To feel a bit conflicted about declining a kind invite while travelling?

[Kindkitty]

I’ve just arrived in Lille for a short break and while getting off the Eurostar, I met a lovely woman from London who’s also here. We walked to our hotels together and exchanged numbers. Out of the blue, via text, she just invited me to join her tomorrow night for an aperitif at her hotel’s rooftop bar (her treat) and then to head out to dinner together.

Here’s the thing - I already have plans for tomorrow night that I’m really excited about and I’m not keen on changing them. Part of me feels a bit guilty though for not accepting her friendly gesture, especially since we just met, and it’s rare to click with someone so quickly while travelling solo.

AIBU to politely decline, or should I try to fit this in somehow? Would you feel bad turning down such an invite?

It's a public place, hotel bar, not her room.

I think it's a nice suggestion. Suggest just drinks pre dinner or another time?

It doesn't sound to me as if you want to go. Be honest with yourself. Do you really want to meet up with her?

I do agree with you. Although I do know some solo travellers that just want to be left alone in every way possible when abroad. Like the thought of other messing up their plans etc, makes them scream internally. I kinda get it, because I did think… nah, this will mess up my plans that I took the time the look up and plan.

In a way I think it’d be nice to meet up but I’d also like to do my own thing. I think it’s just a bit soon

I think you’re right. Like I said before it was nice to chat and stuff and we got on etc, but I wasn’t really planning or wouldn’t have actually asked for her number had she not asked me to put mine in her phone

Sorry I forgot to say, she actually asked me to go to dinner with her tonight, but via text, and when I said I was already at somewhere I had pre-booked, she then sent this invite

Yeah by clicking I meant we got on

😂 at the posters getting the wobbles at the idea of meeting a woman at a rooftop bar. But they could be anyone! You don’t know her! This person is a stranger!
Honestly, do you think OP should ask for a written invitation and a copy of a CV with three references ? How do you people make any friends?

If you don’t want to spend an evening with her maybe suggest you meet up for coffee or a glass of wine the day before you go back and you can compare notes that way?

If you don’t want to meet her, just write back and say sorry, you have plans for your trip and won’t have time to meet. Job done.

I don’t think they do make friends. This sounds a lot safer than OLD and nobody thinks that’s outrageous.

🤣🤣 I’m not sure if the poster that said that, saw that I wrote this was a hotel, as she mentioned going back to a random’s place

^I must be odd too. I'm always making friends with randoms while travelling.
I mean I wouldn't go to their basement for drinks driven there in their blacked out van. But a rooftop drink at a hotel? Yes.^

I'm the same, but then I'm a seasoned solo traveller.

I am too, this isn’t my first rodeo!

This isn’t a bad shout . It’s the only time I have room in all honestly, we’re both on the same evening Eurostar back

I’ve planned things for the day prior to getting the train but have some room

I think it was just a bit too soon, I’ve only been here 3h, and the text was really formal too

I think you are really overthinking this. I have been both you, and the other traveller in this situation. I do fairly often take the initiative to suggest doing something if I meet someone that I like, but I also really don't take it personally if they have something else on/don't fancy it. Just be straight up with her that you have other plans and then she can plan for herself.

Okey dokey

I voted UABU because you've given this way too much headspace - you've got plans for your holiday, and any sane person will understand that. If she doesn't, then you've had a lucky escape.

Can't you agree to meet up when back in the UK if you really wish to pursue the friendship?

Well thanks all.

So I went back and said that I had plans for tomorrow night, appreciate the offer etc. I said if our schedules aligned we could meet up another time while we’re here, and said that I hope she enjoyed the rooftop bar, sounds amazing etc.

she told me to F off! 🤣

Well you asked if people would feel bad for turning down an invitation and I have told you that I wouldn't and that also, that I wouldn't be upset if I had been the inviter.

Not really sure what you wanted from this thread.

Well now aren't you glad you were busy?

Oh dear! That is not what I was expecting. You dodged a bullet then....

Wait, what? What’s your issue? I didn’t say I had a problem with anything you or anyone else here said. Are you okay?

Could you ask her along to something?

I genuinely thought you were being sarcastic when you said 'okeydokey', sorry, my mistake