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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you have your own bedroom if you had space

135 replies

spanieleyes22 · 03/09/2024 23:42

So a friend of friend is moving house and she has said that the main bedroom which is en suite and has a teeny balcony is going to be her room. She's having a dressing table and fitted wardrobes and the bathroom is hers alone. Her husband is taking a bedroom across the landing next to one of her sons and is sharing a bathroom with him. (Other children are up on next floor).

Would you if you could 🤣

OP posts:
MountUnpleasant · 04/09/2024 13:01

We have separate rooms and always will.

the80sweregreat · 04/09/2024 13:03

Yes, it's a brilliant idea if you have the space / room.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 04/09/2024 13:05

Noooooo, love knowing DH is beside me

Welshmummytotwo · 04/09/2024 13:06

We don’t have the room (2 bed flat) but i absolutely have to have my own room due to having autism and my husband has a sofa
bed downstairs

PurpleCheese · 04/09/2024 13:07

In my marriage, yes. In the relationship I’m in now, no.

Alltheunreadbooks · 04/09/2024 13:08

I think me and my OH both know we want separate rooms if we were to have the space, as it is it seems I'm always looking for an excuse to use our lovely sofa bed downstairs - big, lovely mattress, quiet.
OH is a big snorer, and if I don't fall asleep first I find it really difficult to with the noise.
Separate rooms are no reflection on the state of a relationship. It takes a lot of love and communication to accept that sleeping separately is probably much better for you.

Boxofsockss · 04/09/2024 13:11

I would. Only off putting thing is it would be another room for me to clean!

MsNeis · 04/09/2024 13:11

Not a bedroom per se, but I'd love to have my own room to work and I would add a comfy bed in there, just in case...

BobbyBiscuits · 04/09/2024 13:44

It's literally not possible for me and DH to sleep in the same bed. His bad leg could be triggered which produces horrific nerve pain. I thrash around a lot in my sleep and wake every couple of hours, I've also got a bad hip so can't get comfortable easily. If I cuddled up to him he'd wake up in pain.
It's a bit sad as we used to be able to sleep together before both of our accidents.
But personal space is really important. I think when couples have to spend lots of time in the same room without having somewhere else to go it can lead to disagreements turning worse than they need to.

PayYourselfFirst · 04/09/2024 14:13

Kind of scary (for me at least) how many people don't actually want to sleep with their partner
Why scary?

Mine snores like a train, has a neurological condition which means he twitches all night.
He also works on a completely different schedule and is very loud.
Why is it scary to sensibly have my own lovely room,sleep peacefully and feel well?

Our relationship has improved dramatically and I have no idea why it's seen as a negative
I feel far more romantically inclined towards him now I don't experience the above plus farting,bad morning breath and stinky feet / bum scratching etc

KreedKafer · 04/09/2024 16:40

bifurCAT · 04/09/2024 12:21

This needs to be a vote...

Kind of scary (for me at least) how many people don't actually want to sleep with their partner.

Why scary?

I like sharing a bed with my partner, but I can completely see why sleeping separately works better for some people.

It's not sleeping separately that would indicate a problem with a relationship, it would be the reason that they slept separately that might indicate a problem.

For example - 'We sleep apart because one of us snores / is a ridiculously light sleeper / has hot flushes / can only fall asleep if the radio is on / keeps very different hours' do not indicate a problem. However, 'We sleep apart because men are gross and smelly / because he really fucking annoys me if I have to look at him in the mornings / because I want to avoid ever having to have sex with him / because he wants to avoid ever having to have sex with me / because he likes to sit up all night messaging camgirls' would indicate a problem.

BMW6 · 04/09/2024 16:56

I wouldn't want to share a bed again with any man (or woman) in the world!

SquigglePigs · 04/09/2024 17:06

Yes, absolutely. DH and I have separate bedrooms, have done for 15 years! Marital bliss is separate beds! Grin All his clothes etc are in "my" room as I have the master bedroom, DD has the second biggest room, and DH has a smaller one with a double bed, bedside table, and bookcases. We'll share in a hotel etc as I'll just wear earplugs but they're uncomfortable all the time.

Mairzydotes · 04/09/2024 17:09

Yes.

I don't know if we'd sleep separately all of the time, but I'd like the option.

Franticbutterfly · 04/09/2024 17:20

No way. Separate rooms is the beginning of the end imho.

ErrolTheDragon · 04/09/2024 17:27

I'm curious why some people hold sleeping (literally) with their partner to be so important. What we do together when we're awake is what matters, and that goes better if we've both had a decent nights sleep!

fortheveryfirsttime · 04/09/2024 17:28

Not permanently no. I'd like a separate dressing room so I don't have clothes, make up etc in our room. I'd also like a spare room for when one of us is ill or can't sleep but generally I like sharing a room/bed.

IcedPurple · 04/09/2024 17:46

Franticbutterfly · 04/09/2024 17:20

No way. Separate rooms is the beginning of the end imho.

Posted twice for some reason.

IcedPurple · 04/09/2024 17:46

Franticbutterfly · 04/09/2024 17:20

No way. Separate rooms is the beginning of the end imho.

Why?

If you have the space and prefer to sleep separately what's the problem?

For a lot of couples, the ability to have your own space might actually work wonders for the relationship.

Ineedwinenow · 04/09/2024 17:51

Lack of sleep on both our parts was the beginning of the end of our marriage, we started to resent each other and bicker before we decided on separate rooms so sleeping apart has now improved our marriage and not destroyed it like some posters seem to think, we are now happy, well rested, content and have a better sex life too!

LuluBlakey1 · 04/09/2024 17:52

We have spare bedrooms so could sleep separately but rarely do. If he has a cold we do. I can't bear colds. We do now each have a bathroom and it is bliss. Mine has a dressing area attached with wardrobes. I love it. My bathroom is spotless- no one else uses it. DC not even allowed in it.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 04/09/2024 17:59

The master bedroom is a shared room but the en-suite is used only by me (and sometimes teenage daughter if she’s out looting cosmetics) my husband has his own bedroom with his games consoles and Lego. If a stranger saw our house they would think we had two teenage boys!
I have an extra living room downstairs that I use for my hobbies. wall to wall, floor to ceiling shelves full of books and a mini bar. It’s a thing of beauty! Grin

KreedKafer · 04/09/2024 18:07

Franticbutterfly · 04/09/2024 17:20

No way. Separate rooms is the beginning of the end imho.

For you, maybe, but not for everyone. Everyone's different. I like sharing a bed with my DP and I wouldn't want to have separate rooms, personally - but I'm sure if people find it hard to get a decent night's sleep when sharing a bed (or even just sharing a bedroom) then the relationship's probably healthier when they're sleeping apart and waking up refreshed, no?

Superhansrantowindsor · 04/09/2024 18:09

Love DH with all my heart but would definitely have my own room if I could.

PayYourselfFirst · 04/09/2024 18:42

KreedKafer · 04/09/2024 16:40

Why scary?

I like sharing a bed with my partner, but I can completely see why sleeping separately works better for some people.

It's not sleeping separately that would indicate a problem with a relationship, it would be the reason that they slept separately that might indicate a problem.

For example - 'We sleep apart because one of us snores / is a ridiculously light sleeper / has hot flushes / can only fall asleep if the radio is on / keeps very different hours' do not indicate a problem. However, 'We sleep apart because men are gross and smelly / because he really fucking annoys me if I have to look at him in the mornings / because I want to avoid ever having to have sex with him / because he wants to avoid ever having to have sex with me / because he likes to sit up all night messaging camgirls' would indicate a problem.

Show quote history

We sleep apart because men are gross and smelly

Erm Blush
They are and I don't miss that bit at all