AIBU to be in love with my adoptive brother?

[orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements]

Sorry for the clickbait title - this is actually just a fun thread.

Take the plot of a book and turn it into a AIBU

I'll start.

AIBU to want to marry my adoptive brother that my dad found somewhere and instead of just doing it, acting like a total bitch to him and everyone else even after I'd died?

I'm a woman of a certain age living with my elderly mother (we've fallen in wealth & social status over the years to be honest) and there's this girl I've known all my life - she is beautiful & rich and a little bit vain about now clever she is and her father is something of an invalid.... anyway where was I? Oh yes, she was rather rude to me at a picnic and now she's knocking on the door looking all contrite (but only because another old friend scolded her about it) and I really don't want to let her in. AIBU not to answer the door? I know lots of people on mumsnet NEVER answer theirs....

I'm at a boarding school with loads of other girls. Most of them are great but there is one who is a spoilt mummy's girl and a bit pathetic when it comes to swimming and other outdoor things. AIBU to give her a good slap?

I loved these books as a child!

AIBU to worry that my DH will never get over his first wife?

We met and married in France when I was working but now he's brought me to his home in Cornwall and I can't help thinking everyone is looking down on me, especially his housekeeper.

He is very distracted and no support at all. Should I LTB?

I'll tell you what not to do...don't be a dickhead to her Aunt....

I (m40) proposed to a f25 - call her E - of a lower social station (f25), and she rejected me despite my wealth and good taste. In retrospect, the fact I disparaged her family, and prevent my bestie and her DS from getting together was ill-advised. I messaged her once, and since have kept out of her way to reflect on my behaviour.

I've just learnt her youngest DS is in a relationship with a man I know to be a gold-digging womaniser, who treated my DS very badly. AIBU to force them them to get married without letting E know I was involved?

Yeah, apparently your intermittent violence is OK, even slightly adorable, because you apologise so nicely that everyone thinks you're great, and no one likes spotty old Gwendoline Mary, anyway, and you get to be Head Girl and go on to St Andrew's while poor old Gwen gets to work in an office, because everything is her fault, always.

Have they got a dog?

To be fair the man you chose for her was totally uninterested in her and wanted to marry your wealth and status---- you. She was trying to please you!

So I had a really traumatic experience a few years ago while travelling in Malaysia. I'll spare you the details but believe me it was awful. While I was in the midst of it I met an Australian man who tried to help me and my friends and died because of it. I was devastated - we had made a really meaningful connection although nothing happened romantically (not that it could have with what was going on). Eventually things got better, some kind local villagers helped me and my friends and we finally made it home and I have tried to put my life back together.

I recently inherited a significant, life changing anount of money from a distant great-uncle I never met, and my first decision was to go back to Malaysia and organise a new well for the village where we were so kindly treated, where the sanitation facilities were very basic to say the least.

Anyway while I was there I discovered that the Australian man who we all thought had died trying to help us was actually still alive - he had survived when we all thought he was dead.

WIBU to fly straight away to Australia and try to find him? I don't exactly know where he lives but he told me the name of the nearest town to the farm he works on so I reckon I could track him down. Do you think I might come across as a bit needy to do that?

Don't worry, it's just the housekeeper and she's several sandwiches short of a picnic anyway.

It might be worth trying to ensure you don't leave any matches lying around in the open.

(OK, can use this for the second time on this thread......)

Sounds like a fire hazard.......

Do it!
Also, have you thought about opening an ice cream parlour?

I'd cut her a bit of slack tbh. Her good fortune won't last.

I don't know, one of them turned up with some ballet shoes that are supposed to have been her mother's but she's only a baby now. The oldest seems to be a bit of a play-actor.

AIBU to be fuming that FIL suddenly seems to be in perfect health now that he has the opportunity to take my son to visit a dodgy sweet maker? Not to drip feed but I've waited on FIL for years while he's lain in bed pretending to be at deaths door.

Letting us all live in poverty trying to care for 4 elderly infirm parents, denying my only child many basics, for many many years....

The stuff that leaps out at you as an adult that you don't notice as a child.

Are you a junior member of the aristocracy who is supremely talented at virtually anything he tries, hot in bed, with a nice sideline in detection? If so, go for it, you can help her with her detective stories.

WWYD - neighbours

I think my neighbours may be mentally ill. Should I get involved?

They have awful person hygiene and seem to genuinely hate one another. They also keep pet monkeys. However the last straw for me was seeing the man trying to trap birds on their tree using glue!

They now appear to be doing headstands in their front room.

There must be some authority I should be informing? AIBU or should I just keep my nose out of it?

My husband has been most unjustly accused of selling state secrets, and I have had to move to Yorkshire and am trying to WFH to earn a living whilst he is awaiting trial. I am basically letting the children do what they want, and it's mostly been OK though there was that time my son got done for stealing coal. However, they seem to have started talking to a strange man who travels regularly by train through our area and I'm wondering what his agenda is. Also they go on to the train tracks more often than I'm really comfortable with. Should I send them to school?

I, (M, 30s), was in love with my childhood best friend for years, but I never told her how I felt. We were both straight A students and totally on the same page, and I’m sure she would have reciprocated my feelings eventually. Things soured when she didn’t like some of the people I was hanging around with, we had words, and drifted apart. Then she went and got married to the guy who, along with his gang of seriously delinquent mates, bullied me all through high school. Can’t say too much, as it would be very outing, but I’m not convinced he didn’t trick her into it with some kind of spell lovebombing, the strutting little poser.

A few years later, we were on opposite sides of a genocide culture war, and I accidentally let slip some information about her to my boss, which resulted in the deaths of her and her absolute twat of a husband. I was absolutely devastated but only about her death and how bad it made me feel, not the fact that her baby son ended up an orphan.

Now, her old boss/my new boss former headteacher of our school who didn’t lift a finger to help when I was being mercilessly bullied wants me to look out for her son and make sure nothing bad happens to him. I can’t stand the sight of the kid, who looks exactly like his tosser father (except for the eyes). I’m also a little uneasy that my boss might have some sort of ulterior motive, he’s just that sort of guy, though everyone seems to think he’s the hippogriff’s beak the dog’s bollocks. He’s shady AF if I’m being honest with you.

WIBU to say I’ll do it, but treat the kid like shit and take every opportunity to make life more difficult for him?

P.S if anyone has a good recommendation for an anti dandruff shampoo I’d be grateful. I’ve been teased about it recently by a talking map.

I am a woman of colour. My white employer is an arsehole, & treats me like shit.
Amongst other indignities, I'm not allowed to use the same toilet as her white goddamn arse sits on.

AIBU to take a dump (in the outside john) & put my turds in the chocolate cake I have to make for her?

You'll be fine. As long as you're not profoundly in love with her.

Of course!

Love this one!