pregnant sister drinking redbull

[handsoap]

i've had 2 children myself, and did no drink any energy drinks due to the fear of what could happen. my sister is 36 weeks pregnant, drinks a 355ml of redbull a day and has multiple coffees a day.

i have told her multiple times that she shouldn't be having so much caffeine as it goes straight through to her placenta and she doesn't listen to me or anyone, she hides it from her boyfriend. i think she forgets it's her own child she has put at risk here, no one else's. she also occasionally vapes.

am i being an *hole for calling her out?

You’re not wrong in that all that this stuff isn’t good for the baby, but you’ve told her, she knows and has continued so there’s not much else you can do.

How is your sister generally? How’s her pregnancy going? If she’s stressed, totally knackered a bit down etc maybe the cans of red bull etc are a way to give herself a boost? Caffeine can be really addictive anyway but it’s a lot harder to cut down if you have a lot going on.

Unless you've been addicted to all of them then you have no way of knowing that.

My husbands been addicted to smoking and energy drinks. His caffeine withdrawal was much much worse than giving up smoking.

He was in physical pain with caffeine withdrawal.

You’ve made your point so I think you need to stop berating her now. You’re right but she’s clearly not going to listen.

@Bringautumnnights ex smoker, ex alcoholic and caffeine user. don't tell me about struggles i have already come acrossed and faced. yes everyone is different, but when you decide and plan to have a child, you sacrifice your issues for the health and benefit of your child that had no choice to be here.

YANBU what an incredibly selfish woman!

I don’t understand why women get pregnant/continue with the pregnancy but do things that can harm the unborn baby.

You have given her the advice and now it’s on her whether she wants to risk losing the baby or it being harmed.
There’s nothing else you can do.

Does she not want this baby?

like i have said. i have only mentioned it 3 times during her whole pregnancy.

only came to ask what people thought since baby isn't growing much anymore.

behind her boyfriends back, our parents and her in laws. like i said, it is only her child that is the real victim here.

She's a grown adult and what she chooses to drink is none of your business or her boyfriend's or your parents or her in-laws. Stop infantilising her. She knows the risks, she's made her choice. Your advice has not been asked for, welcomed, or heeded so stop giving it before you end up damaging your relationship with her.

@Choochoo21 i have no idea! she stopped taking her birth control without telling her boyfriend, in a pretty shitty situation as they are both early 30s and live with my parents. she had just been broken up with after being cheated on in her past relationship of 9 years.

me and my parents think she baby trapped him because she is getting older and has always wanted a child. caused endless arguments with me when i was pregnant with my first and even planned to block me and our family because i 'stole' her baby name.

she has called her unborn baby a b*tch, a cow. etc. like i said, she has always lived jn a fairy world and probably didn't realise how shit pregnancy really was until it was too late.

Where's your evidence for this?

surely she is hiding it because she knows it is wrong. and yes, her partner deserves to know she vapes & drinks over the recommended intake of caffeine if it could be affecting THEIR child.

assuming you are the type of mother to do this.

Do you feel the right to police all pregnant woman’s behaviour or just your sisters?

Not his body, not his business. Once the baby arrives he gets a say in how he/she is parented but while it's inside the body your sister owns, his wants and needs are irrelevant.

@DoIWantTo i don't really care about other people's pregnancies, this is my sister not some random person off the street.

@handsoap do you love your sister? Want to continue a relationship with her? Then leave her alone.

If a man harms an unborn baby, then it is a criminal offence - and rightly so.

We would all judge a man for intentionally harming an unborn baby.

So why should we not judge women for doing the same?

Not only is she increasing the risk of miscarriage but she’s also increasing the risk of the baby born with lifelong issues and so of course OP is doing the right thing by advising her sister what will harm the baby.

Unfortunately that's not how addiction works but that's a whole other conversation

If she wants to risk her child’s health it’s up to her. I don’t agree with vaping / drinking energy drinks in pregnancy but some women are just rubbish mothers

Someone I know drank a 2l bottle of full fat coke every day during her pregnancy (not realising the caffeine risk) and her baby had caffeine withdrawal when she was born. Poor woman was beside herself.

These drinks are addictive so she may have a very grouchy baby for the first week of its life.

Wow OP, the more people say leave her alone the more you character assassinate her. Sounds like you really hate her, is she the golden child?

Her body, her choice. That is the boundary line. Otherwise the wrong people will end up deciding what women are allowed to do. Fuck off with that.

I don't think its as simple as that humans are very complex. I was 15 when I was pregnant with my first i was in complete denial for over half of my pregnancy I thought ignoring it would make it go away. When I couldn't hide it any longer and had to face it I stopped drinking and doing drugs but carried on smoking as at that time I was very naive and just kept saying this and that person smokes and their kids fine so mine will be. My 2nd pregnancy I did everything by the book I love both my girls exactly the same that didn't change but I changed and my environment changed. I did the best I could do for both my kids with the tools I had at the time

If a man harms an unborn baby, then it is a criminal offence - and rightly so.

He would be charged with child destruction but only if he actually intended to harm the fetus and only if it was past the point of viability. The charge of child destruction is rare as it's difficult to prove that intent to the threshold required for a conviction. The more likely charge in most cases is that of assault against the woman/mother as she was the intended target and the outcome of the pregnancy either way would be disregarded in terms of charges.

This woman isn't intended to harm her child, she is making a perfectly legal choice to put perfectly legal drinks into her body. It's not the same thing as a man intentionally harming an unborn child.

Yes you can offer advice of course. But that doesn't mean the other person has to listen and it sounds as if you go on and on about it a lot.