To think my colleague is being creepy?

[notaurewhatusername]

I'm having trouble with a colleague. They keep doing things that feel too personal:

1. Always watching my calendar and asking about my meetings
2. Noticing where other managers are and how long they're away (for example commenting why one of the directors had been on their phone nearly an hour in the car park and was everything ok)
3. Asking where my car is when it's not in the car park and noticing what time of day I arrive frequently
4. Asking other staff why I went to the doctor because someone had mentioned I was in the office due to gp appointment

This behaviour makes me uncomfortable. It seems like they're not respecting personal space at work. They are someone I manage too, which I think makes it more out of line. I told someone I know outside of work and they said perhaps I'm being sensitive which is why I would like others opinions as I know how to deal with it but just want to make sure I'm not making something bigger than what it is.

Am I being unreasonable thinking this is creepy or do I need to relax?

Weird.
Go up to them. Look them in the eyes and tell them to back off.
See what happens and react accordingly.

Is this really a big deal - just because they ask (for whatever reason) doesn’t mean they need to be given the answers! Just shut them down and don’t engage when they ask (and keep answers broad) eg:

asking about your diary …. Were you looking for time with me today?
GP appointment … it’s not something that’s relevant to work
questioning The person in car park on the home … none of our business
anything else … is this effecting your/our ability to do our jobs? No - let’s not concern ourselves with it then

@LlamaLoopy I've already tried those kinds of responses yet the issue persists...

I think you really need to decide what you want here - a change in behaviour from this employee (and that’s what she is, NOT your colleague) or for no one to feel upset or awkward. You can’t have both. At the moment, you’re holding out for this to all be fixed without you having to do or say anything.

This is YOUR business. You presumably didn’t establish your own business by being a shrinking violet. You have to step up and take clear action. Hints about her behaviour being nosy aren’t working; she needs to be told outright. She’s also underperforming. You needs to address that too. I think there’s actually a correlation to be made between the two - perhaps less time spent wondering about why you haven’t driven in today or why Sharon was outside on the phone or why Keith came in at 10 instead of 9 yesterday would give her more time to pull your socks up.

It’s kind of you to want to keep the person who mentioned the doctor’s appointment out of it, but ultimately you might have to make a tough call and say this isn’t on. Can you even be sure Mrs Nosy hasn’t asked half the office rather than just the person who told you? You might not be dropping him in it at all.

You’re the one in charge here - it’s time to take that charge.

How is this woman a "colleague" then? Surely, if you own the company, you get to set the standards and dictate what does or does not cross the line for you - which this does - rather than some man telling you you're overreacting.

@thebluemask and @StockpotSoup yes I set the rules but I want to ensure the rules are fair hence why I posted! I wanted others opinions on the situation as I'm aware I'm not getting great advice at the moment.

The underperformance is already being addressed.