School banning banter

[Citrusblast92u]

DS is in year 11. They had a whole school assembly yesterday's entitled 'banning bants', this includes banter between friends. One strike and they're in detention, 2 and they have to attend a workshop, 3 and parents have to attend the workshop, 4 and the police are called.

I asked him what they meant by bants and he said anything that anyone might find offensive. His mates have spent many hours at our house. They're a lovely bunch of lads, very polite and kind but their main form of communication with each other is piss taking.

Just after some opinions really rather than an AIBU.

Yabu-banter should be banned
Yanbu-they can't ban banter

A lot of male banter is a vocalisation of toxic masculinity. I caught my 11 year old boy saying “smash or pass” the other day and told him that’s not on, and why.

Then it’s a learning curve. This is the same in just normal communication. It’s not limited to banter.

On the face of it, not a bad idea. In the practice? who is going to decide if it's banter or if it's an in joke or that nobody is offended?

Teachers are moaning all the time about the extras they do, this on top of all the sock, blazer and jumper monitoring won't leave them any time to do their actual jobs.

I think you’re missing the message from the school. It isn’t just kids joking about and having a laugh. It’s a specific type of offensive language they aim at others under the guise of “banter”. It is often teenage boys aiming it at vulnerable boys or girls. When they are challenged on this it is “just banter”. The school I imagine will target specific groups too but they have delivered a blanket message to everyone. You can have banter with your friends when you have a really close bond and you understand each others humour, it isn’t banter when it’s directed at others who are not finding it funny. It is bullying.

That type of “banter” is common in schools and I suspect why the ban has been put in place.

Then absolutely hold these to account. This would be classed as bullying & should be dealt with as this

Don’t punish the rest. Friends having banter is generally not sexist/homophobic bullying.

The thing is, the school wouldn't be bringing this up if it wasn't a significant problem. They don't go out of their way to bring in more policies and rules for the craic if everything is working. So a significant number of students or teachers mustve addressed this as a problem!

Everyone is too easily offended.

They need to remember we have free speech in the uk and then remind pupils of the exceptions to that (hate speech etc), not impose a blanket ban.

Do you think the teachers are going to go around monitoring every conversation between friends at lunch time to make sure it's appropriate? No! There is now a known system in place if students come forward after being offended by something, or if another teacher or student overhears something offensive! I don't see why that's a problem?

Exactly!

Wrong- friends having banter often has a homophobic anti autistic
element amongst boys . It’s trendy to knock autism-“that’s so autistic” and anything that “looks” gay amongst boys. This can happen in primary schools.

Do you think they’re going to go round checking they’re respecting the banter ban🤣 No!

Offending people isn’t a right or free speech.

This.

This isn’t my experience. Sorry it’s yours.

🤣🤣

That’s bullying not banter. Pull those people up for bullying.

But if none of those said boys are offended then it’s not a problem. We don’t get to decide what other people do and don’t find offensive. We can only ever speak from our own experiences and that of people we know well.

A big issue seems to be…
what one finds offensive is water off a ducks back for another. That can’t be fixed..that’s the way life is. Different personalities, different characters, different sensitivities. Not all people who are subject to banter feel like victims.

The films should be banned immediately.

Once again. You’re missing the message from the school. Teenage boys are using offensive and derogatory language under the guise of “banter”. They are not saying do not laugh or joke with your friends. They are clamping down on toxic masculinity.

It is still a problem. Because “gay” becomes a slur. “Autistic” becomes a slur. It becomes a widespread term of abuse, like “spastic” did in the 1970s.