Feeling daunted by my child starting reception - how much should I help after school ?

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My DD started reception this week and I just feel filled with worries about how she's going to get on and how much I need to help her succeed.

I just don't think I'm very good/ patient at helping her and I know that she will need my help if she's going to succeed at school.

Any recommendations of how I can learn to help her the right way ? I'm just filled with worries this evening about it all.

Just read a story to her and listen to her...it's week one...

Just read a story to her and listen to her...it's week one...

Does the school offer any sessions with parents which guide you?

At our school they run sessions for each year group explaining the curriculum and saying what parents can do to support this at home.

generally at primary it’s not a huge amount unless they’re struggling. We read together daily, DD in Y5 gets weekly spellings. We practice times tables. It’s pretty low key.

Talk to her about her day. Read her school book with her at least a couple of times a day and then read other books as much as you can.

dont put too much pressure on yourself or on her.

I totally agree, the best and biggest gift you can give to your child is to encourage a love of reading. I've raised 4 kids to suit his and the ones that read =did better in school/college/uni. The only one that refused to read got 0 GCSEs.

Help her with what? School work?

You don't need to do anything extra, just carry on reading with her, talking to her, doing fun stuff together.

At some point she might get some reading to do or phonics to practise. Take the school's advice on when/how much to do these.

Help her to settle in?

Be patient with her, she's likely to be tired and a bit overwhelmed. Keep evenings relaxed with lots of opportunities to interact. Don't be afraid to move dinner/bath/bed earlier. Don't quiz her when she comes out, give her a chance to decompress and open up when she's ready.

Yes, read, read and more reading.

DC1 never stops reading and has done spectacularly well academically

Don't worry about it too much. I expect you've already been reading with them every day so just keep doing that.

How much reading ?

Yes the school have recommended stuff. I started doing some phonics practice at home with her sporadically since January when they started doing it in nursery but not consistently.

I'm just worried I will find it hard to be consistent.

She likes phonics.

Read every day, ideally the books that are sent home from school but also reading favourite bedtime stories for pleasure.

Phonics, again be guided by what comes home from school, there may not be much to start with and that's fine.

More importantly, remember that school takes a lot out of little ones. Early nights, healthy and easy food/snacks when they get home, low key weekends with plenty of fresh air will all help to get them through to half term.

How do you know she's going to need your help?

I would read a couple of stories to her every day, encourage her to talk about the plot, pictures, ask her about what you've read.
Do whatever the school asks in terms of reading and homework
Apart from that, make sure she gets enough sleep and don't pressurise her
I really wouldn't go overboard it's only reception. Enjoying stories and encouraging speaking and listening skills is enough. They do the rest in school and will advise if there's anything she needs extra help with

Doing extra phonics practice at home with a preschool child seems bonkers to me. There are so many better uses of time. Why are you so worried about her?

I honestly wouldn't do anything for the first few weeks of Reception. Just let her relax. There's a lot to take in and she'll be learning so much new stuff every day that sometimes, they just want to flop at home.

Schools job to teach her, your job to have fun with her. Read to her, play with her and take her to the park. Get the play doh and the paints out.

If you want to help her with reading learn the phonics sounds. Most schools use read, write inc and there are lots of videos on you tube. But don't stress it, you are not a teacher you are a parent.

My DD has now gone into Y1 but last year, her teacher recommended phonics practice at home. Little and often they said so she doesn't get too overwhelmed. Also reading. She may bring a book home each week from the school library to read with you. She will be fine and will hopefully settle into the routine. My DD came on so much during reception!

The only time we've done phonics at home was during covid and we had full time home learning. Listening to her read and reading to her is all you need to do right now. Don't stress about it.

And remember after school she will be very tired!! Give her a snack, let her play and chill. No need to do any extra learning letters, numbers etc. It's all about learning through having fun in reception, and settling in and enjoying school is the most important thing at this point (and arguably throughout one's school days!)

I guess I'm just stressed because they were telling us their expectations.

They'll be assessed before half term and need to know 15 sounds as well as be able to blend.

I know other kids who've been practicing and already know all the sounds since they were in preschool. I've practiced with her here and there, as she really does like it, but I am worried she's behind already.

Same with writing, she can write her name and a few numbers, but from the nursery pics they sent around last year, lots of children were writing a lot already. I just don't want her to be behind, so I want to help.

No need to do anything apart from reading in my opinion.

These children are 4/5 years old, they absolutely do not need to be doing more work at home after a full day of school.

The best thing you can do is read to her.

I certainly did not do phonics at home with DS in reception, nor in year 1 or year 2 in fact. There is far too much pressure on these little children.

DS is now 16 just started college doing 4 A levels in maths, chemistry, biology and computer science so it's done him zero harm!

You can support school everywhere you go - stop and sound out letters on road signs, notice numbers on doors and in shops, talk about propagation when looking for conkers together, research any sudden interests together (eg how can birds fly, when feeding the ducks etc).

Reading for pleasure, talking, listening and giving a consistent safe space to unwind IS helping with school.

Really, please don't stress about it. School will teach her, at her own pace. There's such a wide range of what is normal in Reception. You don't need to do anything other than read any books she gets sent home once or twice. She's not going to be behind anyone at all and she'll have other strengths compared to her peers.

Reading. Talking about her day. Taking a big interest in her school life as she grows up. And yes, promoting reading before bed as a good habit. That makes a huge difference.

But just let her relax after school and don’t over schedule her.

She isn't behind. If other parents have really been hothousing their 4 year olds over the summer then more fool them.

This really isn't something to worry about. Talk to her about school, have conversations about what she's been learning and what you can see in the world around you. Listen to her reading and read to her. And chill!

my daughter has also started reception this week.

get some alpha blocks for the fridge. When she takes an interest, play with them. We spell daft words like “poo” with an emphasis on the “oo” sound. Little things like that. Or spell your pet’s name. Or animal names like cat and dog.

i wouldn’t teach much outside of school in case you teach it differently or wrong!

if she’s going to have telly on after school while you cook dinner, make it alphablocks or number blocks. I’m astounded by how much my daughter has learned from those shows! Also, Maddies’s “do you know” is good.

you could buy or print some basic KS1 exercises/activities, and just do one an evening?

Read books before bed

talk about stuff when you’re out and about, eg point out numbers on buses, how tall and small things are, seasons, the days of the week etc! Whatever comes to mind.

all easy stuff .

Read to her, talk about the pictures in the book, ask what she thinks will happen next/how the character might be feeling. Once she's bringing home reading books from school, make time to listen to her read (the ones at my son's infant school had phonics activities or questions you could ask them at the end). Give her opportunities to practise her maths skills, e.g. at the supermarket, how many apples are in the bag? Keep it fun, stop if she's tired or not in the mood.