To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

Depends how fat we're talking. I don't think it'd come to my attention someone's size unless they were morbidly obese.

If I see someone big enough that I do notice them then I'm going to be completely honest, I wonder how they afford to each that much to not only get to that size but to maintain it. This is probably because I don't go out much and when I do it's usually to the supermarket so that's where I'm most likely to see them. I'll usually have the cost of food in my head when I see them and be cursing at how prices have shot up so much in recent years. I genuinely don't think I could afford to be morbidly obese so I wonder how others afford it 🙈

I wouldn't care it judge, everyone's shape is different.

I would think it is nothing to do with me, like I wouldn't think a very thin stranger is my concern. I knew a Mum school gate friend and she was obsessed with other people's children's weight, it was weird and ultimately mean. He own child is very skinny but that's because she would take to them about not being greedy.

I think 0 or ‘she looks good’.

A lot of people genuinely think being thin
means healthy, even immortal.

The press fosters this illusion daily, hysterically.

Weight doesn’t make that much difference long term unless you’re too thin/mentally ill or need a fire truck to leave the house via window. Exercise, however…

As a skinny person I can tell you that you are wrong.
People think it’s absolutely fine to say things directly to slim people insulting us about our weight.
I’m size 8. They usually imply I have an eating disorder. If I say no to food I’ve been told I need it and should have 2, and if I eat a lot I’ve actually been asked if I’m bulimic. People can be extremely rude to slim people.

Same. I don’t generally register other (unknown) adults much except to notice, for instance, that I like their outfit / shoes / hair etc, but I do notice when children are so fat it stops them playing or running. That makes me feel really sad, as their body has become a prison. I try not to judge the parents in such cases, but on those occasions when I see the children being handed crap to eat, I do judge. I shouldn’t, it could be the child’s birthday and a special treat, or they could have a health issue causing the weight gain, but in my head I’m thinking that the poor child needs help.

I feel a bit sad for them. My husband has always been fat and it’s caused him all manner of health problems over the years.

You’re so right - very rude.

I loathe fat shamers and weight obsessives. Stupid and nasty, combo of doom.

Honestly, the only time I really notice any young person especially large, is if they are noticeably unwell- weezing, using mobility scooter, significant mobility issue when walking. I have seen this more often than I'd like. Because, all I think is how sad it must be for that young person to be so unwell with their weight issue - I am talking about under 16s here- it breaks my heart.

Younger adults? Tbf, I'm not really paying attention unless you are noticeably enormous- size 30 plus? I will just wonder about why you got that big. That's it really.

I only register if said person dresses like they are size 10 ie low slung pants and crop top. I don’t think there goes confidence I just think sad. And I say this as a person who has been carrying at least 15kg extra than I should for years.

Most of the time I think absolutely nothing. If someone is morbidly obese, struggling to walk / breath I do think about their health and hope to myself they are getting support to improve their health.

I know someone who is morbidly obese in their 20s and struggles to get upstairs. I don't think negative of them for being over weight I just really worry about their heart and lungs and worry that it will only get worse as they age. I know someone is encouraging walks and healthier eating and I'm cheering them on inside to improve their health. It's none of my business really but it's hard watching someone so lovely suffer.

If you active, not struggling and generally happy in life I'm happy for you

Well that's surprising as a size 8 is not tiny by any means, where do you live that this is commented on all the time? I think the people I have heard comment on being skinny the most are skinny people, personally they all have issues around food. I can spot it a mile off as I was one of those people on my early twenties.

I don't think about it unless my own weight is on my mind (which it is a bit recently tbh as I am battling perimenopausal weight gain). For example, I was in southern Europe recently and it was 40 degrees and if I wore a dress, my inner thighs chafed, which has never happened to me before. I did think then, this must be what it's like being fat. Followed by: oh my god am I fat now?

I think it's perfectly possible to be fat and look good. I have friends who successfully achieve this! I don't think we should waste our lives worrying about our weight (even though I am a hypocrite as I do worry about it) but that said, it's going too far when things get into the 'morbidly obese' category.

I generally don't think anything of it.

I did see a family yesterday with two obese parents and three very overweight children. I felt quite sad as the parents were clearly failing with their diet and lifestyle, and creating issues for their children. One overweight person I don't usually notice, I'm a size 16, but five including a primary aged child I notice. I felt they needed to make some changes, perhaps they are in denial, or consider it acceptable for all five to be overweight.

Given the size increase in the general population, I think you'd need to be shockingly large, or very large and terribly dressed, or beautifully dressed (which is also often the case) to really draw my eye in anything other than seeing right through you as I go about my business.

Although I don't think anything in general I'm over weight myself and around 15 years ago I lost nearly 5 stone taking my weight to one where I felt good in myself and could walk into any clothes outlet, be it high street store or supermarket, and buy clothes off the peg, it was wonderful to be able to do that rather than only go to selected stores.

Now the weight is back on, I'm obviously older and I'm finding it hard to lose and back to having to travel a distance to find nice clothes that fit and look half decent.

I'd give my hind teeth to feel as good as I did back then but to be honest the struggle to lose the weight does drag me down but I've made a good start at giving things another go.

You say you're actively losing weight, well done, experience has taught me to chip away, not rush things, it's a mindset change that's needed, and in my case to know that although a chocolate bar is quicker to open than it is to make a piece of fruit look more appealing the fruit will be the better choice in the long run.

Good luck on your weight loss journey.

Completely agree! I have had so many unnecessary comments about how "You need to eat some donuts", or "your skin and bone" or being accused of being bulimic. I'm size 8 and just over 5ft. I don't look unhealthy or unwell. I have put on some weight recently and people seem to be now passing comment on that too! You cannot win no matter what size you are

It doesn’t really register to be honest unless someone is really obese which I think is so sad as it must be really hard to get around and very uncomfortable.

However, if I see someone who is overweight going for a run, I really do think that is brilliant and demands a lot of respect. I know how hard it is to start from a low base level of fitness and how self conscious I feel all red and puffed out.

@YourMommaWasASnowblower I'm not doubting you, but nobody says "I hope a skinny person doesn't sit next to me" or "I assume skinny people aren't very intelligent" - which are just two of the comments/judgements that have come up on this thread.

I have had the same at just over 5ft and size 8. People just comment because they can

Just over 5ft and size 8 wouldn't be exceptionally slim unless you live in a region of the country (if in UK?) that has a high proportion of overweight people.

I think of Wall-e

I find that people are rude behind fat peoples backs and rude to skinny people's faces. Neither is acceptable.

This. I have always been slim, and that apparently means that it is okay for some people to pass comments on that. I have had hurtful things said to me regarding my weight, by people who should really know better. I would never comment negatively on someones weight if they are overweight. They are completely aware of that themselves. I make my food choices that please me, and believe in nourishing my body, apparently that means I have a disorder of some sort.

I walk up to them and ask them where the best take away is and what they recommend.

No, I’m kidding. I don’t really give it much thought unless them being fat is actually impacting me (like if I was sat next to someone fat on a 10 hour flight I might be a bit miffed but I wouldn’t say anything) I know my mum (who is in her 60s) is very judgemental and says stuff like “no one was that fat when I was young” and talks about how easy it is to lose weight when you’re young and all that. I used to be fat when I was a teen so I know it can be hard to lose weight even at that age, my mum has never been fat. People I know who haven’t been fat are always more judgemental in my experience.