“There’s no way you can be pregnant without symptoms”

[Lemongrassays]

DH and I are due to start IVF soon for unexplained infertility. While we wait, we are still TTC and recently had a HyCoSy (standard precursor to IVF at my clinic), which we were told can increase our chances of conception a bit as it does flush things through.

Best friend knows about our situation and I mentioned that I was feeling hopeful this month. Can’t test yet as AF is not due for another 4 days. She asked if I had experienced any symptoms (I haven’t), to which she said there is absolutely no chance in hell of a pregnancy if I haven’t noticed any symptoms by now. She then launched in to a long rant about how she had every symptom under the sun before her missed period and I’d just “know” if I was.

Am I being totally stupid in holding out hope? I’ve never been pregnant, but didn’t think it was uncommon for the first and only symptom of early pregnancy to be a missed period? 🤷‍♀️

No, you've still got every chance! There's no reason you'd have symptoms yet with 4 days yet to go before AF. No idea what her agenda is but she's wrong

Thanks, glad I’m not going totally mad. I like to think I’m hopeful but always realistic!

This isn’t the first time she’s been overly negative about my hopes of conceiving either!

Other than missed periods and a bump I’m someone who wouldn’t never have known I was pregnant until I gave birth. I never felt anything out of the ordinary.

Even for people who do get symptoms though - sickness etc and then later heart burn and pelvic pain etc - I don’t see how you can get so many symptoms so early and think it’s typical. Nausea etc is bought on by the pregnancy hormone. If you don’t have enough HCG in you to turn a pregnancy test positive how are you experiencing all these symptoms?

Your friend is an idiot.

The only symptom I had with both dc early on was implantation bleeding. Other than that didn't have symptoms until a few weeks after missed period. Your friend is quite wrong and very rude. Good luck to you Op!! 🤞

I was surprised every time. From TTC forums at the time that seems common.

I had a friend who had a baby without even knowing she was pregnant. These people exist - what is your friend's explanation for those?

All the very best of luck to you, though.

What an absolutely 'lovely' friend. Instead of lending a listening ear she rants at you regarding a VERY sensitive topic. Hate to break it to you but she's not a friend. I wonder if she'll be happy for you if you are pregnant....
Ignore this stupid woman. Clearly she hasn't majored in midwifery. Women can go a whole pregnancy without realising.
Good luck. I hope it works out for you and be with people who make you happy.

Your friend was horribly insensitive. I didn't have a clue till morning sickness set in around 6 weeks. I only tested because my period didn't show up, with absolutely no other symptoms to give any clue.

Not only do I hope you're already pregnant with a healthy baby, but I hope you have as few symptoms as possible throughout a joyful, healthy pregnancy just to spite your friend.

Agree with this (all of it. I also only tested at around 6 weeks due to missed period, then morning sickness)

All the best, OP.

Of course you can have no symptoms. Sounds like this is more about her?

I was 8 months pregnant after 10 years of trying. Admittedly I was on meds and had endometriosis so periods were bit hit and miss at best. Went to GP as I was having difficulty doing my skirt waistband up and feeling tired a lot. Got sent to gynae at local hospital with suspected ovarian cyst. Turns out it was a bouncing baby boy! No symptoms no weight gain no sign whatsoever. It can and does happen. So fingers crossed .

It’s not something I say often because it’s sounds smug but I never had any problems being pregnant. The first time I was really really far gone because I was on birth control so didn’t miss periods. No heart burn, morning sickness, sore boobs none of it. 2nd time my dm was demented cause I didn’t have any signs, even subtle one. So definitely in the first 8 weeks it’s very possible.

Of course you can be pregnant and have no symptoms.....at my 12 wk scan I apologized to the lady saying apart from the pregnancy test being positive I had no symptoms so they might not be anything there ..she laughed and said yes there's a baby ..my now 8 year old dd. Keeping fingers crossed for you xxxx

This ^

There is every chance you're pregnant. All the best OP!

You could lie on your back and feel around a bit right down low on your belly. My uterus had hardened up in less than a week. But if I hadn’t looked, I wouldn’t have known.

I had felt movement/twitching or something four days after having sex so I was a bit on the lookout. Peeing on a stick was still showing negative at this stage.

Rubbish. I got 1 symptom with my eldest at 3 weeks (which I also sometimes get just before my period anyway. With my others I got no symptoms until 6/7 weeks pregnant. Good luck and hope this is your month.

I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd at 16 weeks. Didn’t have a single pregnancy symptom (other than a growing bump) for the entire pregnancy. Which is weird because I felt horrendous in my first pregnancy.

Four successful pregnancies, never had morning sickness or nausea, not especially tired, no sore boobs. Only symptom was a growing bump, and even then people said it wasn’t obvious until 7 months or so.

Last trimester - loads of symptoms, including a massive bump and constant heartburn. First two trimesters - no symptoms at all. Only knew because I'd missed a period and was fairly regular, so that seemed unusual.

Ignore your friend, and good luck x

Every month I was TTC I convinced myself I was pregnant as I thought I had symptoms EXCEPT for the month that I actually found out I was pregnant. No symptoms at all and they didn't kick in til 8 or 9 weeks.

Your friend is a moron.

First pregnancy loads of painful cramps and then early miscarriage.

Second pregnancy (DS) no PMS symptoms so thought something was up and tested.

This pregnancy all the PMS symptoms as normal to the extent I didn't test until it was over a week late as I was so adamant I was just late.

So all completely different!

Your friend sounds mean. Who made her the expert?

Good luck with ttc.

I had terrible morning sickness/hyperemesis that started the day before my period was due so I knew straight away. Dd found out she was pregnant at 25 weeks, she had no sickness and no other symptoms and had regular 4 weekly bleeds. I think we are at the opposite ends of the spectrum and anything in between is normal. I'd say that it's not unusual to have no symptoms before your period is overdue though certainly my sisters didn't.

I've never had a kid, but I do know that lots of my friends didn't notice any symptoms whatsoever in the early stages of pregnancy.

I suppose it's possible that your friend is trying not to get your hopes up, to minimise the potential for disappointment, but what she said sounds very insensitive and quite unpleasant to me.

Best of luck with your treatment, OP - fingers crossed you'll get some good news very soon!

Your friend is wrong, you are right.

I never had symptoms with my son - apart from the obvious bump eventually, and the kicks! I think I might have gagged a bit more when brushing my teeth, but this was all way after I took a pregnancy test! I was fully ready to see a negative test and couldn't believe it when I saw the line!