous thing I've read all day...

Seriously if that's your argument you've lost the argument.

What a horrible woman (your cousin, not you).

I usually always text/call in the evenings.

The mornings are manic and I wouldn’t want to disturb anyone trying to get young kids ready for school.

I’m not allowed my phone on me at work.
I sometimes check it at the end of the shift but don’t respond/text anyone as I want to get home.

I can then ring in the evening knowing they’ll be home and we can talk properly.

If it’s a weekend then it’s different and I’ll text earlier.

I do try and send a quick message in the morning but it depends if I’ve got time or if I know it’s someone that’s going to be awake early.

Absolutely this!

It's fine not to be arsed but it's not fine to not acknowledge it's a last minute rush job

Probably the only person on here sticking up for the mum of the 2 year old. Of course he doesn't know or care about what / when / why birthday messages are sent.
The mum felt hurt , so leashed out at you.
I actually get it.
To HER it was special , her DC turning 2.
Even a tiny, one line text, acknowledging Birthday first thing, saying you call when you get home from work tonight would have sufficed.
Recently had a big milestone Birthday.
My parents, both retired and never fussed / cared about anyone's Birthday ( so one should know ) finally called me at 8.30pm.
Still hurts, despite being an old adult and can TOTALLY relate to mum of 2 year old but MNetters can't.
It's not about the 2 year old, it's the mum.

He's two, she could just show him the message in the morning he'll never know it was after he went to bed😂

You're not the only one

Your cousin is very rude. 6pm perfectly acceptable.

You didn't do anything wrong. I'm close with my cousins. See them regularly. Couldn't tell you their children's exact birthdays but if I see a post on social media I wish them a happy birthday or occasionally attend a birthday party. The response was over the top. You did good to remember and text. The kid is 2. They won't even care.

She was rude but for what it’s worth it takes 30 seconds to send a text.

The mum got a message, on his birthday. Of course your child’s birthday is special to you, for many reasons. Whether it’s a ‘major’ or (to others) the more insignificant ages in between - and 2 isn’t a major one. But this hand wrangling about needing to hear ‘happy birthday to your child’ within the hour you get up or it’s meaningless is very OTT. Some people have large families, remembering every cousin’s birthday with a text first thing would be a ridiculous ask. We’re in the first full week of school return, those with older kids are in a bit of a manic stage of restating routines never mind having a busy work day on top. A message on the day to a child who has no clue it’s their birthday is respectful enough to the parent from a cousin. It wouldn’t be completely rude of a grandparent who may still have a full day’s work in this day and age. You (and a couple of others) are projecting.

Your cousin is being unreasonable. You sent a message and you are giving them a card and gift at their party. You have done nothing wrong.

This is way too much headspace to give to a 2 year old's birthday. His mum needs to get a massive grip.

What age is it enough headspace? How do you teach a child they are important if not though these special days? What's the point of a birthday if it's not to make someone feel special?

It's up to his parents to do that. I really don't think it should depend on a text from extended family before a certain time of day.

Christ WTF is wrong with some people? He's 2 he won't have given a fiddlers elbow that you haven't been in touch today, thsi sort of thing drives me mad! Plus he's having his party at the weekend which you're going to & just illustrates how arbitrary birthdays are

She's being ridiculous & precious

As you say messages can be misinterpreted. It could be
'too late ...you didn't bother texting earlier'
'Too late... he s just gone to sleep. Speak later'.
Personally id try not to be worried about it. Sometimes people can be precious about their kids and expectations if others.

Plus he's having his party at the weekend which you're going to & just illustrates how arbitrary birthdays are

And absolutely this.

Again, what child has ever felt their birthday was marred because a parent’s cousin didn’t acknowledge their birthday during the day? If it’s only special ‘on the day’, why is the party/gift giving on the weekend?

Only adults get irritated if birthdays aren’t noted during the day itself because a simple ‘happy birthday’ is the most they’ll get outside of immediate family. Kids old enough to recognise their birthday are happy because they have presents to open or party to celebrate, they couldn’t give a flying monkeys beyond that.

Some people have literally fucking little to worry about. And I don’t mean the OP.

I think this thread is classic mumsnet. I read the OP thinking "you are massively over thinking this". A couple of sensible people suggest a misunderstanding and the others divide between terrible advice to escalate things/make awkward passive aggressive responses or insane "you didn't care enough, how awful of you not to put this child top of your priorities today" madness.

Can't imagine how much of an entitled wanker you have to be to get uptight about a birthday message being sent at 6pm on the sodding day.