To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

I do not care about the how they look the aspect, if people look great or like shit it is no concern of mine be it weight or clothes, I do care about their health.

They may be shortening what they can do and the cost to the NHS, 10% of the entire budget goes to type 2 diabetes. Now there can be a genetic element, there is in my family. My Mother avoided it be being careful, my brother did not and killed himself basically. He made no attempt with his food intake and ended up on dialysis and shortened his life considerably. His demise was avoidable. I’m still staving it off by being very careful with food. My sister was pre diabetic, she lost 5 stone, she was scared when he died. The main outcome apart from not dying prematurely like our brother was her aches and pains diminished considerably.

DH had only ever known her as fat as she was about 43 when we met, I’m 14 years younger than her. He was gobsmacked and said she looked like a totally different person and she did and still does.

You risk dying under general anaesthetic more, when pregnant it has higher risks and some cancers are directly linked to obesity. I have a congenital issue with my spine, if I was obese it would severely affect my mobility.

So it’s all about health for me.

I do notice extremes- the extra~ large and desperately thin- There used to be a young woman where we lived who was terribly anorexic who used to 'run' with a rucksack loaded with stuff

Terribly anorexic? Was she actually suffering from anorexia, or just very thin?

If I see a really overweight person, I might think "I really don't need that chocolate bar I was going to buy" or "better hit the gym today", but only because it reminds me of when I was really overweight .

I don't judge them for it or speculate on what might have led them to be like that - they obviously have their reasons and it's their body and nowt to do with me.

Honestly I'm intrigued to know how they got fat....
I am a slim person and I don't deprive myself of anything so I'm always interested to know just how much food the fat person thinks is 'normal'.

When I see fat children, I feel sorry for them.

I probabaly wouldn't even notice you, or anyone, unless I saw they had something fab in the clothing or shoe line and then it would be ooo I wonder where they got that. Sometimes I even ask!

I feel sorry for over weight kids. And quite judgy towards their parents. A fat young adul? Not sure I really have an opinion.

Obesity is easy to judge because it's visible, that's all.

Nobody judges a skinny person in the pub drinking wine on a Friday night even though they could quite easily be an alcoholic. Nobody judges a skinny person for eating cake even though they could have badly controlled diabetes or dangerously high cholesterol 🤷‍♀️

But apparently it's okay that everyone judges someone who is overweight, even though they could may never touch a drop of alcohol and could be perfectly healthy in terms of their diet and exercise routine.

If they are children, I feel very angry at their parents.

If they are adults, I wonder what they eat to get to and maintain that size (I'm talking about obese people here, not just overweight).

I'm a GP.

When I see a very fat young woman (and where I live, I see a lot them) I am concerned about her health. Being very fat is a health condition. It increases the risks of multiple problems, including pregnancy complications and lots of cancers. During the pandemic, I remember often reading stories in the press about 'healthy' young people dying - but they weren't usually healthy, they were obese. The only people I knew personally or professionally who died were obese.

And I certainly don't feel that her obesity is because of some failing on her part. I am angry on her behalf that there is something about our society and the way we eat that is damaging so many people's health. I am quite old, and grew up and spent my young adulthood in a fairly deprived area. It was extremely rare for anyone to be obese. Something has changed in our environment over the last forty years, and it is very likely to be the normalisation of a diet largely made up of highly processed foods.

Edited to make it clear I am talking about people who are obese. Being slightly overweight (BMI under 28) may mean you don't look as good you'd like, but it has much less impact on your health.

When I see morbidly overweight people I have sympathy for them. Particularly young people as i wonder what got them to that place. I feel sad for children as life isnt easy being the overweight child in a class.
Life cant be easy being extremely overweight from many aspects, it affects health, travel, comfort, self esteem and dare I say it employment opportunities - though it shouldn't .
Society I do feel judges on looks and appearance.
I don't think I really notice other overweight people , apart from.extreme overweight which can stand out.
I'm carrying extra weight myself and feel very self conscious though if I see overweight people at the gym or on holiday in swimsuits bikinis etc I think good on you for going the gym and trying and also for having body confidence.

You will find people treat you differently OP, I think a lot of people whether they admit it or not equate fat=lazy and judge the person solely based on that, not many people will admit to that though. If I see an overweight person I don't really think that, but if I see I morbidly obese person I do, a lot depends on how you carry yourself.

I was a skinny child, overweight adult, then lost 8 stone.. the attitude of people was quite eye opening, the worse thing was when people would comment things like 'oh you look so much better, how do you feel?' .. and I'd normally go along with it, but if it was someone I knew well I'd tell them the truth, in that I felt the same, because I AM exactly the same person.. I didn't have a personality or brain transplant, I just look different, so why would I 'feel' different?

I put on about 3 stone back on over time and am losing it again now, but the best thing to do is not care what people think, just be honest with yourself, don't kid yourself that you are happy with your size if your aren't, being a size 10 isn't the be all and end all, being healthy, happy and content is far more important.

I don’t see many extremely thin people.
It is actually normal or should be, for people to be what most would consider slim.
There are so many overweight people now that what is average wound have been considered fat when I was a child.
I was never skinny, I don’t have that body type. Yet as a child I didn’t carry any excess body fat. I was tall and went through puberty early so I was very conscious of not being fat. It is hard when your friends have the slimmer body type and have he advantage of pre puberty.
That is life though. Some people have to work much harder than others.

You'd have to be hugely overweight for me to notice tbh. And I MIGHT judge then I guess (sorry). But if we're talking BMI of say 31 (so obese but only just) it probably wouldn't even register it my brain.

I don't think anything specific about them because of their weight.

I especially don't offer fake health concern, because I don't know anything. about their health.

My own experience is that (as a woman especially) the weight gain only continues through life so the younger someone is who i observe to be significantly overweight, the more i worry for them. If you are a slim teen even when you inevitably gain weight through the 20's, 30's and 40's you started at a lower baseline so its a while before the worst impacts kick in. If you are 17 and already significantly overweight, the following decades are likely to be a battle.

When i see primary aged kids who are considerably overweight (im not talking about a layer of puppy fat here, bones covered - im talking about rolls of fat) i feel so sad as that is absolutely the fault of their parents. Children can't magic up unhealthy food/portions too large for them, they are given to them by their parents, or given money and allowed to buy sweets/chocolate amd unhealthy snacks.
I often wonder if they look back later in life and wish their parents had tried harder to stop them.

There is a young woman in her 20s in my close circle who is quite overweight. I worry about her and for her future health .

I think, thank god I'm not that far anymore and I hope I never get that fat again. But then, I've lost 15 kg in the last 2 years.

Being a similar age, I personally wouldn’t notice it unless I was trying to date them! I actually think being overweight is somewhat normalised/seen as the default and being slim is seen as unattainable. It’s much more noticeable if someone has a desirable figure as opposed to anything else. It’s not necessarily rare to come across someone who is young and overweight

If it was on a bus I would be hoping they didn't sit next to me.

Something has changed in our environment over the last forty years, and it is very likely to be the normalisation of a diet largely made up of highly processed foods.

Do you think it also has something to do with other popular vices like cigarettes, drugs and alcohol now being made illegal (or at least extremely expensive) whereas food is, obviously, available to everyone no matter what?

I'm mostly musing, but in the past - how many mothers chain smoked, or got through the day on drugs or by drinking gin? All equally as bad for you, but not as visible.

I feel sorry for them tbh as being fat in later life is no joke. Your body kind of gives up.

I rarely notice what the people around me look like honestly, I definitely don’t judge someone for being overweight. My BMI is 22 and look healthy and fit to the world, but I have other really unhealthy habits that I use to cope with my life and emotions, it’s just you won’t see them. I totally understand how people use food as comfort and how binge eating happens.

If I’m running in the park and I see overweight people running/speed walking I want to give them a high five or encouraging smile (I don’t obviously) because they’re trying to fight their demons and that takes a lot of strength.

I tend to think

"I wonder if they wish they were slimmer or don't care"

As I spend most my days wishing I was slimmer

You've asked for honest opinions and that's to be applauded 👏

If it is someone that's a few sizes above average it doesn't cross my mind and if it's a female & they are lovely looking I might say to myself she's very pretty. If the person is obviously obese my only thought is omg that looks awful & really uncomfortable.This is regardless of whether they appear happy or say people are fat phobic if they question obesity. My intentions here are not to offend anyone but OP asked for honest opinions. If someone is obviously anorexic I think that looks awful, what a shame, she needs help. I know I shouldn't judge other peoples appearance but again if we are honest the majority do.

If you dress nicely I'm more likely to be looking at your outfit than your body. I am usually trying to soak up style tips as I'm useless and not very confident. Seeing people (especially larger people) rocking outfits with confidence really boosts mine by proxy!