Neighbour lied they owned the house

[Fluffywalrus]

I need to share this somewhere because my partner keeps saying there could be some other explanation.. but I'm just flabbergasted!

I bought and moved into my home more than THREE YEARS ago. Because of the structure of the properties there's one neighbour whose home is very entwined with mine and whose property shares a lot of structural things with mine.

I made a point to knock on their door a few days after moving in to introduce myself and I remember we had a long chat and I came away with the understanding that she had bought that property several years before. I can't remember the exact words used but I remember being pleasantly surprised because I'd assumed it would be rented rather than the owner living there, which made things much simpler.

Since then we've had countless long friendly chats about work, partners, pets, holidays etc. and probably see her and exchange pleasantries a few times a week in the street. We also got to know her partner who moved in later.

A few days ago we bumped into her partner out and about and he told us they had moved out and bought somewhere. I was surprised that she wouldn't have said goodbye or mention they were leaving. We'd had various chats about plans for the summer and this was never mentioned. But most shockingly, when I asked about their plans for the property he said they just rent it and the lease was coming to an end. She didn't actually own it at all !!

Over the years I've consulted with her on various things I've done to the property renovation-wise, which might impact her and asked various questions regarding the property (due to her living there longer) and most recently got permission for some work that is due to happen in a few weeks. I'm at a complete loss of what to do now. At no point did she say anything to suggest she wasn't the owner e.g. 'I don't know as I'm just renting. I'll have to check with my landlord / the owner.' etc.

My partner thinks I must have just assumed wrongly. But surely even if she hadn't lied and it was a misunderstanding at some point in all these discussions she would have pointed out she didn't own this place?!

AIBU to think they're been misleading?

@StartingANewNameToday

What will happen when the people you rent from want to sell it though ?
I don't understand the affordability thing . Surely you work your way up the housing ladder so end up with no mortgage not dive straight into a rented big 4 bed ?

The rent must be more than the mortgage payments surely?

To me it's such a waste of money to be worrying every year if my 'home ' will still be mine or I have to leave

We all have different ideas for sure .

@leapinglizard1234 well if that happened then we'd have to find somewhere else to live, obviously. People who choose to rent aren't always a sandwich short of a picnic you know, dh and I are aware of the downsides! 😆

And yes, our rent payments now are significantly more than our mortgage payments were. I'm not sure what you don't understand about the affordability though tbh. We could afford to own a house in a shit area but wanted to move somewhere far nicer. We can't afford to own an equivalent house in our excellent area, which we wanted to move to. We COULD afford to buy a 2 bed in our lovely area, and all squish in but decided not to. We CAN afford to rent a 4 bed house in our area - which is the ultimate choice we made.

'Waste of money' is something that always gets thrown around about renters. To me, it's not a waste of money at all. We've paid to bring our dc up in a wonderful house in the best area, with the best schools, surroundings, facilities and quality of life. Wellbeing-wise, the benefits are off the chart for us all and the benefits will go far beyond the dc's childhood imo. I consider it an investment in our family and children and it's money I'd happily spend again if faced with the same choice 😊

Feel sorry for you that you are getting such a hard time here, folks are projecting their own issues onto you.

Of course she should have mentioned that she wouldn’t be there when the work was being done. She should have also mentioned that she’d likely have to run things by the actual owner.

I can completely understand why someone may not wish neighbours to know that they rent as I’m sure there’s plenty snobbery- but when it comes to things like this, you do need to be upfront. It was totally on her to have to own up to the white lie, as embarrassed as she may have felt. She’s lied and you might be facing major issues as a result. It’s really not ok

Of course it makes a difference in this case- the OPs work will likely be delayed and she could be out of pocket. Totally valid to be pissed off.

Final update just to say it's now resolved! Thank you for the helpful suggestions

Sent the letters and a letting agent got in touch to confirm that's ok.

I'm not 100% sure what to learn from this experience tbh. In future I think I would pay to check on the Land Registry who definitely owns the property before confirming permissions for works rather than taking the word of who's living there.. Especially as 58% of people who read this thread think lying about owning somewhere you rent is normal!

But then that would lead to a very awkward discussion with neighbours wouldn't it?

"Hi, I paid an online service to check if you really did own this place as you say and I now know you're lying. Please pass this request onto your landlord.'...

I found it totally bizarre the amount of people that seemed to think you were in the wrong and that also felt lying was acceptable in this circumstance. Glad you’ve resolved it

Especially as 58% of people who read this thread think lying about owning somewhere you rent is normal!

to be fair, as much as I don’t get the hysteria, and it was clearly always going to be fine, this comment did make me chuckle.

im also surprised at the people who lie, and try to justify it, pretending they own it when they don’t. Its a bit sad really.

Glad it's resolved and tbh I'd do the same too.

I guess what I'd do is just pass the paperwork over and see whose signature came back on it and take it from there...

I honestly think people aren't this wanky and would say something, despite the weird responses on this thread.

Wouldn’t the money you’ve spent on rent, saved up in a decent interest account helped you get further up the property ladder? Thus helping you in old age and also leave something to the kids?

I think that’s the issue really is a lot of people rent more than they can afford, so don’t wish to “downgrade”so they get stuck renting,

but I have to be honest, pretending you own it, is a bit odd for me. They will all find out soon enough, and that’s just embarrassing.unless you take the kids out of school and do a runner.

Glad to read it's sorted out, that must have been a relief.

Well done for getting it sorted OP! Did you put a letter through the door or a general letter to all the local letting agents? Just curious, but glad it worked out.

This is one of the most bonkers threads I've read on MN in a very long time. I have saved it in a file titled "Proof That Some Quite Dense People Are Only On Mumsnet To Have A Fight".

And thank you for updating! We always appreciate an update .

But ability to buy might not have coincided with ability to buy in the favoured area. Catchment areas can be a real bind. However, one could look at faith schools, which have much wider catchment areas and are often very good. It does require you to turn up at relevant place of worship occasionally, but that's probably cheaper than a mortgage.

OP you have too much time on your hands to be obsessing about other peoples lives, mate

Tell me you didn't read the updates on the thread, without telling me you didn't read the updates on the thread...

Did you mean to post on this thread?

I think it would have been fine in the sense that the real owner was unlikely to refuse to cooperate with the work, which I suspected. But there was a big risk that I wouldn't be able to agree that with the owner in time with only finding out I didn't have agreement with 4 working days to go and then having to track him down. I just really didn't want to lose the £1,500 deposit

I didn't send letters to every letting agent but I probably did still go a bit overboard sending letters to every possible address I could find connected to the owner as I didn't know how to reach him.

I did say in the letters 'I've sent a copy of this to X, Y and Z to ensure I reach you asap' so hopefully he didn't feel too bombarded.

Well done OP, really glad it’s worked out for you x

Wow there are a lot of people projecting here and choosing to assume you’re being a snob about your neighbours renting when that’s clearly not the case! (And I say this as a housing association tenant who has privately owned properties either side of me). On the contrary, it sounds like you are a thoughtful and responsible person who doesn’t want to inconvenience any new tenants that might move in while the scaffolding is up.

If you want to find more up to date contact details for the owner so you can contact them quickly, you could try looking online for estate agents advertising it (just google properties to rent on your street/postcode) or check your local council website for any historical planning applications for the address, which would show the applicant’s name and address. A bit of a long shot but worth a try. Good luck and ignore the haters!