Neighbour lied they owned the house

[Fluffywalrus]

I need to share this somewhere because my partner keeps saying there could be some other explanation.. but I'm just flabbergasted!

I bought and moved into my home more than THREE YEARS ago. Because of the structure of the properties there's one neighbour whose home is very entwined with mine and whose property shares a lot of structural things with mine.

I made a point to knock on their door a few days after moving in to introduce myself and I remember we had a long chat and I came away with the understanding that she had bought that property several years before. I can't remember the exact words used but I remember being pleasantly surprised because I'd assumed it would be rented rather than the owner living there, which made things much simpler.

Since then we've had countless long friendly chats about work, partners, pets, holidays etc. and probably see her and exchange pleasantries a few times a week in the street. We also got to know her partner who moved in later.

A few days ago we bumped into her partner out and about and he told us they had moved out and bought somewhere. I was surprised that she wouldn't have said goodbye or mention they were leaving. We'd had various chats about plans for the summer and this was never mentioned. But most shockingly, when I asked about their plans for the property he said they just rent it and the lease was coming to an end. She didn't actually own it at all !!

Over the years I've consulted with her on various things I've done to the property renovation-wise, which might impact her and asked various questions regarding the property (due to her living there longer) and most recently got permission for some work that is due to happen in a few weeks. I'm at a complete loss of what to do now. At no point did she say anything to suggest she wasn't the owner e.g. 'I don't know as I'm just renting. I'll have to check with my landlord / the owner.' etc.

My partner thinks I must have just assumed wrongly. But surely even if she hadn't lied and it was a misunderstanding at some point in all these discussions she would have pointed out she didn't own this place?!

AIBU to think they're been misleading?

Well if the OP wanted to buy it then this information might be useful 🤭 .

OP, I think a lot of people were incredibly triggered by the first few sentences and just started typing thinking this was a renter bashing thread.

Why in earth would they tell you they rented?

you complemented their home and they said thank you😂.

I imagine for most people it is entirely irrelevant. I only mentioned to our new neighbours that we rent because we were discussing house renovations.
If someone comes over and compliments the location and my home, I think it would be bloody odd to start waiving my tenancy agreement around.
Or did you think her house is less lovely now you found out she is renting it?

That is all really weird, also that she didn't mention they were moving. Maybe they had to go into witness protection?!!

As per other posters, try Companies House for the owners name, also check Rightmove and Zoopla for any last rental listings - the letting agent will be listed if so. Google the owner too as they may have other businesses.

Someone will be showing people round or checking on the property, so I'd put an urgent note through the door too.

It transpired they’d only rented it a few months and nothing in the way of decoration etc was to do with them.

If that was me, I’d say I rent it it’s not mine! It’s like leasing an expensive car through work and someone saying how smart it is etc . It seems disingenuous to agree when it’s not yours

The house was lovely in a very expensive area. It seemed a bit disingenuous, like taking credit for something you’ve borrowed.

So if you have a lease car and sometime says nice car you have to declare its leased😂😂.

you are being very silly.

I think you know what I mean… 😁

Reading your post, she seems generally dishonest. Just wave her off 👋🏼

Yeah we do. You are a snob, that's what you mean.

It's a pride thing , we have someone over the road who tells everyone they own the house when they rent it as I know the owners. She tells everyone they rent because they are waiting for inheritance! 🙄

It's all rubbish and they are just pretending they own it to keep face somehow .. very odd tbh but it seems to be a thing

Not a snob in the slightest. What a bizarre thing to say 😂 If anything being a snob is pretending you own a massive house when you don’t

When I visited a friends new house they had renovated I said how gorgeous it was, it took her ages and a lot of stress with tradesmen etc and it looked fantastic after the blood sweat and tears so me acknowledging how gorgeous it was was a reflection of her hard work.

It’s quite common it seems as when I think about it, I know someone else who was pretending they owned a house and then it transpired they didn’t… weird.

Yeah I had a neighbour who was talking about the fact she wanted to put a new kitchen in her house and other things alluding to the fact she owned it, I didn't care either way but her partner mentioned they didn't own it and I realised she was desperately trying to keep up with her posh friends

She tells everyone they rent because they are waiting for inheritance! 🙄

It doesn’t affect you and it’s not clear how she’s telling everyone she owns and simultaneously telling everyone she rents because they are waiting for an inheritance.

@armadillio I'm not saying it effects me but why lie ..it's daft isn't it . There is no shame in renting but to me renting a expensive house and pretending you own it is weird

She didn't pretend she owns it. She simply thanked you for the compliment. Nobody owns "nice and expensive area" either. Yet you would say thank you if someone complimented on the area you live in.
The fact that you mentioned several times how expensive and nice the house/area was says it all, really.
Apparently, having enough money to rent an expensive house in a nice area is not good enough in your eyes. Tell me how this is not snobbery.

Lots of people don't want to say they rent. Why has your partner assumed you are wrong rather than she misled you?

She thanked me when I said what a gorgeous house she has and that it’s beautiful etc… It makes no odds to me whether someone rents a house or owns it, but I do judge people that are disingenuous.

Passing of an expensive house as your own is the only example of snobbery here.

This example of @1984Winston neighbour is the perfect example of snobbery @Catza

Ime, people usually assume you own a house if it's large/expensive/in a good area.

We live in one of the most expensive, desirable areas in our County in a big, beautiful 4 bed detached house. We rent it.

We moved here nearly 6 years ago from the other side of the City, where we owned our house in a deprived, cheap area. Our mortgaged house was worth about £100k (in todays money), our rented house is about £500k.

We sold up and moved for the area and the schools BUT we cannot afford to buy here, not a house the equivalent of what we can rent. Still, I would rather live here renting than where we did owning even though our rent is 2.5 times what our mortgage was. The difference in surroundings, schools and general quality of life is stark and it's worth it.

People (neighbours, colleagues, school parents etc) always assume we own our house. They ask where we got our windows from, could we recommend somewhere? Or if we'd thought about extending into the attic, they're thinking about it you see. Or they ask how long we've lived here and mention how lucky we are to have missed the manic covid property boom. Just stuff that comes up in random, daily chats when watching the kids play football or whatever. No one thinks you'd be renting a £500k house (a very high price where we live).

I NEVER outright lie but I engage with the chat as far as possible and I don't correct people. Oh I'm not even sure where the windows were from! No, I don't think extending into the attic would be worth it for us, we have enough space as it is. Yes, i'm very glad we weren't part of the 2020 housing madness! And so on.

The fact is that many people look at you differently if they know you rent. I've experienced it, before I stopped being open about our housing status.

Far from shunning you or being rude, they look at you with KINDNESS ime and sympathy. As if you're one step away from the food bank. Boak. No thank you 😂 We have no need of peoples unspoken pity for the life choices we've made which we're perfectly happy with! So I avoid it.

This example is different from yours though. Saying you're going to put a new kitchen in is an outright lie (unless you're mad!) but accepting compliments on your home isn't - whether you own it or not.

@StartingANewNameToday While this is all interesting insight and something worth reflecting on, it does not explain the behaviour of adults signing off, even if orally only, on work being done which would potentially impact properties that don't belong to them. I am guessing you would tell anyone asking you for similar permission to contact the owners of your property?

The OPs case is crazy but the poster where the person renting the property told her she might as well take a chimney down is downright unbelievable.

I was pointing out that that was an example of snobbery, keeping up with the Jones’s.

I agree with you that it’s not the same, as my experience I wasn’t lied outright lied to. To say you’re getting a new kitchen is mental.