“There’s no way you can be pregnant without symptoms”

[Lemongrassays]

DH and I are due to start IVF soon for unexplained infertility. While we wait, we are still TTC and recently had a HyCoSy (standard precursor to IVF at my clinic), which we were told can increase our chances of conception a bit as it does flush things through.

Best friend knows about our situation and I mentioned that I was feeling hopeful this month. Can’t test yet as AF is not due for another 4 days. She asked if I had experienced any symptoms (I haven’t), to which she said there is absolutely no chance in hell of a pregnancy if I haven’t noticed any symptoms by now. She then launched in to a long rant about how she had every symptom under the sun before her missed period and I’d just “know” if I was.

Am I being totally stupid in holding out hope? I’ve never been pregnant, but didn’t think it was uncommon for the first and only symptom of early pregnancy to be a missed period? 🤷‍♀️

I had LOADS of symptoms with my first pregnancy, I knew I was pregnant before even testing

My second my period was 3 weeks late and I thought it was just doing one of its random not turning up things as it did sometimes, I had not one symptom.

good luck 🍀

I didn't know until 4 months with DC3, I was still breastfeeding DC2 and periods hadn't returned. I didn't feel sick with any of mine.

Technically, you are not pregnant before you've missed your first period (even if everything is aligning biologically to make it so) so no you don't know, or have any proper signs before you are even biologically pregnant.

(I do believe some women "know" or have the gut instinct it has happened but I feel this is more on an emotional/spiritual level and not really the norm).

Women can get to 6 months or full term without even realising they are pregnant so of course you don't know so early. Please don't worry at all, if it's going to happen it will happen.

I was well into month 4 before I knew. I always had very irregular periods and was using a coil.

Your friend is wrong. With DD I knew before I missed a period but with DS I only realised at 12 weeks.

Infertility is a dreadful thing to go through, and having your hopes shattered all the time is really draining and demoralising. I just want to say to you - any shred of hope you feel, cling to it and don’t listen to people who have no idea how painful it is to never have seen 2 lines. Wishing you all of the best, OP! Hoping a precious little one joins your family really soon xxx

My mum was five months pregnant with her first before she discovered she was pregnant. Everyone is different

Other than missed periods and a bump I’m someone who wouldn’t never have known I was pregnant until I gave birth. I never felt anything out of the ordinary.

Same here, In the early days I would have to actually remind myself that I was pregnant when DH cracked open a bottle of wine! No symptoms whatsoever.

I didn’t have any symptoms even at 6 weeks pregnant!!

You are definitely right. With my first I didn't have a clue until 6 weeks when I started throwing up. WIth my second I had a lot more symptoms but it was more planned so I think I was also looking for them/guessing a bit/hoping. Good luck, I hope this is your month x

No way, I could have easily got to 7 weeks without knowing I was pregnant!

Even longer if I was someone that was often a bit tired and nauseous regularly.

3 people I know for passed 20 weeks without knowing. She is talking bollocks..

Hi OP.

I’d guess that most miss a period first. Don’t go by the TTC threads on here as people actively TTC will be symptom spotting - but remember the second half of the menstrual cycle is progesterone dominant anyway so tricks the body into thinking its pregnant therefore many ‘pregnancy’ symptoms are simply premenstrual ones often. So it’s kind of a confirmation bias. I only noticed I felt arguably a bit rough one day because I was also TTC. If I wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed I didn’t feel 100% myself.

Wishing you the very best with this round. I’d possibly be selective with what I share with this friend as she doesn’t sound terribly understanding. I get some people are blunt and shoot from the hip and candour certainly has its place but on this occasion you need encouragement. And frankly what she has said is simply not true!

I didn't know until week 23 . At week 22 I was chasing suspects ( and caught him! ) then got back to the car and threw up . No symptoms at all . And in fact none for the subsequent 4 for at least 14 weeks either .

When we were 19 me and my friend were going night clubs and drinking.
One night she said that she had pains in her tummy. We went back to her house
and her mum thought it was appendicitis took her to hospital.
Next morning her mum phoned me to say my friend had given birth to a girl.

Fingers crossed for you. Ignore your friend.

Yeah I second PP, your friend is a moron.

Good luck OP, everything is crossed for you x

I had no symptoms at all until 8 weeks, and even then it was only tiredness. Fingers crossed for you! x

Everyone is different and so are their symptoms or lack of them.

I hope you are pregnant or are very soon.

Yeah she’s talking shit!
I didn’t ‘notice’ any symptoms prior to being late with AF but then when I looked back after a positive test I was like “well, I was a bit tired and I did break out with a big cold sore” things that weren’t out of the ordinary and wouldn’t necessarily be related to a pregnancy anyway!
Fingers crossed OP

I had really sore boobs and heartburn before my positive tests, my friend went to 5 months twice without realising! You could absolutely still be pregnant, why is your best friend so negative?

I had no symptoms, other than achy boobs for the whole first 16 weeks ish until I started to show! There was no way I could have known without testing. I think often people don't talk about this because it seems like bragging that you didn't have morning sickness... (Mind you, the PGP in the third trimester made it for it, so no smugness here!) Wishing you well with your TTC/IVF.

She’s annoying and stupid.

That is all.

I had zero symptoms with DS (he was a very long awaited IVF baby so I was on high alert too). If it wasn't an IVF pregnancy I wouldn't have tested until well past my period being due. I continued symptoms free through the whole of the first trimester and into the second, a bump and feeling movements were my only 2nd trimester signs then indigestion in the last few weeks.

I was absolutely convinced I had either falsely willed a positive test into existence or that I was going to miscarry as I was totally without sensation of being pregnant. My friend who was a few weeks ahead of me had every symptom in the book (and some that weren't). We are all different.

Thank you so much for your kind message 💕

Had very few symptoms for both pregnancies and didn't know until 16 weeks with my second.