To feel a bit conflicted about declining a kind invite while travelling?

[Kindkitty]

I’ve just arrived in Lille for a short break and while getting off the Eurostar, I met a lovely woman from London who’s also here. We walked to our hotels together and exchanged numbers. Out of the blue, via text, she just invited me to join her tomorrow night for an aperitif at her hotel’s rooftop bar (her treat) and then to head out to dinner together.

Here’s the thing - I already have plans for tomorrow night that I’m really excited about and I’m not keen on changing them. Part of me feels a bit guilty though for not accepting her friendly gesture, especially since we just met, and it’s rare to click with someone so quickly while travelling solo.

AIBU to politely decline, or should I try to fit this in somehow? Would you feel bad turning down such an invite?

Could you invite her along to whatever you have planned?

Omg I was thinking the exact same thing.

It's giving "baby reindeer vibes".

You never really know with people

Note to self:

RTFT! 🤣🤣📝

Sorry if not read the whole thread ignore my last suggestion after the F off !

I hope you don't bump into her on the way back

That's what the OP said she was hoping wouldn't happen, too.

That's what the OP said she was hoping wouldn't happen, too.

It made me laugh a bit as it made me think of something.

I'm on holiday now myself. Our flight was cancelled on the way over and we were all put in a hotel instead, the first night in the UK , near the airport. The flight was rearranged for the next day

I got chatting to a woman who was also on the flight. We were just chatting about how the flight had been canceled.

Then we went our own way, and went to the hotel at totally different times.

And we bumped into each other again down in the lobby. And said hello again.

Then the next day I went to the airport to check in.

Later on I was in the main security queue. I was With people from hundreds of different flights. She was there right in front of me in the queue again. We said hello again

Then we went our separate ways again.

Then when I got on the plane. She was sitting right next to me! I kept bumping into her over and over. We laughed about it alot.

Haha that’s funny. Hopefully if you see her again she doesn’t ask you back to her hotel for drinks 🤣

Am I the only one to suspect this woman isn’t lonely or looking for a holiday companion but fancied the OP?

That’s what I think from the tone she took after she perceived to have been rejected.

even if that’s not the case she’s an absolute arsehole. You are well out!

Part of the fun of travelling is meeting people....

...and this person has told OP to fuck off. How much fun is that?

Blimey she sounds a bit unhinged. What a bizarre response. Good job you didn't befriend her! You were right to feel something was off! 🤪

FFS. This is another woman who has invited her for a friendly drink in a public place. It’s not weird or scary. No wonder people are bloody lonely these days.

I probably wouldn't nowadays but I was travelling solo on a train in Greece 40 years ago and I had accommodation booked but was slightly unsure of how to get there. I met a lovely old greek lady on the train - neither of us spoke the other's language - and I ended up going to her house, she sent me out to buy bread, we had lunch together and her brother drove me to the next town to get a bus to my destination! Before mobile phones etc but I often think fondly of her.

If you’d like to spend more time with her, just say you can’t make the suggested meeting time, but suggest another?

If you’re finding it a bit weird, just say you have a packed schedule but thank you for the invitation.

Exactly, trouble is there are so many awful things you hear about or TV series about these kind of things you feel like it’s everywhere. It isn’t. Just explain you have plans and could do another evening if you can. To come away for a short trip surely that would be expected.

Did you meet her on the way back?

Her response to your polite decline was not normal.

Hope you're ok!

What an absolute weirdo. I'm keen to hear if you bumped into her again.

Absolutely bizarre. Rings of the "well why were you flirting with me then?" I got from the odd idiot bloke in my youth that I misled by touching my hair or saying hello or whatever.

Good grief (the F Off message). I should guess she was hoping for a holiday romance and thinks you were stringing her along by being friendly. Thank goodness you didn't change your plans to meet her!

I reckon she had a quick scroll through AIBU while she waited for your reply. And found this thread, which is pretty outing!

Wow. What do u suppose would happen if she wanted to join this woman for dinner? I've spent a lot of time travelling and it's hardly weird or odd to invite someone. Nothing wrong with declining the invite if you are busy ior don't fancy it.

I'm still friends with a guy I met travelling in 2013. Met up with him and his family recently

I think your instincts are spot on, OP. When I read your initial post, I couldn't understand your unease, either with the invitation or declining it. Spontaneous invites like this are one of the great things about solo travel and someone's got to take the initiative.

However I reckon you've subconsciously picked up on something "off" about her - subsequently borne out by her batshit response to your perfectly polite message declining her invitation.

Narcissistic personalities are good at forming rapid connections using flattery and love bombing, but if you don't play ball, they get enraged. She was maybe a few drinks down too.