To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

It's funny because I used to have the same fear but the opposite, I was very skinny and had multiple people some of which I had literally met for 10 seconds point out how skinny I am. Someone had the audacity to say "disgustingly skinny".
I hope no one comments on your weight, it's awful.

And how many times has a GP misdiagnosed a patient or missed crucial information - maybe because they're so busy looking and forming judgements that they don't listen to the person's account of what they're actually experiencing?

I accept I gave a rather blanket statement and there are some things you can see about a person's health, but that doesn't include their fertility. What I meant was that you can't look at a thin person and conclude they are in perfect health because they look slim. And a lot of women have been told by a doctor to go away and lose weight as a first line when in fact having their health problem treated first would better enable them to actually lose the weight.

The only people I've had comment were teenagers (expected) and a morbidly obese lady on a mobility scooter because I didn't move far enough out of the way and she called me a fat bitch!!!

How would you feel if that person told you that they had underlying health issues or a hidden disability?

I’ve always been under a size 18 and never been lower than the ‘obese’ category.

My peer group are, one the whole, pretty slim.

Everyone talks about the 90's and skinny being fashionable, but I was super-skinny in the 90's, I was 7 1/2 stone and 5' 8", and I used to get loads of shit from other women for it, 'skinny bitch', 'you look like a man', 'no tits'.

Luckily, I like myself so it was water of a duck's back, but, I see women are massively judgemental of other women's bodies.

We do have to think why that happens though.

I smoke which is wildly judged on here.

I've always been an absolute libertarian when it comes to personal choice. It's not my business what you do with your body.

I absolutely hate the idea that we have a responsibility to society when it comes to personal choice. We should be able to live our lives as we see fit. It's not the business of others how we inhabit our skin.

The only responsibility we have is to ourselves really.

As a person who's always struggled with her weight, I would honestly say lose it now. It's so much easier for you to lose before the peri menopause. I've struggled to stay a size 10 for the duration of my 20s and 30s. Now I'm in my 40s, I've piled on 4 stone! I'm doing a combination of fasting/counting calories/going running/hula hooping. I've lost 3 stone and have another to go. I'm relieved to be a size 12, and wear normal looking clothes again. But I still have a stone to go. The pain in my back and knees have gone, my brain fog has lifted. I strongly urge you to implement some changes into your life, like walking 10,000 steps a day and swapping junk food for fruit.

Honestly? I feel a bit sad for them as it’s no fun to be overweight and there is usually an underlying cause. One of my nieces has been very stressed, she has put on about 4 stone. I want her to be thinner as I know that will be a sign she is more in control. I have never mentioned it to her as of course she is more than aware and needs no ad
vice from me.

I'm not sure if I'd notice unless they were morbidly obese. In your mid-20s you are the perfect age to take control and sort it out if you want to.

When I see a child who is very overweight I feel so sorry for them, and sad that their parents have let them down.

Same here with PCOS though thankfully no insulin resistance (yet!).

I walk nearly 20k steps a day and eat perfectly healthily yet losing weight is a real struggle now whereas it wasn't in my 20's and my diet/exercise is probably actually better than it was!

I wonder how many of the women on here casting such nasty judgements would change their tune if they (or their daughters) ended up being diagnosed with similar conditions?

I would think judgemental thought. I would never let the judgemental thoughts show or make the person feel bed though.

Honestly, if they are very fat, I think “What a shame!☹️” - because they are are starting out on the threshold of life with a huge disadvantage. If you are just talking about someone overweight but not obese then I wouldn’t think anything I don’t think.

I’m now in my 50s and the few obese people I know of my age and even younger are all suffering with obesity induced or exacerbated health issues like Type 2 diabetes; ankle and knee problems; sleep apnea, hypertension… Most of them weren’t obese in their early 20s so to be obese so young is a really crap start in life.

I’m overweight now (not obese) and struggle to lose it as I’m a bit lazy and love food. I don’t like it and I now snore every night. It’s crept up in the last decade and I must lose. I’ve a stone at least to lose.

The OP did not say “obsessive” calorie counting. It IS important to understand the calorie content of foods (particularly pre-packaged foods) in order to control portion sizes and understand the impact of eating numerous snacks like biscuits throughout the day. Seeing foods in terms of numbers is a good way to get a handle on this.

I am currently working on losing a couple of stone in order to get from a size 16 to a 12, because I was at risk of tipping over from overweight to obese. I don’t “obsessively” count calories, and agree that would be disordered, but it is really helpful to understand how many I need and how many I need to reduce it by in order to lose weight. It is definitely less food than I thought I needed.

when you said young i thouight you meant child

i guess my thought is too much pizza, unable to cook, too many take aways.
i guess i blame modern life

I'm young in my eyes 🥲🤣

i was always slim but thought i was fat

My mother has been obese (size 24) almost all of my life. (From 34yo) So my instinct when I see young fat people is to worry about your future health. My mother was fit and able to swim and do DIY and play with us as kids. But from 55 her body sort of collapsed, her joints are wrecked, and now in her early 70s she’s largely in bed, in huge pain, despite having had her knees, shoulders and hips replaced. And carrying that weight caused the joints to erode. The lack of fitness because of the pain meant she lost muscle.
she had an abusive husband and was very depressed so comfort ate, and found it hard to loose weight, but I think if she realised just how terrible it would have been that she’d have done everything possible to loose weight, because life if miserable now.

I can’t help but see her experience in young fat people’s future.

I would automatically think, she eats too much junk food and doesn't move around very much. If you were in your 40s,did blame the menopause.

I don’t think anything about an overweight person in their 20s as it’s so commonplace.

I do notice if they are so large they can’t move easily, or they are next to me on a bus or plane seat and are large enough that their body takes up more space than their own seat. I also notice if they are a very young person (child or teenager).

Body positivity in general is a good thing- it’s best for everyone not to hate ourselves or feel ashamed about our bodies, because it’s very difficult to make changes from a place of shame. However, young people celebrating obesity does irk me. I saw a programme a while ago about people who were trying to lose weight and one of the young women was really pushing against it all, saying that she was perfectly healthy as she was, and her body shape was ‘valid’ etc. It is possible to be perfectly healthy as an overweight or obese 25 year-old; because youth is a massive advantage. If that person is the same size (or bigger) at 30…40…50 and beyond, the odds are that health will begin to deteriorate. In the same way that young people can often ‘get away with’ smoking and drinking heavily. At older ages, the risks are huge.

Yeah, this. I wouldn't think anything really about an adult being overweight. I do feel a general concern about the levels of obesity in society but not towards a specific individual.

If it's an obese child or young teen I might feel a bit judgy towards their parents as at that age they would have some level of control over what their kid eats. However even then it's often more about society - I often see groups of obese 14/15/16 year olds heading into McDonalds etc together in town and there's not much parents can do about that. An actual kid (say preteen) I would judge, yes.

Well, if nothing else, at least this thread is a good way of filtering out the kind, empathetic posters from the judgemental and unpleasant ones!

1. I don’t think people who judge are being unpleasant
2. I doubt that the majority of obese people have an underlying health issue that makes them fat. So judging may occasionally be mistaken because the person has a health issue. But it will more often be right.
3. If you are an overweight person who is overweight due to a medical condition, you would also be entitled to judge those who are obese by reason only of their lifestyle choices. Why don’t you?

If I’m honest I think “they must eat a lot”. I work hard to stay at my ideal weight and have accepted that means not eating a lot. This is especially true when you get older. I tend to think that the person has a food addiction and hasn’t come to terms with the fact that humans can’t overeat.

I live in a very poor part of the West Midlands and most women here are overweight. It’s sad and must really affect their quality of life. I often think they must have sore backs and bad joints as a result.

If I see overweight children it makes me really sad. Those children will probably be stuck with that food addiction for the rest of their lives.