Page 15 | Feral children

Overbearingndn · 2024-09-03T18:01:10+00:00

Several children, have been arrested in connection with the death of an 80 year old dog walker. What is wrong with children today? I remember the Bulger case and it sent shockwaves around the world, now people just accept that children kill. [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/sep/03/five-children-arrested-over-murder-80-year-old-man-in-leicestershire https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/sep/03/five-children-arrested-over-murder-80-year-old-man-in-leicestershire]] **opening post edited by MNHQ**

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/09/2024 00:16

shuggles · 03/09/2024 23:42

@PyongyangKipperbang Of course the fact that he is bigger and stronger then her is a major part of that! When they are 6 you can pick them up and dump them into school, but you cant do that when they are 16 and bigger than you! Especially if that kid is violent.

I'm not sure why you're obsessed with the idea of 6 foot teenage boys specifically, because no one would be able to physically pick up any teenager regardless of their size. I don't think I could physically dump a teenage girl into school either.

The point though is that size is irrelevant. A teenage boy can still receive a firm punch on their ear, or can be beaten using a wooden spoon. Teenagers have no means for earning their own money, so they can be controlled by removing financial privileges from them too. Size doesn't count for anything- make it clear to a teen what they need to do, and what the consequences will be if they don't do it.

The 60;s called and asked if you are back any time soon.

If I were to take a wooden spoon to my son when he was 15 (and frankly he was being such an arsehole at the time that a spoon was the least of what I wanted to do) it would be ME in court. Sadly thanks to the internet the one time I slapped him around the face for telling me to fuck off, his online mates told him to call the police as it was assault. They were loving the drama and egging him on and he was daft enough to listen to them.

Social services were involved as the "violence in the househole" happened in front of his (then) 8 year old sister. So no, you have "told [parents] how to do it" at all. Unless "it" is "making things worse".

WearyAuldWumman · 04/09/2024 00:17

DoodleLady · 03/09/2024 19:55

Oh come on. The kinds of chaotic families that almost certainly produced these kids do not practice gentle parenting. That’s a strictly bourgeois indulgence.

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The children who behave like this don't always come from obviously chaotic households. Very often, they're from "nice, middle-class" households where parents can't say "No!" to their offspring. (Yes, I know that that is not gentle parenting.)

I'm basing my comment on my experiences in secondary schools. Elsewhere on here, I've told of how I was punched in the stomach when I was pregnant (but not obviously so). I was in my 40s, so kept myself sane by telling myself that I would have probably lost it anyway - I never managed to reach beyond the first trimester.

One pupil was assaulted and then I was punched. The two male teachers who came to my assistance were also punched. The local police "lost" the statements. (The boy was below the age of 16, so it wouldn't have gone beyond the Children's Panel here.)

I couldn't prove that I'd ever been pregnant: I'd been waiting to re-test, because I'd only got a faint positive. Being an idiot, I didn't want the boy to be stricken with guilt.

Some years later, I found out that this now adult male was boasting about punching me - I had girls coming into my class giggling about it.

This was a boy from a "good" home. Around the same time, another boy punched a male teacher who happened to be of small stature. Again, a boy from a "good" home. (At least in his case, the police got him for breaking into cars as soon as he turned 16.)

Behaviour in Scotland is becoming increasingly worse in schools. I do occasional supply. A visibly pregnant TA was punched at my place of work earlier this year.

I can't speak for what's happening in England, but in Scotland a huge part of the problem is that the courts won't deal with those under the age of 16 here. If anything happens at all, it's a referral to The Children's Panel or SACRO. (My assailant was referred to SACRO 20 yrs ago. He told them I'd "got in the way". Translation - was desperately trying to keep my stomach away from him. They wanted me to have a "restorative conversation" with him. I refused.)

I can think of one boy who did actually finish up in secure accommodation. He'd set light to a homeless person.

To my mind, the only way to stop the rot is to bring back meaningful consequences. Teenagers - to my mind - just see "Restorative Justice" as a kind of weakness.

I'd also want to see strong penalties for teenagers who film assaults and upload them to social media.

Another problem that I'm seeing here is that when the problem is a chaotic household, social workers are reluctant to remove children from that household: "The best place for them is at home."

Demonhunter · 04/09/2024 00:20

shuggles · 04/09/2024 00:08

You and others are crying in this thread about how it's supposedly impossible to control children. I've told you how to do it, then your response is to make snarky comments. It seems that some people don't want to be helped.

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My mum is a tiny woman and when we were kid, if we dared back chat (not that it happened often) she had this really bendy flip flop and it always seemed to be handy, she would bend it and you'd get a flick of it on your calf 🤣 we've always laughed about that as adults, how the little fly bite flick would stop us in our tracks 🤣

BlackShuck3 · 04/09/2024 00:21

It's too late for national service, we are too far gone down the pathway to failed state.

WearyAuldWumman · 04/09/2024 00:21

Plasticstaircase · 03/09/2024 20:06

Difficult isn’t it.
It’s only socially acceptable (it seems here) to name them as a little monster/ evil child/ psychopath after such a heinous crime has been committed. I just wonder how many people would be willing to answer that a child should be ‘put down’ , in answer to a thread where a parent is struggling with their violent teenager?. Likely there’d be outrage and posters would call for the child to be ‘assessed’.

Very often, you'll find that teachers have raised concerns and had them ignored. That's certainly happened to me in the past when I've flagged up clear evidence that intervention was required.

BlackShuck3 · 04/09/2024 00:23

My mum used to slap me quite a lot (I think that's why I joined the Mafia tbh🤷🏼).

Thebaguette · 04/09/2024 00:26

Auburngal · 03/09/2024 22:37

The victim was a Hindu or Muslim, not Sikh as a photograph released shows a clean shaven man.

There are still many many white people who are racist. They voted for Brexit because of these Asians who many moved to the UK well before 1973. when UK joined the EU (or EEC in those days)

Hindu not Muslim

WearyAuldWumman · 04/09/2024 00:29

Plasticstaircase · 03/09/2024 20:27

I honestly think we’re way past the point now in the uk where we can simply blame parents.
There are so so many factors beyond the control of parents. The accessibility of drugs is one. Smartphones is another. Limited youth services and police resources is another.
I have seen so , so many teens fall into horrible situations with drugs, and consequently violence. They weren’t all from broken homes or backgrounds of generational poverty. Most in fact were middle class kids experimenting with vapes and weed in local parks , escalating to buying highly addictive spice laced drugs off men in cars via Snapchat. Usually parents were in desperation and frustrated by lack of support from camhs / gp/ school.
Anyone who thinks this sort of thing is limited to areas of deprivation , or simply a product of poor parenting, is pretty naive.
I remember speaking to a very experienced member of teaching staff, he’d worked in pupil referral units across the country and was tasked with troubleshooting behavioural issues. He had an astounding record for turning lives around for troubled kids, seeing them leave school with brilliant prospects. But he told me that involvement with cannabis was the one problem which was the hardest, as it was next to impossible to ‘get them back’ once they were deeply involved.
And its everywhere now.

I agree with regard to cannabis. I can think of two particular boys whose lives were absolutely blighted by it.

In one case, it was really bright boy whose mum smoked the stuff herself. I managed to get him a basic qualification: he didn't attend school most days, but i persuaded him to come in one day and sit all his internal assessments at one time.

I recall phoning his mum and her saying "Well, you can try speaking to him yourself..."

The other lad definitely had anger management problems. He suddenly became very "mellow". He actually began to work.

His dealer got him onto heroin. The last I heard, he was being used as a rent boy. Yes, everything was passed on to the appropriate authorities, but social work wouldn't act. As for the police...they don't care about cannabis.

My husband and his best friend went to see the police about girls who were being abused after getting high. (The friend's daughter was a victim. This was in the north of Scotland.) They gave the name of the dealer. "Ah, you see - we only want the big fish."

HeyPrestoAlakazam · 04/09/2024 00:30