Another dad lost it at my kids

[Gymmum82]

So my kids and the neighbours kids all play out together regularly. Usually about 10 of them. We live in a small village, they are polite, well behaved, respectful kids. They only play on each others drives. Or in houses. Sometimes they will ride their bikes or scooters up and down the street. It’s a very quiet cul de sac.

They knock on each others houses to ask if they want to play out. Yes sometimes it can be a bit annoying if you’ve just sat down and there’s 5 kids banging on the door. But if you say not today. Or kids will be out later. They will go away and they won’t keep knocking.

Last weekend they are all playing out. About 5 or 6 of them. They go and knock on at another friends house who also plays out and the dad comes to the door and absolutely loses his shit. Shouting and screaming at them. All the kids come back in tears. Another parent went round to find out WTF happened and the dad said exactly what the kids said. They knocked on and he yelled at them. No apology nothing. Perfectly justified in his reaction.

I am absolutely livid, I’ve told my kids they are never to knock on again and his kid is not welcome in my home again. But I’m still seething. I will see him regularly and I want to call him out on his behaviour and tell him never to raise his voice to my children again. But AIBU?

i'm going to stick my neck out now... i suspect that the OP's children have been allowed to play out unsupervised and causing issues on the 'street' for some time, and they have in turn recruited other children to go out and play, and what was 2 annoying kids has now turned into 4.. and then more were recruited and now we have 10 lovely little darlings running amok in the street! and i'm going to guess that the bloke who has shouted was at the end of his tether with the kids running all over his lawn, kicking balls at his car, trampling flower beds and he's lost it!

I would send a message in the Whatsapp group "Can any adults that would like our children not to call on their children let us know on here, so as to avoid them being screamed at unnecessarily by grown men having a bad day? Thanks"

Between 6 and 10. No history. Only short normal conversations when seen out and about.

Actually yes now that I think about it, it does seem like there must be a reason behind him snapping like that. Possibly yes the children have begun making pests of themselves and he's reached the end of his tether.
It's also possible that they're not kids used to being told off so overreacted to it.

He is a dick and it's sad that so many posters are convinced that the kids somehow deserved it.

They actually don’t tend to play anywhere near his house. They play on the main part of the street and he’s kind of round a corner on the same street where they don’t really go. They definitely don’t run amok. If they did we’d know about it. Residents know where they all live and would certainly make it known if they weren’t happy

Like others I think continue to include the child.

I’m of an age when ‘playing out’ was what you did. I also remember balls etc. going in those neighbours gardens, you know the ones who’d lose their shit about it.

Suppose I’m saying the dad’s reaction was over the top, but I’ve been shouted at plenty by neighbours and I’m not mentally scarred. That’s all part of ‘playing out’, learning whats acceptable and what isn’t.

Don’t make a drama out of it

he shouldn’t have shouted but sometimes people shout It doesn’t harm children to experience this on occasion

tell your children not to knock on his door again and that’s it nothing else needs to be done

excluding the child is just ridiculously petty

His extreme anger is a problem. Children banging on doors is a problem. I’d so hate to have a load of kids banging on my door - it’s stressful.

I think the Dad was having a bad day and thought he would to take it out on some kids who are too small to answer back.

i feel annoyed when Jehovahs Witnesses, double glazing salesman and political parties come to my door. I dont yell though. At most i would put up a polite sign.

OP have you changed your mind about excluding his child?

I remember the angry dad in our street when i was a kid. Who started shouting when we laughed too loud or knocked the door on the wrong moment. Turned out later he hit his wife and kids, and she had to run and hide from him in a safehouse eventually. So just keep an eye on the wife and kids if they are alright or need any help.

I won’t exclude the child. I will just make it clear, which I have already that they are not to knock on that house again

my dad used to be the dad who shouted and yelled at the kids on the street... and the other kids laughed.. turned out he was disabled, took him forever to get up to the door, and the kids on the street thought it was funny to see him stumbling about..

not every man is a wife beater!

We had a man like this on our street. He was actually abusive to his own kids but we didn't realise as kids. He was a total fucker and we loved it when one of the Mums went round and bopped him in the face. I think absolutely call him out. Also I would be aware of how his kids are doing.

I wasn’t being funny, I just couldn’t understand the clarification when you addressed it and if it is that this guy is a massive prick (not saying he is, don’t know) then it’s nice to know his child can still find sanctuary at yours.

Please don't ban his kid from your house. My dad was the one yelling at the neighbourhood kids and beating his wife at home. I really needed time in other homes with normal families to have a break and learn about normal family behaviour.

Someone physically banging hard on your door can be quite alarming. My BIL does this every time he visits instead of ringing the bell and it makes me jump every time. No need for it. So 5 kids banging on the door at the same time would really piss me off, raise my anxiety and I would absolutely tell them off.

You have no idea what that man was going through the morning they all decided to bang his door down. He could have been working, feeling ill, on an important phone call....who knows. I don't imagine many people are just thinking 'oh its so LOVELY these kids are out in the street playing' when they're banging on their door every day. Maybe teach your kids some manners and consideration for other people.

I have to wonder how many people don't enjoy the screeching and shouting of the kids playing out front; after a summer of it his nerves may have been on edge. I know as a WFH person, I'm always relieved at season's end when school starts back up.

My Dad had episodes of poor mental health where he could not stand noise or people coming to the house unexpectedly..
Please don't exclude the child.

Yes and yes.

This man wouldn't have shouted at another man.

I firmly believe such an uninhibited display of anger and bullying means there is much more where that came from, and the child needs support.

such an uninhibited display of anger and bullying

Were you there? Because based on the OP, I have no idea whether it was an uninhibited display of anger and bullying, it just a guy telling kids of for bashing at his door (which OP has already admitted is irritating when all five knock).

Unless you were there, I don't know how you can be so certain of your version of events.

I wouldn’t ban his child from yours. Not the child’s fault.

All five children don’t need to knock, a big bang isn’t needed, do they know how to use a doorbell or one of them knock?

So if the situation was recorded and you watched it back I wonder what the truth would be?