To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

I don’t think people who judge are being unpleasant

lol, they absolutely are.

I doubt that the majority of obese people have an underlying health issue that makes them fat. So judging may occasionally be mistaken because the person has a health issue. But it will more often be right.

Oh, so if you're wrong occasionally it's fine then? Judge away?

If you are an overweight person who is overweight due to a medical condition, you would also be entitled to judge those who are obese by reason only of their lifestyle choices. Why don’t you?

Because I'm not a dick?

Lots of factors can impact fertility. My periods stopped when I starved myself, for example. From this thread, I can see that fat people are blamed if they have fertility problems - it's their own fault for being fat, people say. But there will be obese infertile people whose weight is not actually the reason, and they might be denied treatment due to their weight even if that isn't the problem. But there are also loads of comments here about fat mothers, judging them for having fat children (my children are not fat by the way, not that I should have to say it). What I see is fat people being blamed for contradictory reasons, and a host of critical and often cruel assumptions being made about them. It's dehumanising and it's awful. And when it comes to fertility, it is affected by so many things and often is inexplicable and insufficiently researched and understood.

@Jifmicroliquid then it's a shame that you don't realise that quite a few overweight people do exactly the same as you and still can't lose weight 🤷‍♀️

you started a thread about your weight

you mentioned your friends views on weight

so if you dont want follow up questions

don’t mention 🤷

If I clock it, I worry about their future health, and current diet.

I particularly worry about obese children.

Joint issues and Type 2 diabetes are no joke.

Saying this as someone who currently has some weight to lose...

Honestly? I think about the impact on their health as a result of being very overweight.

I only take notice of young overweight people if they are wearing inappropriate clothing. Ie very short shorts, a cropped tight top. And I wonder if they are amazingly confident in themselves or have they just not looked in a mirror.

I tend to look at older women (my age) who are overweight and think, jeez, I really need to be careful. And it’s possible people look at me and think that too as I’m getting a tad to big, it’s recoverable without too much effort at the moment but I am very conscious of my size.

if your well presented I do think the majority of people wouldn’t notice tbh.

good on you for making the effort because if nothing else it will make a difference to your health and that helps tremendously (as I well know from having done it before, and slipped back).

whatever you do, do it for you 💐

@LadyKenya
I'm not talking about people being happy or unhappy as their base emotion, or how they feel each day. So that has no relation to whether someone is unhappy about your weight, and buying mounjaro.

I was referring to why people eat. I don't think I eat because I'm unhappy. Eg @Lifestooshort71 said : "they lack self respect and there's something unhappy going on in their life because getting overweight doesn't happen suddenly."

I'm quite like this. I feel sorry for them. They obviously have an eating disorder to be overweight at a young age. I wonder what they've been through.
I don't judge their body size per se. I'm a therapist and this means I instantly wnat to help, but I'd not give unsolicited advice. I'm also quite experienced professionally and personally with these issues so my mind tends to automatically jump to 'I could help' but as for thinking about their actual body, no.

I wouldn't think anything.

I do feel sorry for children who are very overweight though.

Two of my DDs (28 and 33) are overweight. One has severe anxiety and the other has multiple auto-immune diseases. Both piled on weight when the problems took hold.

So when I see a younger person who is fat I think that they are ill or unhappy or both, or post-partum.

If I see a fat younger person stuffing their faces with junk food in the street however I feel contempt - but then I feel the same whatever their age or dimensions!

Well done for getting a grip of it now OP, and I for one think you are a young person 😂

I think wow, how can they be like this at such
a young age?
I have lots of minor health problems as other human beings do, but weight has never been one.

Overweight people aren't unusual, more than half of the population are overweight. It's not noticeable. If everyone paid attention to every overweight person they saw when they were out they'd have to literally be thinking about nothing else

It sounds lovely - especially as people are quicker to be negative.

It may also be as you're feeling happier it's coming across to other people. Positivity grows exponentially.

However, it all sounds good and it's nice to have a good news story on a Monday 🙂

I think if they are young then they have time and energy to go to the gym or do some excercise.

I’m sure there are people like that, but we have a national obesity crisis in this country and it’s not ALL down to medical conditions. People eat too much of the wrong foods and don’t exercise properly.
I’m not sure why people are denying that. The rise of Just Eat and the like make it so easy for people to make the wrong choices. There was never this level obesity years ago, you’re not telling me that nobody had health conditions then, surely? They did. People in the 40s and 50s had health conditions, but there sure as hell weren’t many obese people around in those days.

People need to open their eyes. We live in a society of junk food, fast food, processed food, sedentary lifestyles with hundreds of channels, box sets, games consoles… that’s your problem.

If it's a young person then i always hope they'll lose the weight whilst they still have good muscle tone and collagen if they are dieting.
Otherwise I don't think much.
I'm 60's now and v. thin due to illness and my arms and legs look horribly wrinkly due to lack of muscles. 3 years ago I had a lovely pert bum and good thighs.

You asked for honesty, and I'm not sure that all the people saying they don't notice, or that they notice a nice scarf are being entirely honest.

Honestly, I think : that person eats too much.

I'm sure there are people like that, but we have a national obesity crisis in this country and it’s not ALL down to medical conditions. People eat too much of the wrong foods and don’t exercise properly. I’m not sure why people are denying that.

I'm not sure anyone is denying that

They're just saying that judging someone for being overweight is unpleasant and unnecessary - and given you generally have no idea of the reasons behind it - it's just unpleasant behaviour that doesn't actually serve a purpose.

It depends how 'fat' they are. Just a couple of stone overweight I wouldn't particularly think anything at all.

Seriously obese I would notice and probably feel sorry for them as I know how hard it is to lose even a few stone.

I was fat in my 20s. Lost the weight in my early 30s and have been a size 8 ever since without dieting. When I see someone fat I think that I’ve been there and they should lose the weight because they are wasting their 20s like I did. It gave me such terrible low self esteem. I get that not everyone is the same but it really did hold me back.

@thoonerismspread i am the same, I want to help. I was very fat for ten years, then trim and then morbidly obese. Bereavements and trauma plus a life changing health condition treated with steriods didn't help. I hated how I looked. My adult DC are not overweight. I've changed my life over the last few years, I don't drink and I eat a better diet.
I don't judge but I do want to help. I would love to run cooking classes now I am nearing retirement (I have a nutrition qualification). I spent twenty years embarrassed and thinking other people judged me or would discriminate (they did often! ). My profession has a reputation for harsh critics, I did well but it could have been a whole lot easier on my mental health if I'd followed a healthy diet.

Nothing. Young people IMHO spend too much time writing about what other people think and the reality is - we don’t really think about them at all

If I see very large young people I feel regret for the potential damage to their joints etc.

I notice that there is a geographic element : ie the nearer I am to the city centre the larger people are - the further into the country the smaller people get 🤷‍♀️

I notice when young fat people dress from head to toe in skin coloured tights with no underwear. I wonder if they have a mirror or if they’re demonstrating their body acceptance activism.

I don’t really judge things that don’t effect me but I notice a lot and just think and wonder about it.