To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

TBH I don’t think anything - unless they’re really extremely fat and wearing thin, skin tight leggings with a very short top. Then I have to admit that I wonder why they don’t feel like covering up that enormous wobbly bottom. Maybe they’re ’making a statement’ that they don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.
Fine, if so, but to me it is not a pretty sight.

I don't really think anything about fat adults – their bodies, their choices.

I absolutely do judge the parents of fat children, though.

I used to be morbidly obese, and was a fat child. I know how difficult it made my life, right through from early childhood up until the point where I forced myself to take control of the situation. Even now, I am still overweight and have a heavily restricted diet in order to avoid going back to obesity. It is significantly easier to maintain a healthy weight if you've never been fat before, and if you're allowed to get fat as a child, you are much more likely to struggle with your weight throughout your life.

I strongly believe that it's neglectful to allow your child to get fat (barring medical conditions, of course).

I've recently lost a lot of weight on mounjaro and I'm no longer in the obese category.
It's the only thing that's ever worked for me and I feel so much healthier.

Despite my own struggle and knowing that being fat is often down to far more than gluttony and laziness, my gut reaction when seeing someone significantly overweight is to pass judgment (and yes, I know this makes me a massive hypocrite!)

Whenever I see the before/after weight loss pictures, I perceive the slimmer version of that person to have a higher intelligence. I don't know whether it's solely me who does this, but I can't help myself.

I dont judge without being rude lots of the nation are overweight. As a parent, I wouldn't be overly happy, if it was my child as I worry for there health (not just for the future) but if they are emotionally eating but I don't go round looking at obese people and thinking negative thoughts.

I feel sad for the person, because I know losing weight gets harder once you are old and have kids. The easiest time of your life to maintain a healthy weight is when you are young. Once you have kids, mortgages, stretch marks and the menopause it’s so hard to keep a decent weight and diet going.

It depends how fat really. If just overweight, nothing at all. If extremely morbidly obese pity may cross my mind, and a flash of how does someone get that big, before I give my head a wobble and think I don't know what that poor person has been through in order for things to get that out of control.
And if I see large people in the gym I have nothing but admiration.

I remember watching ‘Trisha’ a daytime chat show type thing, they were talking about obesity, a very obese woman was taking part and talking about her weight. She came on stage, walking with two sticks, Trisha said ‘I didn’t notice your weight, my first thought was you have beautiful eyes!’ Absolute nonsense, so disingenuous to say something like that! It is simply not true to say you don’t notice obesity.

So much this. I am so burnt out on getting my own young DC through a pandemic and then a recession that I have absolutely zero interest in other young people, unless I know them very well.
IRL most people don't care that much about other people.

I'm judging, I'm sorry.

Menopause and extended steroid use caused me to put on a lot of weight in my 40s which has left me with ongoing health problems. Even though I have since lost a lot of the weight, I am stuck with the health problems including type 2 diabetes and the complications which come with that. My adult DS, who is your age has put on a lot of weight in the last 2 years (he had previously always been slim) and was recently diagnosed with heart problems. His Drs have told him that his weight (and his smoking) are the likely cause.

When I was young, in my teens and twenties, very few of us were obese. My one very overweight friend from school suffered a devastating stroke in her early 40s which left her in need of full-time nursing care. Another stroke less than 10 years later killed her. I now see many teenagers and children who are worryingly overweight. We live in an area where there are lots of students and lots of them are overweight, and I judge because if they are already obese aged 18-20, they are likely to be even more overweight as they get older, and they are going to find themselves facing a lot of health problems.

Lose weight while you're young if you can - for your health if nothing else. It only gets harder as you get older.

I generally wouldn’t think much of it - being overweight, even hugely so, isn’t a sufficiently unusual feature to merit attention.

I do notice when people are overweight or unfit in a way that negatively impacts their every day physical movement. If a friend gets really out of breath climbing stairs or walking to coffee then I do think ‘god life would be so much harder’ like that. And I guess I get a bit more frustrated than I would do with someone who was slow because they had a hip issue or crutches which I need to reflect on… But ultimately if it’s not my body or my children’s body then I’m not responsible for it.

I think the narrative around very overweight bodies has changed significantly recently - I’m more aware than ever that my genes and family habits growing up are two of the most significant factors in me staying relatively slim / athletic. it’s a lot harder for some people.

I think more people silently judge people for all sorts of things, more than anyone would ever admit.
Would I ever say anything to them, be rude or unkind to their face? Absolutely not. Would I help them if they needed help? 100%.
But I can’t deny that I inwardly do have judgemental feelings over things. If I see someone smoking, I inwardly feel quite disgusted that someone would do that to their body. If I see someone drop litter, I inwardly dislike that person.

I’m not a saint, but I am just being honest.

Honestly I hate to see a obese child , just feel really sad for them but I don't even register adults bodies one way or the other. I do notice nice clothes though and often ask someone where an item of clothing is from!

I do think how much society has changed in 40 yrs or so. Definitely don't think the health of the nation is great on the whole but totally get that it must be extremely hard to fight against all the fattening food that now exists and the easy access of cars and massively improved ease of using washing machines etc. Apparently that's one of the main reasons for weight increase, the comparative ease of housework but who the hell wants to go back to the twin tub or whatever evils existed to tie women to the house? It's very complex.

If they're massively overweight, I feel sorry for them. i presume life has been hard for them to be that way. Similarly, id someone is incredibly underweight. If it's children that are massively overweight, I must say I judge the parents. But generally I believe that we are all different shapes and sizes and unless someone is visibly excessively so, I don't really notice.

If they're massively overweight, I feel sorry for them. i presume life has been hard for them to be that way. Similarly, if someone is incredibly underweight. If it's children that are massively overweight, I must say I judge the parents. But generally I believe that we are all different shapes and sizes and unless someone is visibly excessively so, I don't really notice.

It varies. I have an overweight friend who always looks gorgeous and has the most beautiful face and hair and I always think “how can you look so perfect whilst I’m such a hot mess” (I am also overweight, albeit nearly 50).

With younger people if I see them exercising I think, perhaps patronisingly “good for you”. And then I start thinking about how cross I am that our industrial modern world pushes such poor food choices at us. I have sympathy for people who can’t seem to control what they eat.

Lastly I sometimes think of my mum who would always stage whisper in John Lewis cafe “if I were that size, I certainly don’t think I’d have chose that piece of chocolate cake.” Mortifying. I would hiss at her to shut up as there’s clearly no correlation between deafness and weight.

There are some people for whom weight gain is an effect of a medical condition.

More people are overweight because they eat too much. Perhaps they equate food with love and care. I know of a family where three generations are overweight, some of them very overweight. The mother regularly posts photos of meals, which look large to me. If you have a meal, I don’t think the majority include a portion of rice, a portion of pasta and potatoes in it.

It has caused significant mental health problems for one grandchild. It has caused physical health problems for others, including high blood pressure, aching joints, heart problems. Some of these, at least, would be alleviated by losing weight. Presumably, the longer it continues, the more used you become to eating a large amount.

Nothing because there are lots of young fat people! We are all responsible for our own bodies and we are all capable of gaining/losing weight assuming no medical issues! It's none of my business what other people look like and I am FAR from perfect myself....

I saw a woman recently in the supermarket, she was young maybe only twenty, very pretty with her hair done nicely and tasteful make up, well dressed. She was also very very overweight, what caught my attention was her ankles. She was wearing flat pump type shoes and a skirt. And her legs had marks on and her feet must have been in a bad way as well. I assume diabetes. I felt so much pity for her, this young bright woman killing herself, literally parts of her body scarred and potholed and rotting. I just felt terribly sad for her.

Do you think being fat inhibits most? When I'm walking down the High Street I see loads and loads of fat people going about their business, to the supermarket, to pick up a prescription from the chemist. when I go to my Work Christmas do there's loads of people of varying degrees of slim to fat to really big. People that I meet on interviews and teams from the bank or an accountant, are slim, loads are fat. So?

the majority of the UK is fat.
Most people just go about their daily business. What has fat got to do with anything? Think it stops people doing stuff?

Yes of course there are some people who their mental health, their weight inhibits them. Mentally, or physically. They may not want to go out anywhere eg. but actually that's a mental health issue.

Most people who are overweight, 3/4 of the population is overweight in the UK, it's not stopping most of these people going to work and going out and about and doing their daily business.

if you really obese, clinically obese it may inhibit you a lot, eg getting around.

but most people who are overweight are just getting on and doing their stuff that everybody has to do surely?

The only time I inwardly judge is if that person is wearing leggings that are so tight you can see everything, and their top stops at their waist, it’s when you can see the cellulite and lumps and bumps.
I also inwardly judge larger people if they are sat eating massive meals in restaurants.

The rest of the time I don’t notice peoples weight, it’s not something I’m concerned about myself, so it’s not something that crosses my mind.

My son-in-law is 28 and has just managed to lose 20kg.

He was unhappy with his working life for many years and did a lot of comfort eating but he has changed that - he is now happy & motivated in his career so feels able to tackle his poor eating habits.

He still has more to lose but I really admire him and I'm so glad he has begun to make these changes because as others have pointed out, it will only become more difficult as he gets older

If I see a fat person exercising I think they are good role models embarking on a positive journey

I too have definitely noticed the absolutely skin tight leggings and zero underwear that shows every dimple &c.

Maybe it is body positivity.

People like Yoga and Pilates teachers who are toned and honed also wear leggings, but usually with a short skirt.

I do notice extremes- the extra~ large and desperately thin- There used to be a young woman where we lived who was terribly anorexic who used to 'run' with a rucksack loaded with stuff.

I do still think of her years later and hope that she is still alive.

Fat adult, that’s their choice and I would not even register it. Fat child I do feel sorry for