To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

Honestly, as an old fat person I pity you and really really wish you would do something about it - purely for health reasons.
I am in my early 50's and in pain every day, even if I lost weight now the damage to my joints would be done, I know it would improve things a bit but I can't reverse it completely

Lots of people don't have such a satisfactory experience with their doctor, aren't listened to and don't get those much needed referrals - but that's going on a bit of a tangent.

When I said 'you can't tell anything about a person's health from looking at them' I was responding to a poster who is not a trained doctor (as far as I know) who looks at fat women in the street and thinks they're probably infertile, ill and about to die. What I meant was that a layperson can't form an accurate judgement of a person's health from seeing them in the street. Some of the thin people you walk past will be struggling with fertility, or have an illness or be facing an untimely death and some of the fat people won't be.

The doctor's initial observation should be followed by proper investigation to see if their judgements have a basis.

It's very different to walking past someone in the street and thinking 'that lazy bitch only has a few years left, good job she probably doesn't have kids or a partner to mourn her since she's too fat to have any worth in society anyway'.

But fine, a doctor can suspect some things about your health from looking at you and maybe those things will turn out to be true. It has nothing to do with the point I was making but sure, you're right.

As I said in my OP I am actively losing weight

I don’t think about people’s weight unless (1) they are actual children where it’s quite shocking to see them having got so large so fast (2) I have to sit next to them on a plane or similar and I’m losing space or (3) they are so big I wonder how they can get around. Just overweight and going about their business I wouldn’t notice I don’t think and I don’t think I think differently about someone who is 25 and huge or 50 and huge.

People can love their bodies and be fat

@Seiling I'm going to disagree with that, I was not loving my body when I was filling it with junk food and not exercising.

Do you judge and think this when you see a visibly underweight person too? Or do you usually think they are probably struggling with an eating disorder or physical health issue and feel sorry for them? If so, why would you not assume the same for an overweight person? There are so many reasons people may be overweight and it's not always as simple as they're lazy or greedy. Very few people choose to live their life fat.

I think that there are so many over weight people around now that I would most likely spot the clothes you're wearing and think oo that's nice. What I do notice though is if someone is having physical difficulties that look like they could be weight related eg puffing and panting and moving slowly or uncomfortably. When it's children though I very much notice and feel sad that they could be unable to take part in sports and will possibly be limited in what they can do. That makes me sad and if I'm being honest, angry with their parents. The impact on internal organs by excess visceral fat is not good and they will probably have a very unhealthy life 😞

I only feel sorry for fat kids because they have no real choice and have clearly been fed junk and not encouraged to exercise. By fat I mean very overweight, not just a bit chubby. They almost always have very fat parents too so it’s sad they’re clearly all stuck in a rut and I feel bad for them.

I feel pity if it's a child.
I once met a very obese woman and judged her harshly in my mind. It turned out she used to be a professional athlete but had had a terrible injury which left her bedbound for a long time and that's when she put on weight. I felt very bad for judging and try not to now.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Fat people are not an unusual sight these days, especially fat women.

I’m going to be very honest, when I see a fat person, I see a fat person first. I honestly don’t see your nice hair/colourful scarf/wonder where you got your nice handbag at first glance. I hope you achieve your weight loss goal!

If someone was so large that they were actually struggling to move around unaided, I might think ‘Blimey, that must make life very hard for them’. But other than that I don’t really think anything to be honest. People come in all shapes and sizes and I don’t notice the fat ones any more than the tall ones or the thin ones or the short ones or whatever. It’s just a neutral response for me really.

If I see someone who is very very overweight I do think "my word she / he's a big lass / lad". But then I move on, same as if I saw someone who was extremely tall for example. I don't fret about their health or their diet.

I'm older so remember a time when there were far fewer overweight people. So, if I'm honest occasionally I find myself 'surprised' by how much bigger young people tend to be these days. But that's very much on a collective not individual basis. If I saw you as an OW 20 something I'd not think anything specific about you because you're just part if the new normal iyswim. I like to see young women who are confident and wearing what they please at a larger size and sometimes I feel a bit jealous that I was young in a time when size very much impacted body confidence, and a was on a permanent diet to lose a tiny stomach despite being under 9 stone. I do obviously think theres a health issue, but again collectively, but not solely to do with size, its diet for people of all sizes, so much meat, fat and sugar, plus alcohol consumption and sedentary lifestyle of a lot of young people of all sizes that is more likely to make me worry about future health.

Name changed as I know I'll be vilified.
I think either nothing. If I do think anything, it's never positive about them, positive in the way I would feel if I saw a slim, fit person out exercising or just out. If I see a very fat person in a mobility scooter, I usually assume they are in there, incapacitated, because of their weight that may have also led to other health conditions.

If I see a very fat person waiting at the gate for the same plane I'm on, I really pray they are not next to me. I've spend flights squeezed up against an overweight person before, and it's horrible. They put the arm rest between us up to give them more room (in fairness to them it must have been extremely painful when it was down). Anyway, this pushed me towards the other side of my seat and I spent the whole flight squeezed against them. I should have asked to move but was too embarrassed.

This , I think the same.

overweight child? i feel anger towards the parents

overweight adult? poor sod. sort out your diet and exercise

does this happen very regularly?

or just in last fortnight?

Oh I know, I am a size 16 and my BMI was 30 until a couple of months ago, which is obese. I wasn’t saying that you had to be size 22 to be obese, I was saying that obese people who are so large they can’t buy clothes in most shops are the ones I particularly notice. Not that those obese people are the only obese people. Perhaps I should have said “morbidly obese” but I am not sure if that has a technical definition.

low income absolutely does NOT inevitably feeding your children shite

@jetbot it was a very complex situation and I don't particularly think it's relevant but I don't fault my parents for doing their best when we were young

how overweight are you?

If I see a child who is fat I feel very sorry for them. But an adult, like yourself, I don't take that much notice.

I think most of us are too worried about what WE look like to give a shit what anyone else looks like, unless they're attention seeking in some way (e.g. performative hair colouring/piercings/tatts etc). I'm so unobservant I'd be an absolutely useless witness at a crime scene.