To send a birthday text at 6pm

[Trufflebutter24]

It’s my cousins little boys birthday today. I see my cousin as an older sister and love her and her son and see them often.
Today was her sons 2nd birthday and I had planned to ring this morning but we were late on the school run and I didn’t get a chance.
I had the most intense day at work, and I could have text her during the day but I wanted to call and so I waited till I got home and text the minute I got in.

My kids got home at 7, I rang as soon as they got in but expected it would be too late, so sent a video of us singing.

The only response I got was “too late?”. To which I apologised.

I know feel absolutely terrible, I didn’t forget the day but now maybe she thinks I did? I’m sitting beating myself up now.

Am I out of order?

I’d say ‘Sorry, appreciate he may be in bed already but it’s still his birthday and I’ve had a very long day without being made to feel guilty on top. I’m sure he’s had a wonderful day and will catch up with you guys soon’. Acknowledge that you’ve let it slip slightly, explain your own side without apology (because long days happen!) and end with a ‘let’s move on’.

I think its alot worse for someone to think they have been forgotten about that get a mesage the next morning.

You'd hate our house...birthdays last several days and thats not a problem at all. My kids know they only have one birthday but celebrations inevitably last several days fitting family members in to see and deliveries being not exactly on birthdays.

She can just play it tomorrow sure. But did OP acknowledge that? If not it's a bit like "technically I got the happy birthday in before the deadline" but it's a bit shit not to acknowledge it's too late for the child imo.

I wouldn’t have apologised. You sent the birthday greeting on his birthday, if he was already in bed, he can listen to it tomorrow.

Absolutely no issue with that as long as it's acknowledged that's what's happened. A video saying happy birthday sent last minute on the birthday when they're asleep is pointless. A "I hope you had a lovely birthday yesterday" is different.

Sure I'd rather someone didn't bother than snuck one in while I was asleep. I don't care that much so they might as well not bother.

Its a Tuesday she must know you have kids/school run. Work and all the normal things. She is just being selfish . Sometimes my kids get msg/cards days later . People are busy .

I don't think a two year old will think he's been forgotten of his mums cousin doesn't send a message at all. I think of the two (send late/don't send) getting a singing video is more confusing - mine took ages to understand one day for a birthday/not your birthday/someone else's birthday so I wouldn't have played a message after the day just to make my life easier.
It's not a big deal but I think a pp is right and a late hope he had a lovely day would have been good.

The child is two, he doesn’t care.

Yeah but the thought here is oh shit I need to get a happy birthday in before midnight.. its odd

When will he care? 3?4? How will he learn to care if no one else does. Will they just celebrate their birthday all month?

Ok so all the stuff the OP does in real life for this child to show him she values him and his mum means fuck all and she obviously doesn't care because she didn't send a text earlier in the day...

This level of nitpicking is bonkers.

She possibly meant he was already in bed, but I find her response very rude

He can learn to understand that it’s absolutely ok for someone to acknowledge your birthday a little late, and it’s not a big drama that you should be rude to people about.

Did you send a birthday card or did you not bother?

Text her back saying your auto correct amended your thank you.

The only bit I don't get is that you could have text in the day but wanted to ring. But then text the minute you got in from work. So could have sent a text earlier?
Either way, yanbu. It's the same day. You're later but not late. We all have our lives to be getting in with and the world doesn't stop for other people's birthdays.

She is very rude

I don't know about you but no-one told me birthdays only last till a certain time in the evening! I wish I new sooner .
I feel some sort of rules should have been published.

And as an adult you’re entitled to feel that way. A two year old isn’t going to even remember turning two, never mind hold a grudge about who messaged him in daylight hours to wish him a happy birthday. - birthday message for a child who was 1 yesterday is only for the parents’ sake, and the parent in this case got the message on the day itself.

Did you send a birthday card and present or
do you do that separately?
Life happens and yanbu. But if you and your cousin are like sisters she may have felt slighted on her child’s behalf. People tend to get upset far more easily if it’s to do with their kid being forgotten or wronged in some way.
The video was a sweet idea. Say you’re truly sorry and you hope your nephew had the most lovely day and move on. Hopefully your cousin will do so too.

Just reply with 'DC so wanted to send a singing message but didn't get home til 7: we hope he had a lovely day! ' and leave it.
An end of the day message is neither ideal nor the end of the world.

Such poor manners on their part, awful. Ignore!

Her response is odd and rude, but yes 7pm is a bit late for a 2 year old. A quick text from work saying "Hope he's having an amazing birthday - we had a chaotic morning but we'll call later" would have let her know you hadn't forgotten.